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I find myself angry at someone who does not deserve it. To understand why I am angry, some explanation is in order.
When I was very young, my father walked out on my mother and myself. Later, my mother found me too burdensome, so she shipped me off to my father. After a year, he couldn't deal with me and sent me back to my mother. So I'm very sensitive to the whole idea of abandonment.
The relative in question is my step-mother. I've barely spoken to her in two years, and the fault is not hers but rather a reflexive anger on my part. After my father's death, she moved to another city to take care of her ailing mother. Obviously, she did nothing wrong. But since she was my last relative in this city, I felt abandoned yet again.
I realize how selfish and petty all of this sounds. But that fear of abandonment, and the resultant anger is primal and reflexive for me. I'm not sure how to shake it and resume communication with my stepmother.