Seeking nembutsu
Kannon
NAMU AMIDA BUTSUAch-To Veteran
Now that I have a stronger grasp of Buddhist basics I am thinking about different concentrations. Of course I want to learn from all. But I want to find one which gives me a visceral experience, something which resonates deep inside of me. I feel like I will be ready for this moment soon, but I need the final push.
A few months ago in therapy I said I felt ready to do a lot of things, but something invisible was holding me back. She said it was my subconscious. After a lot of reflection I know this can only be true. I see my subconscious pain lined up before me.
With a past of mental illness I would like something more grounding than scripture or meditation. I have always been attracted to the devotional practice of pure land. Today was my day off. I watched several YouTube videos on pure land sutras and ideas. I felt very calm and at peace, especially when I listed to someone describe their experience of nembutsu.
I feel like I am ready to take another step in my life. Every few years is benchmarked with another crisis; this time I want to start with a good foundation. I believe a focus on Amida Buddha would help me love and accept everything, like an instrument of sorts. Plus I am relieved at the idea of a practice made specifically for times of "dharmic decline"
I have never much looked into Zen or any other sect (too lazy 
) but I would like to hear your thoughts on a devotional practice. As far as I am aware many here are Zen or Non Affiliated Buddhists
Comments
An affinity for the Pure Land is wondrous. Value this over all the treasures of the world. If you will practice with fidelity and devotion all Dharma doors will open. Plus some of the nicest people you will ever meet follow Pure Land. I have long thought you would find a happy home in devotional practice. Namo Amitahba.
@grackle Thank you I am very excited. The fact that Amida Buddha is a Buddha means he succeeded in his vows and there is already a place for me in a pure land. Focusing on his love helps me love myself and everyone else. It is good to emulate.
Sometimes I just randomly chant his name and it brings me a lot of peace. I can feel something. Similar to when I first started meditating. I think this will revitalize my practice.
@eggsavior. When reborn in the Pure Land it is not a cessation but rather a journey to that realm where is ease rather than difficulty in gaining the deathless. eg Nirvana. The chanting of the name brings peace because in our wandering as sentient beings no matter how long ago the seed was planted. I am truly happy for you.
I feel @grackle is right. If a genuine connection is made, we start to enter a 'pureland' in this very body, in this very life. It is a wonderous jewel but not for everyone.
http://www.thebuddhacenter.org/buddhism/mantras/
Please stay grounded.
Namo Amitabha
A video of Pure Land experiences to boost your faith:
I also find peace and comfort in Pure Land philosophy and practice. A few years ago a friend sent me several books on Buddhism including one called River Of Fire River Of Water by Taitetsu Unno. If you're interested in Pure Land Buddhism I highly recommend this book, it made me a Pure Land Buddhist the way Thich Nhat Hahn's books converted me to Buddhism. I love Pure Land's simplicity, kindness and acceptance. Come as you are, what a great motto. I'm happy that you've found this path to peace and I wish you well in your continued Buddhist practice.
Namu Amida Buddha
Practise it with absolute faith,diligence, and you yourself will come to know,at a very deep level,what actually is Pure Land.Lord Shakyamuni Buddha had told us not to just take His words blindly, but to verify the teachings with our experience.The only way to validate or invalidate Pure Land is to practise it.Ignore others who tell you that Pure Land is false,for they themselves have never practised it.They have not tasted it.