Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Countering anxiety and other negative emotions
zenguitar
Bad BuddhistNew England Veteran
Hi Sangha, I should know this by now, but apparently I am quite dense.
What positive Buddhist emotions should a person cultivate if they have a problem with anxiety? What about anger? Greed? Depression?
And (this is the clincher) how exactly do you cultivate those positive emotions asap?
0
Comments
Watch them come and go. The good and the bad. Eventually they don't stick so much.
Watching is not cultivating.
Metta bhavana is worth considering: http://www.wildmind.org/metta
Samatha meditation and mindfulness are also helpful.
>
Well, I don't know about 'asap', but the Mindfulness and meditation is 'it' for me. While I don't expect super immediate results, it happens quicker than one can imagine, but when there's a line-up of problems like that, one can't expect it to happen in a snap, but I've been fairly amazed at the results of mindfulness and meditation.
Before I started practicing mindfulness/meditation, I had used EFT and NLP* and have simply incorporated those (mainly the NLP) and I think it helps, but it all seems to be a surprisingly gentle process - but not always.
*NLP stands for Neuro-linguistic Programming. For best starting info, look up book From Frogs to Princes, authors Bandler and Grinder.
http://www.amazon.com/Frogs-into-Princes-Linguistic-Programming/dp/0911226192
I'd recommend cognitive behavioral therapy if you're really struggling with anxiety. I have had an anxiety problem for a few years and CBT has really, really helped me very quickly in a short space of time. It basically challenges the negative thoughts and helps you see how crazy, irrational and unfounded they are and it also challenges you to do things that make you anxious, so if you have social anxiety for example, that may include starting conversations with strangers.
In general, yes mindfulness meditation is helpful. A good technique is to breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4 and exhale for 4. Practice this daily and bring it into situations in which you feel anxious. This brings you into the present moment but also slows down the nervous system. Anxiety is adrenaline and cortisol making you feel very panicked and everything moves at top speed - this exercise grounds you and slows you down so the anxiety dies down massively and cannot pick up further traction.
Also reciting Om Mani Padme Hum is helpful to me as is metta to a lesser extent - you're planting really positive emotions and intentions and thus melting the self absorption and excessive focus of anxiety.
But really if you have a problem, addressing it at route is most helpful and CBT really is unbeatable for anxiety treatment.
Furthermore, consider aerobic exercise and diet (omega 3 and B vitamin rich food is great for anxiety).
This is a good summary of the Buddhist approach to anxiety -
http://thubtenchodron.org/2011/06/happiness-within/
..."asap"....?
Drop all expectations, perceptions and attachments, immediately.
Stop being angry, greedy and depressed, and quit grasping all impermanent phenomena, straight away.
That should do it.
Otherwise, just like most - if not all - of us - it's merely a question of keeping on keeping on, one step at a time, simply one step... until you realise you've covered a fair distance....
If you think you're experiencing anxiety and depression, then you should seek professional help right away. Cultivating "Buddhist emotions" (whatever that means) is all well and good, But reaally, won't won't go too far towards dealing with anxiety and depression. You don't have to take drugs, but you should at least seek out a therapist that's a Buddhist or has Buddhist influences. There are plenty out there.
Take my word for it - I know what I'm talking about.
As far as anger goes, dealing with the anxiety and depression may deal with that. Greed is another thing.
Regardless, there is no ASAP for these things. It's your Karma. There are ways to cultivate generosity. Donate money to worthy causes or to homeless people or your local temple.
Mostly just practice and loose focus on your self.
"Asap" never took anyone anywhere. Good things come to those who patiently wait.
In the Vinayapitaka, there is what you call the Four Contemplations (Giacobbe translation), where every negative emotion is counteracted by a positive one:
Detached observation of thought and mindfulness of breathing help neutralize the negativity of certain thoughts and feelings.
But it takes patience, time and consistence.
Hmm, I thought that was the whole point of Buddhism, that is, to reduce and eliminate suffering, especially mental suffering.
Anyway, thanks for your advice.
I will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume this is not false humility and you really are dense.
Basically you are asking how to fix everything? Really dude?
The Buddha took six years from being an idiotic aristocrat to enlightenment. First he had to develop basic qualities, for example digesting what the teachings of the meditators and truth finders of his time provided.
I have used NLP as it uses light trance, language modification and other tactics that I found useful. However CBT seems a more therapy based route with a sound basis, which NLP does not have.
Positive emotions for example equanimity, compassion, patience, kindness etc arise from committed practice. You may still be a spiritual tourist or half hearted dabbler. You can decide that.
If you are not yet ready to meditate, too many conflictive emotions, then move towards therapy if available/required. Taking herbal tranquillisers occasionally and deciding to do yoga, martial arts, Qi Ong, exercise etc. has a proven record of balancing out some of the emotions you mention.
Start ASAP.
According to the thread "Are we really 99.99 % empty space,?" you shouldn't be that dense...
If you developed an abcessed tooth, would you cultivate Buddhist emotions, or go to the dentist and get it taken care of?
