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I don't know if what I expressed above was misunderstood, but just to be clear: what I meant was precisely that it's a shame that nowadays, at least in the tiny corner of Europe where I live, there are many people starving for contact and communication, and few people taking the time to humour them and address those needs.
Unfortunately, people sincerely caring for another, or at least being able to put themselves in their shoes for a moment, are an exception.
People don't hold doors, young people don't give up their sit for the elderly or pregnant women on public transports, one gets pushed passed on shops without hearing "sorry..."
It is radically different from the behaviour I am used to seeing in Argentina.
During a visit home when my son was 6 months-old, I got spoilt rotten by people who helped me with the perambulator up and down the metro stations, gave me the seat on transports, and held doors open for me when I entered a shop.
I will never forget the day we landed back in Zurich.
I was the last to be able to climb into the shuttle bus that took us from the plane to the airport because I was juggling helplessly with my baby and the diaper bag on one hand and the perambulator on the other.
The people on the bus -and the bus was full- simply looked at me impatiently but nobody, absolutely nobody offered to help me.
This is the society where I live.
Welcome to Samsara
??
During my last visit to Sri Lanka on a hot and humid day in Colombo I was aboard one of those old TATA buses noisy and smoke belching. There was a muslim gentleman in his knitted scull cap. A pregnant lady got on board and he yielded his seat. This happened several times during our journey. We got off at the same stop. I made to compliment him for his kindness. He stops me in mid sentence and asks me why I think natural human conduct requires a compliment. Then he says "my home is just across the street would me join me for tea'?
I continued my journey to the immigration office in a much better frame of mind than usual.
Exactly so. Natural, gentle, courteous, kind speech is a base of normal social and psychologically balanced communication. No great skilfullness or attainment. Great story @grackle
Right speech is that which draws out this natural basic balance in others. I have met as an example, an experienced tantric dakini who wore a 'wrathful social mask' that forced people to placate her ... what a naughty dragon ...
Love your story @grackle. It makes me wonder then how we have strayed so far from what should be our nature. It reminds me of my son, who when he was younger would do his homework, and then hide it, never turning it in. He worked harder to receive a negative consequence than to receive the positive one. He worked against himself in an effort to punish rules, teachers and systems that he did not fit in. Perhaps that is a big part of why we have so much rudeness and so on in our world. Perhaps all those people are fighting for negative attention and working against their nature in an effort to punish things in their lives that aren't working for them. They just do not have the tools to figure it out just yet. When we found the right tools to help our son, the change was almost immediate. We stifle ourselves and punish the world as a result.
Self destructive, self defeating or unhelpful behavour is self directed dukkha and ignorance. What happens to those around us? They do not have the benefit of a person moving towards freedom from this selfish behaviour.
Not caring for ourselves, unravelling ourselves is selfish because of the consequences.
Are you at peace? Are you happy? Bodhisattva or Bozo-sattva? Clown practice going well ...?
@karasti. Life moves so much more quickly now. Being born in 1947 my memories are of a more stable time. Definitely not yet speeded up by technology. So perhaps if people today had the time to take time would they know how to use that opportunity?
My impression is that many young people suffer greatly because the art of slowing down is not passed on to them. A key value so nesscessary to maturation seems all but lost. I also in some ways believe and experienced a great deal more patience from my elders than most young folk do today. We had time to fill our toolbox and learn from our mistakes.
Comments
I don't know if what I expressed above was misunderstood, but just to be clear: what I meant was precisely that it's a shame that nowadays, at least in the tiny corner of Europe where I live, there are many people starving for contact and communication, and few people taking the time to humour them and address those needs.
Unfortunately, people sincerely caring for another, or at least being able to put themselves in their shoes for a moment, are an exception.
People don't hold doors, young people don't give up their sit for the elderly or pregnant women on public transports, one gets pushed passed on shops without hearing "sorry..."
It is radically different from the behaviour I am used to seeing in Argentina.
During a visit home when my son was 6 months-old, I got spoilt rotten by people who helped me with the perambulator up and down the metro stations, gave me the seat on transports, and held doors open for me when I entered a shop.
I will never forget the day we landed back in Zurich.
I was the last to be able to climb into the shuttle bus that took us from the plane to the airport because I was juggling helplessly with my baby and the diaper bag on one hand and the perambulator on the other.
The people on the bus -and the bus was full- simply looked at me impatiently but nobody, absolutely nobody offered to help me.
This is the society where I live.
Welcome to Samsara
??
During my last visit to Sri Lanka on a hot and humid day in Colombo I was aboard one of those old TATA buses noisy and smoke belching. There was a muslim gentleman in his knitted scull cap. A pregnant lady got on board and he yielded his seat. This happened several times during our journey. We got off at the same stop. I made to compliment him for his kindness. He stops me in mid sentence and asks me why I think natural human conduct requires a compliment. Then he says "my home is just across the street would me join me for tea'?
I continued my journey to the immigration office in a much better frame of mind than usual.
Tee Hee.
Exactly so. Natural, gentle, courteous, kind speech is a base of normal social and psychologically balanced communication. No great skilfullness or attainment. Great story @grackle
Right speech is that which draws out this natural basic balance in others. I have met as an example, an experienced tantric dakini who wore a 'wrathful social mask' that forced people to placate her ... what a naughty dragon ...
Love your story @grackle. It makes me wonder then how we have strayed so far from what should be our nature. It reminds me of my son, who when he was younger would do his homework, and then hide it, never turning it in. He worked harder to receive a negative consequence than to receive the positive one. He worked against himself in an effort to punish rules, teachers and systems that he did not fit in. Perhaps that is a big part of why we have so much rudeness and so on in our world. Perhaps all those people are fighting for negative attention and working against their nature in an effort to punish things in their lives that aren't working for them. They just do not have the tools to figure it out just yet. When we found the right tools to help our son, the change was almost immediate. We stifle ourselves and punish the world as a result.
Self destructive, self defeating or unhelpful behavour is self directed dukkha and ignorance. What happens to those around us? They do not have the benefit of a person moving towards freedom from this selfish behaviour.
Not caring for ourselves, unravelling ourselves is selfish because of the consequences.
Are you at peace? Are you happy? Bodhisattva or Bozo-sattva? Clown practice going well ...?
@karasti. Life moves so much more quickly now. Being born in 1947 my memories are of a more stable time. Definitely not yet speeded up by technology. So perhaps if people today had the time to take time would they know how to use that opportunity?
My impression is that many young people suffer greatly because the art of slowing down is not passed on to them. A key value so nesscessary to maturation seems all but lost. I also in some ways believe and experienced a great deal more patience from my elders than most young folk do today. We had time to fill our toolbox and learn from our mistakes.