What can be acts of kindness and compassion in daily life? - Part 2
misecmisc1
I am a HinduIndia Veteran
hi all,
few weeks back i raised the above thread. got some insightful replies from you all. watched this video at this URL https://youtube.com/watch?v=PT-HBl2TVtI and saw the website at URL https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/kindness-ideas .
these days, i try to practice the below things (may be my ego wants to boast about the below things to become more bigger):
when i open a door at office, then i look back to see if someone else is coming and try to hold the door for them - one time i saw a girl which was coming behind me, and somehow i holded the door, then i realized it will take her almost 4 to 5 seconds to come to door as she was slightly behind me, but somehow when i saw her face, she was smiling a little bit, then somehow i grabbed hold of the door and honestly speaking just holding the door for those 3 to 5 seconds for her to pass through the door, something too heavy was inside me - don't know what feeling was that, but it felt like i was trying to swallow or bear something, which is too hot to drink or was feeling too heavy like as if i was doing something wrong. but i held the door for those 3 to 5 seconds, and when that girl realized i was holding the door for her, her little smile turned into a big smile. now whether it was lust or something else can't say - and this is not the point of this thread.
i try to say good morning to the working staff at office (the persons who keep the pantry clean, floors clean etc).
i share insightful posts on Facebook, which i get from other web-pages.
i try to say thank you to every office colleague, who helps me in some way.
i even tried smiling at strangers in office, though it was difficult as most of the time, those people who do not know you, usually try to not make any eye-contact with you, so even though if i try to smile by looking at them, but since they are not seeing me, so my smiling or not does not make any difference. i also notice that people in office, usually behave as if the other person (whom they do not know) do not exist, as they just ignore or neglect their presence and keep them involved only with people they know.
just wanted to check from you all - what acts of kindness and compassion do you practice in your daily life? also any suggestions in what other areas, can i try to act kindly? please suggest. thanks in advance.
Comments
What you describe above is not kindness or compassion.
It's common courtesy, and is normally practised by most people, all the time.
Compassion is taking a customer's hand when they are visibly upset by something happening in their life (as happened today)....
Kindness is taking a little girl's hand and walking with her to find her mummy when they have become separated, even though it's your tea-break and your time is limited....
Compassion is ensuring a customer is feeling ok, when you realise they have been sitting in the same chair for half an hour, and haven't tried any shoes on....
Kindness is going to fetch a correct-sized garment from the rail to save the customer having to do it, because they're a bit elderly and frail, even though you have a short queue of customers waiting to be served....
And I have absolutely no idea whatsoever what sensation you were describing, but I don't experience anything like that when I practise kindness, compassion OR common courtesy....
I try to smile and say hello to people I make eye contact with. Or if I'm on my cell phone in a store, I stop the call if I am going to talk to a sales associate. I try to be mindful of little things that let people know that I know they are a person and that they have value.
Also, never let someone be left hanging on a "high five." Nobody gets left hanging.. Not on my watch.
I think kindness and compassion can take many forms and a small gesture can be as significant as a big one. It just depends on the needs of the person.
I once saw a young homeless man who came up to me and asked if I had change. I decided to give him $5 dollars. To me that's really not much money, I waste $5 dollars on stupid useless things all the time, but when I gave him the $5 dollars I saw his eyes tearing up and he gave me a huge hug. He was so happy and he told me how much that meant to him. I've never felt so good about spending $5 ever.
I've also exchanged some punches with a friend, which may not seem kind or compassionate, but it was in order to get his car keys and to stop him from driving home drunk.
So, I think it all depends on the needs of an individual and our capacity to understand those needs and respond in a kind and compassionate way.
_"May I be a guard for those who are protectorless,
A guide for those who journey on the road;
For those who wish to go across the water,
May I be a boat, a raft, or a bridge.
May I be an isle for those who yearn for landfall,
And a lamp for those who long for light ;
For those who need a resting place, a bed;
For all who need a servant, may I be a slave.
May I be the wishing jewel, the vase of plenty,
A word of power, and the supreme remedy.
May I be the tree of miracles,
And for every being, the abundant cow.
Like the great earth and the other elements,
Enduring as the sky itself endures,
For the boundless multitude of living beings,
May I be the ground and vessel of their life.
Thus, for every single thing that lives
In number like the boundless reaches of the sky,
May I be their sustenance and nourishment
Until they pass beyond the bounds of suffering."
From ‘A Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, by Shantideva_
Thanks for asking. We start from where we are. Not from where someone else is. Most of us understand what is more kindly and more compassionate for us. What more can we do? I would suggest giving others a choice of a better option. So I would recommend a search engine and 'how to be kind'.
The tradition teaches that when the mind started to quiet, the heart opens and kindness and compassion naturally comes out. The best practice (for compassion) is to practice the first precept of non-harming, we could make this as a gift to the world. The assurance of safety and harmlessness can be a good thing to offer.
^^^ non-harming or not-hurting is a big thing if we take it to the physical actions, speech and thought level. i try to not hurt somebody physically. while walking on the side-ways of the roads, i try to watch the road to see if by my foot's landing on the road, some ant may not get killed, though most of the time i forget about this thing, but sometimes i remember and then try to walk carefully. it is especially difficult, when it rains, as so many small creatures crawl on the ground, that sometimes my feet lands over them while i walk from say office bus to office, or from home to taking an auto-rickshaw on the main road etc.
but speech is many times harsh and even i say bad words, when i am angry and frustrated.
evil thoughts is very difficult to manage - but when evil thoughts come to my mind, i try to not add on to them, rather try to just let them be.