Blindly stumbling along the path
Morningstar
Louisiana, USA Explorer
So I'm a newbie. I guess it's been about a month now since I've actually begun practicing meditation (or trying to practice) and studying the teachings. I believe it was early 2013 when i first became interested in Buddhism because it rang true in my ears. It was the truth I felt i had always known but hadn't really every paid attention to. I guess the question is.... is it really that simple? I've gotten a diary to keep track of anything that comes to me during meditation, I have a few books I've started to read an tons of audio talks via podcast. I feel like i'm trying to cultivate a "practice" but i'm not sure how to do it. I have this urge to recon attack it like everything else in my life (podcast, check. Buddhist book, check. yoga mat, check. yoga class, check.) but i don't have a routine, it's just a plan everyday that sometimes gets completed and sometimes it doesn't. I've even been thinking about doing a retreat, a short one just to submerge myself in that environment like a kick start of sorts.
I read that its OK to contemplate and discuss matters related to Dharma and the cessation of Dharma and I've been wishing there was a group of actual people I could meet with regularly but there aren't many sangha's here; southern Louisiana. Even typing this post i feel like i just need to shut up and meditate to figure it out.
Comments
On the Buddhanet directory there seems to be a bunch of Buddhist centers in LA.
http://www.buddhanet.info/wbd/province.php?province_id=39
Finding a sangha to meet with, only if occaisionally, would be helpful to developing practice as well as study.
thank you @chaz !!
Buddhist "practice" doesn't have to be different from just going about your life. It's the attitude behind your going about your life that changes. You become mindful of your thoughts and actions--do they fit in with the Eightfold Path? Right speech, wholesome actions, non-harming? You monitor your motives--are they based in compassion, or are they based in ego-clinging? Do you practice random acts of kindness? Those things are Buddhist "practice".
@dakini My main issue is controlling strong emotion. I think I've been doing a good job at being aware of this and it's been helping me to step back from those emotions and really be present instead of feeling attacked or drowned by them. When I get tangled in my emotions, right speech, wholesome actions, etc. get swallowed alive. I try not to feel to guilty about my time on the cushion because my practice so far has been listening to Dharma talks non stop and reading so that when I feel myself slipping away i hear "not me, not my, not myself" or "attachment is suffering" or "have compassion" and so far so good i think but for some reason I feel like my "practice" isn't complete without a group of people to share and discuss it with....
Well, it's all new to you, you're taking in a lot of ideas at once, so maybe you naturally seek out fellowship in connection with your new "practice".
Meditation could help you get to the root of those strong emotions, the cause of them. Then you can practice non-attachment, just letting them go as they arise. If there's trauma at the root of them, IMO some trauma therapy with a professional could do wonders, and wouldn't have to be a big, long time commitment. For now, your meditation "practice" could be simply reflecting on that, on why your emotions come up so strong and overwhelming.
Little by little, step by step. Good luck
A small time each day builds up a routine. See if you can come to a certain, if even small, time of meditation every day and stick to it. Some peoples feelings they say are too big. Some say they have to little emotion. Your feelings are what is in the present moment. There will only ever be this particular moment one time in the universe. You can just be with these feelings.
Is this an appropriate time, @sdaniel to mention the Sona Sutta....?
@sdaniel the fact that you are noticing your strong emotions is progress.not so much progress I guess, but an indication that you are aware. Like @dakini eluded to, there is everyday life and there is meditation, but your practice is just you living your life mindfully. It's all one thing.
@federica thank you for linking to the Sona Sutta. It's a nice reminder!
It's a timely reminder to one and all, me included....
My pleasure.