Buddhist tools tide to mental recovery
Jeffrey
Veteran
I just had an idea that in my 15 years with mental illness on antipsychotics which regulate and dampen thought I guess. And in that time I have been a devout Buddhist.
But I wonder if I am having a hard time relating to other thought patterns than just sitting or daily awareness. My daily awareness is pretty dull but my sitting I can get a relief from trying to thread the needle so tough.
So it seems non-Buddhist patterns like materialism or western religion something derails me and then I have to just go back to some absorption. But I wonder if I can make brain connections to understanding thoughts that are not part of my Buddhist 'routine' of just kind of going to equinimity but in a low state with not much insight because of my meds and illness. It's a low state but I can get some body comfort from absorption. Is absorption a cop out? Should I alternate absorption (not trying to figure out) with trying to have more insight?
Also to add to that is I don't have many friends in the last 10 years so it's hard to recover as when I get more ill I can't even drive anywhere and be a part of a sangha in my city. I know I'm asking to much to have it all going somewhere with my ideas.
Comments
Personally @Jeffrey I don't bother with absorption (I've been on anti-psychotics for 15 years this year as well), I'm more into resting in awareness.
https://buddhismnow.com/2012/03/08/trust-in-your-awareness-by-ajahn-sumedho/
I'm more of the school that holds that practicing mindfulness will lead to peace, at least, if not enlightenment itself. Becoming more aware of our own internal workings is hugely beneficial and a very important step on the path. Awareness of the breath and the body leads to awareness of the mind.
That said, it's different courses for different folks. But sometimes it is necessary to shake things up. If you've practiced absorption for a long period without significant evolution in your mental state, then probably it's time to try other avenues.
As the Tibetan Buddhist nine point meditation on death states, our lives are short and there is no time like the present to practice the dharma. If one method does not yield results, it probably isn't addressing your unique internal blockages and one should try another method.
Thanks @Jeffrey I was concerned about some of your posts lately which seemed a little strange (I know strange - it is one of my hobbies)
However it also seems you can self diagnose and realise where an issue may be. For social development I would look for grounded possibilities outside the spiritual arena, where the weirdos tend to congregate (mentioning no names accept my own).
You can practice normality through social media, video conferencing, browsing for goods, tourism, volunteering, working in a low expectation/simple employment, starting a crowd funding project for crazy cructaceans
etc ... I dunno what do normal people do? Where do they hang out? Not sure about that one ... 
http://m.wikihow.com/Be-Normal
Good luck. Will be following this thread carefully for any tips from our legendary saner members ...
@Jeffrey also having a rough time with mental illness and practice. Metta to you
I recently picked up a Dharma book I love a lot. Has everything I've needed from separate books in one. The Dharma will see us through
Thanks @Kerome for the meditation. I love it. Om mani padme hum