Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
I .....need to get rid of I ...
carolann
Explorer
In general lately , I ve felt unappreciated , I ve felt tired , I ve felt that no one ever thanks me , I ve felt no one ever says " ypu sit down I ll make you a drink , I feel I never have time for myself , I feel no one thinks about me , only about them selves .....and on and on and on .....I need to stop , I , going around and around my head ....x
0
Comments
I totally get this!
That damn 'I' is a drill sergeant, isn't it? Especially when it feels sorry for itself. It's like a petty tyrant.
Been there done that, @carolann. From my personal experience, when that happens, it's the signal to start appreciating yourself more. Take a nap or a nip, heehee...go to bed earlier and get more rest or take a walk or dance a jig or sing a song. Buy a box of calgon bath oil beads (it's cheap)!
It still happens to me, and so it's great to have a reminder of what to do...so thanks for that reminder, @carolann!
P.S. This is what you can do because you won't find it easy at all to change others, to our chagrin.
Just coming in here always makes me feel so much calmer x
Do nice things for yourself without harbouring any expectations about other people's behaviour.
And don't take your "I" so seriously.
I .....need to get rid of I ...
@carolann I've been there and done that..."I" know where you're at.....
Meditate! Meditate! Meditate! First you must know the enemy so to speak,"Who am I" and one of the best ways to know is through meditation...Once 'no self' is experienced, then the ability to 'just drop it' - 'let go' becomes easier ...
As of late when speaking and the "I" is uttered more than once I get the feeling in my gut that is uneasy and reminds me that there is no I... Being new it will take practice, but the more I divorce myself from the use the better it feels.
I have been doing a lot of the "I" crap lately.
I recognise this, I see the negative aspect and connotation - but dammit, if only someone else would validate "me" I wouldn't "I" so much!!
Oh look, we get it.
Being Buddhist, when you frankly don't feel like being Buddhist is hard work!!
And sometimes you think to yourself, "Oh Fekk this, I don't FEEL like being all 'Buddhisty' and Self-Less.... I just want my Ego to take centre-stage for a minute!"
You know what?
We ain't Monks/nuns.
We're not cut out for it.
But the 'penalty' we pay, for succumbing to Ego, Self-ishness and Me-ism' is the occasional laconic, resentful, morose feeling that being good is just too hard, right now.
MY Cure - apart from coming in here and reading some very worthy posts from fellow members - is to promise myself a ** set period of time ** to do what I want, when I want, for me.
Harmless. No skin off anyone else's nose, no spite, no depriving others, no rudeness, no hostility, no uncaring attitude.
Just a little bit of 'me' time.
Today I bought myself a £2.99 bottle of nail varnish and got me a hair trim at a barber's shop (so much less expensive than your high-street posh hair salon!) so I feel much better now!!
Today is mine.
Tomorrow, it will be back to the "OMmmmmm".
So my walk along the path had a pause.
so what?
We can always start the stroll again......
I remember those good cheap massages back in any old street in Singapore but never dared to afford the price here.
Nonsense! My feet hurt badly.
That should keep my 'I' cuddly and in check for a while.
What I want is rarely what I ever need.
Sheng Yen, one of my favourite Zen masters, said:
" Our needs are few; our wants are many"
What about turning things around and only want what we need ?
Deliberately allowing 'indulgence' . . . hey, that sounds reasonable. Mindfully 'bathe' in the experience of a hot fudge sundae, or a real tear jerker of a movie.
I thought the 'point' (if there is such a thing, but relatively speaking) was acceptance/tolerance of whatever is happening, which includes forays into weakness or sensual pleasures. There's nothing one can't do 'mindfully', and that includes indulging habits, even addictions. "UnBuddhist" behavior, as far as I know, doesn't really exist beyond a the relative.
It at least calms or slows the mind down a degree. Then it's easier to watch the thoughts.
Also try to remember that the thoughts are not your own. They come and go. If they were your own you would only think lovely thoughts.
I'm trying to improve the "I" whilst trying to see through the charade.
Hope you are well and see through the illusion.