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Siddhartha's leaving wife and palace -
mockeymind
Veteran
What was the reason why Siddhartha left his wife and son. How buddhism look at the event. Is it culture, tradition, a requirement before entering ascetic or something else.
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Just my opinion and thoughts on this:
I guess he believed that he needed to be away from distractions / attachments that come with living with an immediate family.
I live with my wife and kids so I can appreciate how strong that attachment is!
I tried to rationale from what my mind can process - but I can't yet "justified" to myself why he deserted such responsibility.
Well, he was rich, and left his wife and son even the palace to live in, much less many riches for living on.
He relinquished a lot, but he needed to find something of truth.
Why worry about it much? We don't, and will never, know what really happened. Maybe it was an arranged marriage...would it matter if that was the case? Maybe he talked to his wife and had her full support. We just don't know. Remember also, Buddhism is not immune to fables.
His wife and child were not left wanting and when Buddha awoke within him, he headed back.
For the greater good perhaps?
There are times when I am having a stinking day with kids and I think how selfish the Buddha was for leaving his family but it ended up being the right thing to do.
The ends justified the means perhaps?
@karasti - i don't worry much of it. It just I read that it is common question being asked in the life of the Buddha. It was the practice in India during the Buddha's time, there was lots of renunciants, people who turned their backs at worldly things. I am seeing a pattern here. I saw people living a simple lives because of the practice, even the DL gave everything he got from the Noble Price and offered it to people.
I tried to meditate and realized that in order to gain true knowledge, one has to make sacrifice. From my personal point of view - deep inside he already had that wisdom that he must empty himself so he can receive far more of what he has.
We don't know how fable or accurate the story was- but it doesn't matter. It basically touches what we all know and shared of - suffering. And he said that is the place to start.
He saw old age, sickness and death.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_sights
hmmmmmmmmmmm
"What was the reason why Siddhartha left his wife and son."
Because he started having an affair with Dharma....
Because he felt that the security he sought through having a family was not a true refuge and he wanted something more than that. As an unawakened person, basically he was acting from a sense of self.
There are many ways to interpret this. Here is one way:
Before awakening Siddhārtha Gautama Shakyamuni was as ordinary as all of us - confused by life, death, the universe and everything . . . His options to find the Truth seemed limited to him due to the pressures of duty and Shakyamuni klan responsibility. His dad probably expected him to wear the bedsheets of his time and beat the local uppities into submission. Oh boy, same old Uncle Sam/Sara! So great was Goataramas need to find out the cause of suffering that he relinquished his wife, child and privileged warrior king heritage. He worked hard visiting teachers and practicing the prevailing mind practices of the time, eventually waking up. Bravo, well done dude. You iz Enlightened, now what ya gonna do? [see history]
Your question is why was he irresponsible, not perfect? Apply the question to yourself and the answer is obvious. Sleeping people are not perfect. Come to think of it the awake are a lot better but perhaps perfection is for gods and pop idols.
Yes, it was traditional back then for people to go off and wander as ascetics, to lead a "homeless" life.
The Buddha was from a high-status family, so presumably his immediate family would have been well-cared for in his absence. And quite possibly having a wealthy family made his decision easier anyway.
Even when he was not still awaken, I never thought of his move "irresponsible" , because of his numerous lifetimes (aeons) I would say more of a "respect"- What my limited knowledge of him tells me that it is just his time to be awaken, regardless if status. He probably come to a platform where he can no longer see the value of attachment of worldly possession.
As to question myself too on this lifetime using the Four Noble Truth - I also started to see that there is nothing in this planet that could make me happy (permanently) There is a change of seeing things that nothing is desirable or worth clinging. I learned a lot from Ajahn Chac's teaching.
I will say that it would be easier for me to practice buddhism because I don't have much possession in this world. (somehow i'm happy for that, lol) It will be easy for me to practice "The art of disappearing"
He was self-centered. It's not a respectable thing. Saying he 'had good reasons' is like the wife saying her husband beats her because he loves her. He was a young man, very self-preoccupied, very pampered, and was raised to regard a wife and/or family as less important what we regard them as today. She was well taken care of, and so was his son. But the act was selfish. He wasn't enlightened (yet).
