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Is this considered wrong?
NB1100
Explorer
Hello guys,
I know one overseas monk who has visited me before in the past. The monk wanted to engage some religious activities in my country. His interest was strong and brought up this topic quite often during conversation. But, I do not know him well and our conversation do not seem to work. It's not that he is right or wrong but it just doesn't seem to work. I also do not know much about his teaching.
I feel that I'm not helping him to fulfill his wish/desire to establish a Buddhist center in my country, fear that I'm committing some bad deeds. What would be the best action I need to take? Am I doing something wrong and why?
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Do you think that you're doing something wrong ? And if so why?
Why do you think he needs your help in particular? If you don't know much about what he aims to teach, maybe you should find out more about what he is all about.
Maybe he does have something to offer, something that resonates with you, but you'll have to find out what it is. Is there a language issue? Could an interpreter help you?
Hi @NB1100 - I would be careful to help someone if you're not sure about their teachings or motives. I'd be doing some more research if I were you.
A few years ago I was involved with a Buddhist group who started to make overtures to me that they wanted me to help them get established in my home city. I wasn't entirely comfortable with their teaching methods and some of their philosophies so just smiled and said nothing. I later stopped attending their teachings and as far as I'm aware they haven't found their way down here.
Wishes and desires? Making you feel bad and wrong? Sounds like a dukkha monk center desirer.
You are under no obligations. If you want to help, help. If not don't. If you prefer to spend your resources differently that is the fruit of your work and your choice. He is a beggar and not an entitled franchise holder.
Good teachers are rare. They are always over financed and supported. Support those to the degree you 'desire'.
If he is willing to open a center in a hell realm, where the need is great, send him my way.
It makes me wonder what kinds of stories and rumors circulate among the different Asian monk communities. It sounds like some people think that all they have to do is arrive, and things will magically happen; +poof+ they'll get a center and students, and a free place to stay.
There's a very cautionary tale from a community in Australia that was excited when someone claiming to be a monk or teacher arrived. They set him up with a center somehow, but over the years, he caused them a lot of dukkha, behaving improperly with some of the women followers (while married!). The community went through a painful split, the teacher was exposed, some regional authorities from his tradition were brought in, and he was forced to make a half-hearted apology. A board member of the center went to Dharamsala to research the person, and found out that he wasn't respected, and hadn't done well in his studies. Everyone who knew him warned the visitor not to get involved with him!
This is exactly why the Dalai Lama says to research your teacher, observe, "spy" on your teacher, dig up the gossip, if there is any, he advises. There won't be any, if the teacher has lived according to Buddhist principles. Unfortunately, not everyone can travel to the Himalayan region to do this type of background check.
Proceed with caution, OP. And no, you're not doing anything wrong by hesitating and doubting. On the contrary, you're doing everything right.
Hi @Bunks ,
I am trying to find out but so far the communication seems to be not working quite well. I asked genuine question but he seemed to be not happy with questions I raised, I don't feel comfortable in asking questions.
@Walker
I'm trying to find out more, asking questions, etc.. But he doesn't seem quite happy with that. I do not feel comfortable in asking questions or have doubt about what he said.
@Shoshin
Because I do not help him to organize or establish Buddhist?
Thanks for your reply Dakini.
@Shoshin sorry for the mistyped , I meant Buddhist center. I am on cell phone can't edit the post. Thanks
Trust your inner compass. If it seems like something's not right, then don't ignore that feeling. There are conmen monks in Asia, too. Any monk wanting to set up shop in the West should have the backing and support of his superiors and temple. If not, politely but firmly decline.
I completely agree with @Cinorjer. There are many so called Living Buddha's coming out of China, so many that the Chinese government has set up a register of supposed "real" ones, although I wouldn't trust the Chinese government either. I have learnt, from painful experience, sadly I won't be the last person to be fooled in eagerness to have a teacher and be part of a sangha.
In your position, I would cease all communication immediately. If it is causing you anxiety and worry, it is not a good thing for you to consider becoming involved with.
Block all emails coming in, block all calls and means of communication.
leave him to his own devices.
"If it feels good, do it.
When in doubt - don't."
The above bit of advice can be adapted to, and asked of virtually all and any situation brought into question.
It is difficult to give you solid advice without knowing the full situation but.....If he is not comfortable or happy with the questions you are asking that is a genuine red flag that you should not ignore. It sounds like he has something to hide. Proceed with caution would be my advice and DO NOT do anything you are not comfortable with.
There are many things a community needs to have, and other things that are nice but unnecessary. A government and utilities are necessary. A Buddhist center is nice but not necessary.
I don't feel a strong drive to build a community. I'm happy to find a community and join it. My time and energy are finite, so I prioritize and allocate accordingly. I do not consider it wrong to not contribute toward building things my community needs. I certainly do not consider it wrong to not contribute toward building something my community does not need.
I think if I contribute my energy toward a cause that I am not passionate about, then I am doing that cause a disservice. The cause would be better served if those serving share the passion.
If you are not passionate about helping this monk, you should not cut off communication. You should let him know what you are thinking, so he knows to redirect his recruitment efforts to more fertile fields. "I hope you achieve your goals, but they are not my goals." This is not wrong to do.
Anyone looking to establish such a center should not just accept but expect that someone is going to have a lot of questions. They should answer them honestly and happily, because if they believe in what they are doing, then those answers will come easily and they will be happy to share and talk about their venture. I've never met a person who wasn't thrilled to talk about their plans when they were asking for help or support. The fact that he is not would raise a red flag to me, too. Some times, things are just a miscommunication, but it doesn't seem from what you said @NB1100 that that is the case here. It sounds like he is expecting help and support without providing answers and that's not ok. Perhaps he is expecting blind faith, and in some cultures perhaps that is the norm. But it's not that way everywhere, and one of the number one ways to promise success of your venture is to know your audience. If he cannot even get through to someone he has stayed with to get support, how is he going to run a center??
Approach monks with caution. You never know when one will bite.
Trust your instinct. It is there for a reason