Right Listening
person
Don't believe everything you thinkThe liminal space Veteran
Ajahn Brahm gave a talk on what he called Right Listening. It's similar to the idea of Right Speech but for the other side of a conversation. The basic idea I got out of it was to listen to another in good faith, to give the speaker the benefit of the doubt in their intentions and do your best to truly understand their meaning.
I relate it to much of the political discussion these days, or as @lobster pointed out about the virtue of being offended. I think of gotcha style interviews where the interviewer takes whatever the interviewee says and attempts to twist it into the most unfavorable straw man version of what the individual meant, "So what you're saying is... (something that you're not actually saying)". Or G.W Bush's quote "Too often, we judge other groups by their worst examples - while judging ourselves by our best intentions."
There's the idea of the opposite of a straw man argument, known as steel man. Listen to the other with right listening so you can hear and understand their point of view to the degree that you can effectively make their own point for them.
Comments
It's also having the gift of hearing what they DON'T say; knowing how to read 'between the lines'.
By the way; the "Steel Man" discourse is also utilised in Relationship Counselling and is known as "The Speaker/Listener Technique". It's been used in counselling fo at least 20 years now.
I know; I was trained in it myself, in the late 90's....
I like that framing for interpersonal contexts. We probably shouldn't be steel manning our partners or children so we can defeat them in debates.
Very good. Active listening is an art that is not practiced enough. It's not as easy to do as we think.
It is a practiced independence. Being outside of ones little bubble and entering the reality bubbles of others. Great post from @person.
Increase in listening capacity. I heard it on the Dharma grapevine.
Bonus track:
...means with both an open mind & heart
Can we add right heart and right listening to the Noble tenfold path?
Where does ‘right on!’ feature?
I have found by employing right listening that sometimes I find that I might see things differently and change my mind....
???
In pursuit of silence is worth viewing
https://vimeo.com/ondemand/pursuitofsilence
It will provide insight into the movement of right speech/sound into right silence ...
Wacthed the video and agree with Ajahn.
As a side note, right listening is also part of right speech because you have to listen to how it sounds in your head, as you say it, and how others respond to it.
Yes; calculating the use of Right Speech is the sign of a good Diplomatic mind.
On that, I couldn't possibly comment....
A thread has been started on lojong, worth pursuing ...
http://www.lotsawahouse.org/tibetan-masters/geshe-chekhawa-yeshe-dorje/seven-points-mind-training
Also consider the Buddhist version of Ironman teachings, which involves stark listening ...
http://www.lotsawahouse.org/tibetan-masters/geshe-langri-thangpa/eight-verses-training-mind
This capacity @Kundo mentions, to have our thinking/being/attitude changed by the very outer expressions of our difficult/precious inner being, is most valuable ...
Dharma - don't leave home without it ...