That's actually a more common question than you'd think. All the answers above I think explore the issue. It boils down to, you're judging his life and marriage, and what was expected out of the marriage, by today's standards. As a Prince, his marriage would have been arranged and he performed the important duty of producing a male heir before leaving. As a Prince he would have also had concubines if not other wives eventually. While romantic love between royal man and wife was certainly known in those cultures (eg. Taj Mahal love affair) it was not expected or common. His wife remained as mother to the heir in the palace with all privileges and honor in the wealthy household as before. To those people, that would have been the important point. So the image of a man with a mid-life crisis leaving his wife and baby and heading off to "find himself" and maybe find a younger girlfriend while he's at it simply doesn't fit. For one thing, he left a life of riches to go starve himself in a forest.
But the story tells us why he left. He became obsessed with the problem of suffering in life. He'd heard of (and probably met) the gurus who claimed to know the way to the answer, so went to join them. He traded silk sheets and banquets for eating pine needles while learning to tuck your testicles up into your body. That's insane by any normal standard, isn't it? As he walked away, I bet his father told his mother and wife not to worry, that as soon as the idiot learned how miserable a life it was living in the forest with nothing but rags, he'd be back.
So the story itself basically says he was an obsessed young man and his obsession was the single-minded focus needed to penetrate the Dharma.
In the beginning it might be seen as selfishness but the end result was selflessness .....The things we do for unconditional love....
You can say that because he was successful. Had he failed the diagnosis would be quite the opposite.
Would we be having this discussion if he had failed...
You could at least say he had a good intention even if he had failed.
I think of it as he saw he had this tremendous potential. It was now or never. He may have sensed he had the potential to overcome death etc. It may not have been in words or remembering the past lives preparing. He might have had a feeling that this was his big chance. Certainly the idea of reincarnation was in India. Shakyamuni may have thought that his chance to attain the spiritual goal was in this lifetime and in the future he may not have all of the conditions gathered together in terms of mental qualities. I feel the same thing in my practice. I have so many favorable qualities including quality instruction on meditation and the time and motivation to meditate and study for a large part of my day.
How many people do this every day and nothing comes of it? People leave their families every day to "find themselves" and because what they want has changed. They don't become Buddhas as far as we know though. He obviously was looking for a different type of answer, most people today don't leave their families to explore suffering, but to attempt (and fail usually) to escape it.
I think we tend to have sticks up our butts about marriage these days. Now, I'm not saying I support someone who has taken on responsibilities just up and leaving them on a whim, especially children. But the notion that one can marry at, say, 23, and expect that their relationship will stay so close to the same that they can happily be married for the rest of their lives is a bit silly. That's the notion most younger people marry under, which is rather ridiculous. "I'll love you forever and ever and nothing will ever change my love for you!" is a pile of baloney. People change and so do relationships. Those who can't keep up with changes trip and fall in doo-doo. So to apply this romantic notion of "love and marriage are FOREVERS!" especially to a time and culture from so long ago is even more silly.
"What, then, is that incalculable feeling that deprives the mind of the sleep necessary for life? A world that can be explained even with bad reasons is a familiar world. But, on the other hand, in a universe suddenly divested of illusions and lights, man feels an alien, a stranger. His exile is without remedy since he is deprived of the memory of a lost home or the hope of a promised land. This divorce between man and his life, the actor and his setting, is properly the feeling of absurdity".
and...
"At any streetcorner the feeling of absurdity can strike any man in the face."
-Albert Camus "The Myth of Sisyphus"
Maybe Siddhartha realized this absurdity or something akin to it-"Beginning to think is beginning to be undermined."-Albert Camus "The Myth of Sisyphus"
I would also add trying to view another culture and time through our culture and time would be a rather imprecise and difficult endeavor at best.
And yet "we" do it all the time in assessing Buddhist scriptures. And we should heed your caution.
There is no knowledge won without sacrifice - This makes sense to me to know its not selfishness. The same question asked myself - What is the thing I could give up for the practice.