>
You completely misunderstand. If there is a mental condition which could be classified as an affliction, a disorder or a diagnosable condition, then how can someone in such a state eliminate their own suffering? It's like asking a blind person to paint in colours....
The kinds of 'Suffering' experienced by someone going through depression or anxiety are not always the kind that can be alleviated by mere meditation.
Sometimes outside support is essential to personal progress. And there's absolutely nothing wrong, or any shame on that, whatsoever.
I don't know @zenguitar very well, but if he's anything like me, he's a DIY'er.
Picking a decent doctor or dentist requires a certain amount of trust and as we all 'should' know, it's hit and miss much of the time -- how much more so when we decide to seek out mental / emotional help / therapy. I respect DIY'ers because they respect themselves enough to look things up for themselves. After all is said and done, we can still end up picking a clunker.
Those expectations of Buddhism will get ya every time.
In the Buddha's time, there were no effective treatments for depression and anxiety other than drinking, chewing narcotic leaves or leaving your family and becoming a monk.
You keep banging your head on Buddhism with your expectations of it, you and lots of people. I do believe if you've had appropriate psychological or psychiatric interventions done, THEN the next step is to make a platform for yourself by using your chosen spiritual path to keep and improve your condition after therapy.
People who recover from mental illness or substance addiction often rely on a spiritual belief system to maximize and continue the benefits of their healing, whatever that is. The 12 Step programs were the first to realize that.
Depression and anxiety are real conditions, and if you've lived with them for a while, your brain has become accustomed to responding to life in depressed and anxious ways. Your brain, a physical organ in your body, is partially malfunctioning. Modern medication and therapies have made these conditions curable, vamoose, gone.
You can't meditate your kidneys into performing adequately, and that holds true for any other organ in your body.
Buddhism is not some 'thing' you use for self improvement, or as an 'alternative' way to heal your body, including the brain. Your BRAIN is depressed and anxious, not you
If you are too depressed or anxious to meditate then it ain't gonna work . . . obviously.
If you are psychotic and practicing Buddhist Tantra, you can easily go off the deep end. Why? Because without proper non psychotic or drugged up supervision it is potentially damaging (to say the least). Some of the Tantra self styled experts I have met are not fit to advise my cat . . . and I don't have one . . .
If you are in pain and trying to meditate without medication, you are either advanced, deluded or hoping for a miracle cessation . . .
Buddhism requires common sense, reasonable stability (yes . . .yes Mr Cushion, I do realise I am talking to myself) . . . and then some serious committed effort. Like most good things.
Nonsense.
Stop being dense.
More clues from the Newbuddhist gals an' guys required? Really?
Dharma was my natural first aid.
There are some excellent books on Buddhism and psycotherapy or emotional intelligence, too, that could help you a lot.
I am not talking deep-seated issues nor pathological problems here.
But for the average mental affliction that strikes now and then, coming to grips with reality, acceptance of things as they are, dropping all expectations of wanting things to be otherwise, Buddhism can provide many answers.
Are you sure, @zenguitar, that you're really giving mindfulness and meditation a serious try? Reading? Studying?
Our comments here cannot replace the actual walking the walk all the way...
Hmm, I thought that was the whole point of Buddhism, that is, to reduce and eliminate suffering, especially mental suffering.
It is, but a basic level of emotional stability and resilience is required for effective practice since Buddhist practice can take us out into deep water. Doing therapy for psychological problems might well be more effective, and it's a myth that Buddhist meditation is designed for that purpose - it isn't! The possible exception is metta bhavana, which does have a therapeutic aspect, but even that is really to prepare us for the challenges of the path.
Okay, thanks. First, I should apologize for not being too clear in my original post. I was asking what positive emotions would counter everyday negative emotions, not how to fix a serious mental illness. (I should have used the word "sadness" instead of "depression").
Second, I must admit that I was looking for a "quick fix" or shortcut to deal with these emotions. Who hasn't felt, say, anxiety in a particular situation and wanted a quick way to get rid of it, so that you can function more effectively? Thanks @vanilli for the deep breathing advice.
Finally, ok @lobster, I am not dense. Rather, I like to think of myself as dharmically challenged.
Daniel Goleman's "Destructive Emotions" deals extensively with replacing negative emotions for positive ones.
At moments it gets a tad too scientific, but it makes very enlightening reading on the working of our emotions.
There are no quick fixes, no shortcuts, except practice.
By actively deciding not to give in to negative feelings and trying the positive approach, eventually there will a be a mental click.
What is your anxiety about? What is your sadness about?
Reality being what it is, negative emotions like anxiety or sadness tend to come up when we are not being acceptant of reality as it is.
The death of a beloved one, losing your job, a natural catastrophe, are facts of life that we usually cannot change, except to choose our own reaction to the vicissitude.
There is usually something we can do about almost anything in life.
And some things in life take a mourning process that you can't bypass.
If you're down with hepatitis, you can't expect it to wear off in two minutes.
