Bullying/Bullied and The Practice
mockeymind
Veteran
I found a thread about these, but I decided to put another one. This is particularly bullying at the work place. We all know that buddhism advocates non-violence, and the Buddha always recommend a total shift in perspective on how things works.
(I got to wrestle at this on the early weeks of the practice)
Greed with Generosity, Hate with Compassion and Ignorance with Wisdom that the practice encouraged. But in the modern world we lived in, sometimes it is too much. Sometimes you wanted to apply "A tooth for a tooth" approach just to prevent you from being exploited and abused in a workplace.
I will admit that the first time I came into practice. It was intended to shield me from unfairness and injustice of this world. But as the practice became clearer and clearer, there is more to it that just for a purpose of "shielding" oneself- I realized that enlightenment is possible.
So my question is how buddhism deals with bullying at work place. They sometime take advantage of people who have strong calmness and equanimity. How far could a buddhist like us can take of injustice, bullying and unfairness. Should one just wait for karma? anyways you don't have to do anything for karma to work,. it is just how natures work.
I tried to apply a teaching which reflects that attitude of Dalai Lama. He always tried to find a common ground that can use to build a good relationship. But honestly, I don't see it clearly how in these modern world applies. So I turn, just to my old friend meditation, because it is the only time where you can regain balance of physical and mental elements. Still I'm just hoping that there is a sutra or teaching particularly aiming bullying, injustice and unfairness.
Comments
You deal with bullying, as usual, on two levels:
One level involves business contractual practice, and is dealt with, by adopting the standard practice outlined in the Employee Guidelines. It cannot and should not be tolerated, and should be dealt with in the correct and accepted business-practice manner.
Bullying is a form of Misconduct, and has penalties attached.
The second level (to run concurrently) is to understand that Suffering affects everyone, and the sufferer is both the bully and the victim, and each deserves equal measures of Kindness and Compassion.
How this is manifested is for you to decide, using the Skilful means taught in the 8FP.
I think we focus to much in what to do with our problems. And because of that, we seek formulas about how to deal with this and that. Naturally, in a Buddhist forum, we look for Buddhist solutions.
My impression is that the "do" part is the end of the chain, and we shouldn't try to jump into it before being able to see things clearly. When we try to follow some method about how to deal with something without proper understanding, we usually fell more frustration and distress.
So, I don't have a formula. The only thing I might say is that through wisdom, your acts will come naturally.
@Rodrigo @federica - I suddenly recalled what the Buddha said:
To the slayer, comes a slayer.
To the conqueror comes a conqueror,
he who plunders is plundered in turn.
On the other side, I think bullying is a clear manifestation of "weakness" rather that a display of power. It is a camouflage in which weakness hides. Seeing them (the bullies) with wisdom, you can see suffering manifesting.
There is no 'think' about it.
Bullying is unquestionably a weak and rude man's show of strength.
In the past, such behaviour was at first, accepted, then tolerated, and only then did people afterwards begin to question the validity of letting it go unchallenged, so much so that opinion has fortunately evolved and turned 180 degrees.
While I entirely agree with your sentiments regarding Wisdom, and seeing the suffering, this should never in any way impede you from doing what is both right AND 'Right', in order to prevent their repeating their behaviour.
It must be halted in its tracks as completely unacceptable.
We should expect same respect and treatment from people - in the same way we respect and treat others. No more no less. Ajahn Bram mention this on several talks.
Yes, agreed, but we're going off at a tangent here....I thought this was a thread about bullying at work...
Are you being bullied?
Is there a person at work who is bullying others (with or without you involved) whose actions require exposure?
@federica - No, I am not the one. Its a dharma friend at work who is a buddhist. (we support each other in the practice) He is always composed and calm. But I can "see and feel" that he is on a threshold of breaking. To the extent of thinking leaving his job.
So far, my advice to him is seek refuge in wisdom. I cited some attitude of the Dalai Lama in dealing with the Chinese leader - "finding a common ground" He already exhausted the avenue of policies and regulation, but honestly speaking, it seems that it just fall in deaf ears. He is one of those buddhist who just practicing, but it seems they keep on pushing him everyday - "an easy target"
doormat dharma?
Maybe take a lesson from the wrathful deities of tantric dharma and the Shaolin Buddhist monks?
http://www.chinwoomen.com/books/shaolin.html
He needs to put his complaint in writing, keep records and present evidence, and state that if he gets no satisfaction, he will pass the complaint higher.
(I obviously don't know what type of company you work for, how many employees/levels there are or even if there's a union... but "it's the squeaky wheel that gets the oil...")
Seeking Refuge in Wisdom is admirable, providing you don't be a dimbo about it.
Our failure to gain any valid and positive result is often a sign that we haven't been as wise as we hoped we were being...
In fact, the Dalai lama was not a good example, was it?
I mean, what progress has he actually made towards gaining a foothold in Tibet again?
I rest my case...
I suspect he's actually made no progress (or very little) because his actions have been tempered by [Idiot] Compassion and a false sense of sympathy for the suffering.
I hate to say this, but sometimes, we need to act and appear selfish, to preserve ourselves and protect who we are.
And if that means kicking ass, I respectfully suggest that's what you advise him to do.
Could you show him this thread? Just to prove it's not just you saying it....
@federica
The problem with judging the Dalai Lama's success with the Tibet/China situation seems to be dependent on what arbitrary boundary's we try to contain it within.
Was he successful in
Helping those wishing for more Tibetan independence?
Helping those wishing Tibet's modernization?
Helping in the lessening of suffering for the most sentient beings involved?
It does sound like mockeymind's friend is less inclined to involve himself in worldly judgements than spiritual ones.
Is this a situation of white knight-ism.
It's often good to ask whether a situation is actually about someone else or
is it really more about our own stuff.
If he has indeed exhausted all his options, it may well be time to part company with those who may cause him stress. If parting company is not an option, the only thing left is to push back.
Bullying for a practitioner can be a great resource for their practice of tolerance. Bullying for ordinary people can sever their spiritual mind by shattering their self esteem and opening their mind to evil. So yeah, we should stamp out bullying!!!!
On the contrary, dharma bullying in the form of troll modification is a wonderful service to the Buddha.
Are you ready for wrathful but benevolent manifestations of the Buddha Mind? I do like trolls. I do I do, I do!
There is always more that can be done with reference to policies. Higher up people who run things, those who actually make and approve the policies. If all else fails, there is always social media, and no company wants bad news about their failure to act put in the social media spotlight.
In the end, yes, if the work environment is such that he is not doing well he might have to consider leaving. But he should not be forced to leave a job that supports his life and/or his family because some people refuse to follow the rules. It just gives them more power to continue their bad behavior.