This is something I have encountered of late. A while ago in meditation I went through a sequence of deep states, first surrender, then a wanting to be helpful, then a willingness to be used. This led to a bleeding away of energy. Later I came to the conclusion that one should not cooperate in being used, I ended up blaming myself for this. Since then I have noticed a tendency to dwell on my mistakes, a tendency towards being negative about myself.
It comes, it goes. It’s only meditation, these are thoughts and feelings that are like mirages. Nothing more need be said, as long as you are happy that you have learned the lesson. What have I learnt from this? Blaming oneself is another way of heaping on yourself more trouble, you just accumulate negativity that way. It is better to stay positive, to do what you can to fix things after you notice an error.