You can't expect to swallow the whole Buddhist bibliography and pretend you won't suffer anymore the minute you finish the last page.
Meditation trains you to observe your thoughts. Thoughts trigger feelings.
The more you meditate, the more acquainted you get with your thinking process and how you process your feelings.
And the more you'll be able to sieve through the useless chatter.
@zenguitar. Being dharmically challenged seems a wonderful way to put it. From a seed of wisdom comes------.
>
Meditation trains you to observe your thoughts. Thoughts trigger feelings.
The more you meditate, the more acquainted you get with your thinking process and how you process your feelings.
And the more you'll be able to sieve through the useless chatter.
>
^To the point -- nicely said^
Maybe because I read a lot of Taoist and TCM literature, but is all stored in the same part of my brain along with Buddhism, I thought the seven emotions were to be discarded. Compassion seems to be the only replacement.
About anxiety, and obviously depression, I know people who had good results with acupuncture, but they suffered from pathological anxiety.
If anxiety is caused by fear I think there are only two ways I know of overcoming it, either by knowing very well the object of fear and how to act in relation to it, or by ignoring it (the object of fear). However this last is better as a last case resort like an unexpected situation.
For depression I think the old Russian method is the best, physical exercise. I believe it can also alleviate anger. But in the long term creating different habits of reacting to circumstances seem necessary.
I agree with you, I also would expect to find answers for emotional problems in religions like Buddhism.
In TCM each organ has an emotion and a phase associated to it. The five phases follow a production cicle and a destruction cicle and you can use the destruction cicle to put one undesirable emotion at check. LIke water-kidneys-fear are controled by earth-spleen-thinking. So you can rationalize the fear. On the other hand fire-heart-joy are controled by water-kidney-fear so you can use fear to control excessive joy. Don't know if this is related to or was absorbed from Buddhism in any way.
TCM has nothing to do with Buddhism. But what you say, is correct, and there's absolutely no harm whatsoever in considering these factors. Having studied TCM and Shiatsu, I find that there is no incompatibility....
@Zenguitar, off the top of my head:
(these are books I have in my 'library')
The Buddha's Brain by Rick Hansen
The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris
There are quite a few books by Rick Hansen, who is a psychiatrist and a Buddhist, on this subject. He gives down to earth/in the moment type strategies for coping with anxious etc feelings. In fact, I wish I'd mentioned him earlier, cuz this really is what you asked for in the first place
@zenguitar, You have had some excellent suggestions like Buddha's Brain and The Happiness Trap. They do work with anxiety and sadness. They deal very well with learning acceptance. Acceptance can make you extremely resilient if you learn how to cope with it. At this time, you are struggling against your emotions.
It really depends on what you are struggling with. Another approach that can teach acceptance, is The Work of Byron Katie. She has free stuff on her website like questionnaires that can lead you to a very open mind with the ability to see any problem from both sides. It teaches loving what is, which is very Buddhist. John Kabatt Zin is the Guru of mindfulness in the medical circle and he called Byron Katies approach "the perfect Cognitive Behavior Therapy."
Best of luck. Hope you try some of the suggestions.
Thank you.To be honest except for rationalizing fear which I learned from Epictetus and personal experience I never followed very much the 5 phases approach in a conscious manner.
Thanks for taking my harsh response in the way it was intended . . . Bravo.
I would kindly suggest we are always or should always feel challenged. However the important thing is developing a butt kicking machine that works primarily on us.
As Mr Cushion says, 'the butt stops here'
Looking in retrospective I must apologize for not answering anything of what was asked at the OP while occupying the thread with three irrelevant coments, since the OP addressed only Buddhist techniques.
Yesterday I was reading a bit of How to See Yourself as You Truly Are by HHDL and found some quotes directed to this issue on chapter 2.
"Without ignorance counterproductive emotions are impossible; they cannot occur."
The problem of course is that to use this I have noticed one must be deeply conscious of impermanence and mechanisms of attachement and having developed some degree of midfulness something I'm still strugling with. Otherwise it goes all back again to the same.
I appreciate you mean miNdfulness but bringing things back to the centre or 'Midfulness' seems a good plan . . .
Middle Way. Always works best....
Yes it was meant to be mindfulness but I guess both make sense on this issue.
>
The problem of course is that to use this I have noticed one must be deeply conscious of impermanence and mechanisms of attachement and having developed some degree of midfulness something I'm still strugling with. Otherwise it goes all back again to the same.
>
It is funny to me this morning anyway, that I still struggle with the assimilating being deeply conscious of impermanence and mechanisms of attachment, because Christmas without my son is a big challenge (among other Dukkhy things).....In other words, I had a terrible-two's type tantrum yesterday -- only a slight exaggeration.
@silver maybe that's a good time for practicing.
I know where you come from, @silver.
Happens to me too and for the same reason.
No matter how one grapples with the concepts of impermanence and attachment, this will be our sole dharma stumbling stone.
My heart melts with yours in such moments.
You are not alone