Pithy stories with a twist.
lobster
Crusty Veteran
OK It is an oldie but my favourite . . .
When two masters meet (Contributed by Atanu)
I am reading a book by Mark Epstein called Thoughts without a thinker, which is about psychotherapy from a Buddist perspective. I recommend it very highly. Anyway, I liked the opening chapter enough to share it with all my buddies. Here it goes:
In the early days of my interest in Buddhism and psychology, I was given a particularly vivid demonstation of how difficult it was going to be to forge an integration between the two. Some friends of mine had arranged for an encounter between two prominent visiting Buddhist teachers at the house of a Harvard University psychology professor. These were teachers from two distinctly different Buddhist traditions who had never met and whose traditions had in fact had very little contact over the past thousand years. Before the worlds of Buddhism and Western psychology could come together, the various strands of Buddhism would have to encounter one another. We were to witness the first such dialogue.
The teachers, seventy-year-old Kalu Rinpoche of Tibet, a veteran of years of solitary retreat, and the Zen master Seung Sahn, the first Korean Zen master to teach in the United States, were to test each other's understanding of the Buddha's teachings for the benefit of the onlooking Western students. This was to be a high form of what was being called dharma combat (the clashing of great minds sharpened by years of study and meditation), and we were waiting with all the anticipation that such a historic encounter deserved. The two monks entered with swirling robes -- maroon and yellow for the Tibetan, austere grey and black for the Korean -- and were followed by retinues of younger monks and translators with shaven heads. They settled onto cushions in the familiar cross-legged positions, and the host made it clear that the younger Zen master was to begin. The Tibetan lama sat very still, fingering a wooden rosary (mala) with one hand while murmuring, "Om mani padme hum" continuously under his breath.
The Zen master, who was already gaining renown for his method of hurling questions at his students until they were forced to admit their ignorance and then bellowing, "Keep that don't know mind!" at them, reached deep inside his robes and drew out an orange. "What is this?" he demanded of the lama. "What is this?" This was a typical opening question, and we could feel him ready to pounce on whatever response he was given.
The Tibetan sat quietly fingering his mala and made no move to respond.
"What is this?" the Zen master insisted, holding the orange up to the Tibetan's nose.
Kalu Rinpoche bent very slowly to the Tibetan monk near to him who was serving as the translator, and they whispered back and forth for several minutes. Finally the translator addressed the room: "Rinpoche says, 'What is the matter with him? Don't they have oranges where he comes from?"
The dialog progressed no further.
I luvs that story. Any old faves?
Comments
What's that one about the zen student who tells his master that he is enlightened and his zen master then pounces on him and attempts to kill him. The zen student fights for his life, gets free and then runs outside and sits on the pavement, bleeding, and trying to get his breath back.
As he's doing so another zen student of this teacher passes and says, "Oh, so you've told the teacher you were enlightened too?"
KNOWING NOTHING
A monk asked Zhaozhou, “I have come here and know nothing. What are my duties?”
Zhaozhou said, “What’s your name?”
The monk said, “Huihan.”
Zhaozhou retorted, “A fine ‘knowing nothing’ that is!”
Zenkei Shibayama (1894-1974), overseer of the large Rinzai Zen Nanzen-ji branch of temples, once related: “There is a common saying [in Japanese Zen], “Miso (bean paste) with the smell of miso is not good miso. Enlightenment with the smell of enlightenment is not the real enlightenment.”
(Worth remembering when we receive occasional 'honoured Guests' within the walls of our Dhamma-Home here, who profess they are more than......but then of course, we must remember our manners....
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I read that part of the agreement was to only cover certain material and the 'what is this' question was something outside of the agreement. Not sure if that is true or who said it! Probably an internet dude said it
@Tosh . . . bit violent those zeniths, do we need them on a leash?
. . . here is the same idea from various perspectives but not as a joke . . .
http://www.joantollifson.com/writing8.html
I don't know if it counts, but one of my fave 'pithy' stories that always sounded Buddhist to me was:
Once upon a time, there was a little bird who refused to fly south for the winter. His friends cajoled and coaxed and told him he was being a fool: He would freeze to death. But the little bird was adamant: He wasn't going and that was that.
The other birds took off and the little bird sat on his bough. But pretty soon, the cold winds began to blow and the little bird began to re-evaluate. Finally he decided he had made a mistake and took off, heading south. But winter had gained its footing and the snow and hail fell. It was very, very cold. The little bird exerted all of his energies, but ice began to form on his wings. It was cold and hard to see and he was running out of energy.
Finally, he was spent. He knew he was a goner ... and he plummeted to earth, where he landed in a cow pasture. There he lay, breathing what he was convinced was his last. He waited for death.
But a passing cow happened to stop where the little bird lay. And the cow took a shit ... all over the little bird. The warmth of the manure thawed the little bird's wings and suddenly he realized he was going to live. He was so happy that he began to sing. A passing cat heard the singing, dug through the manure, found the little bird, and promptly ate him.
There are three morals to this story:
Not everyone who shits on you is necessarily your enemy.
Not everyone who gets you out of the shit is necessarily your friend.
And ... 3. If you're happy in your own pile of shit, keep your mouth shut.
Haha, great stories everyone!
I enjoyed the hilarious Gurdjieff story Pema Chodron told in one of her lectures.
"There was a man in his community who was really bad-tempered. Nobody could stand this guy because he was so prickly. Every little thing caused him to spin off into a tantrum. Everything irritated him. he complained constantly, so everyone felt the need to tiptoe around him because anything that might be said could cause him to explode. People just wished he would go away." "Gurdjieff liked to make his students do things that were completely meaningless. One day there were about forty people out cutting up a lawn into little pieces and moving it to another place in the grounds. This was too much for this fellow, it was the last straw. he blew up, stormed out, got in his car, and drive off, whereupon there was a spontaneous celebration. people were thrilled, so happy he has gone. But when they told Gurdjieff what had happened, he said, "Oh no!" and went after him in his car." "Three days later they both came back. That night when Gurdjieff's attendant was serving him his supper, he asked, "Sir, why did you bring him back?" Gurdjieff answered in a very low voice, "You're not going to believe this, and this is just between you and me; you must tell no one. I pay him to stay here."