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For interest and possible helpful response.

I feel that I have become stuck in despondency, and I’m looking for helpful advice.

Years ago, I composed a document that, I am sure, would be of interest (and possibly, helpful in some way) to students or practitioners of Buddhism (or whatever one may call a spiritual path). Recently, I updated it slightly, with the intention of submitting it as a posting, but this isn’t possible, because the size of a posting in New Buddhist is limited. So, the next best thing is to provide a link to it, for those that may like to read it.

I do hope that some readers will indeed find it helpful. However, I am also hoping that there will be enough feedback, from readers, to be helpful to me also. In the document (a pdf), a few problems are mentioned that I am hoping readers will be able to help with by commenting. What questions can be found in the document are merely implied — not explicitly asked.

Since my freedom to spend time at the computer is very limited (despite my being eighty-seven years of age), I don’t feel able to do much in the way of responding to comments, so I ask for your understanding. If any responses are called for after this is posted, I shall do what I can.

The link is pasted below (it may work simply by clicking it, or it may need to be pasted into your browser). It should be possible for others to download it (click the download arrow at the top right of the window).


  • JeroenJeroen Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter Netherlands Veteran
    edited November 2020

    I read the document, it seemed much like an account of your personal spiritual journey, illustrated by memories selected from a whole lifetime. It is interesting what happens when one gets the attention of a real mentor, one who has some knowledge beyond the ordinary.

    The sensation of having gone “too far, too quickly” in a spiritual sense is something that is not strange to me. I once threw caution to the winds as well, with unpredictable results. But I’m afraid I don’t have any answers or remedy.

  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    edited November 2020

    I feel that I have become stuck in despondency, and I’m looking for helpful advice.

    I have become stuck

    in despondency

    Oh. What advice would you give? Why on earth share what has been largely useless?

    [I can yawn if you want]

    But I’m afraid


    Here is a list of things I am afraid of:

    • me
    • dreams
    • flying fish
    • being boiled alive or dead [I am a wer lobster]
    • being born as a miscarriage
    • not being prayed for, helped or generally having all my needs answered
    • thinking, not thinking and creating uni-verses
    • poetry, jokes, opinions

    No question about it. I am hopeless.


    Journaling is personally very useful. Our interpretations of what has happened or is important, less so. You need to unravel what meaning and question is unanswered.

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