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Close call on life today
paska
Explorer
As a Buddhist and someone tried to kill me as I took my turn safely at a bad intersection and had time except I didn’t a speeding truck tried to plow my car . Just by luck I speed to get out his way but he didn’t even try to stop he speed up. What a ahole. I wasn’t scare but in shock because all I could think about my parents are on vacation and me the cats and babysitting the dog what would happen to them if I died.
How as a Buddhist do I forgive this guy and see it’s just as karma influencer . Yes I know the result I took life and gave life in a past life basically equal them out the result a close call.
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My son was killed on his bicycle by a distracted driver speeding thru a red light less than two years ago. I've never thought about it in terms of that individual or forgiveness.
We built a world with speeding cars, full of impatience and selfishness where the most important things are the economy and efficiency. This outcome feels both impossible and inevitable.
That driver is meaningless. Tell the people who matter to you that you love them more often. Be where you are, and try to value the moments you have. That's all anyone can do.
Now is not the time to worry about forgiving him.
As @Linc said:
That driver is meaningless. Tell the people who matter to you that you love them more often. Be where you are, and try to value the moments you have. That's all anyone can do.
(I think that was Brian....)
Its a good exercise in letting go… if you accuse this man of wronging you, of needing forgiveness for nearly hitting your car, then you are not letting him go. It’s better to just relax, say ‘phew that was a close call’ and focus on getting on with life.
"Loving the world to me, is no chore;
My big problem's the guy next door!"
Practising Metta and distributing our love, kindness, compassion and equanimity to all and sundry is easy-peasy Japaneesy... but pick one individual, and it's as hard as a giant jaw-breaker candy ball.
What's more, our sense of righteous indignation, and desire for justice, gets in the way, like some 7-foot high and three-foot wide guy directly in front of us at the ball game, whom, no matter how hard we try, we just can't see round.
Me? I love everyone, and can wrap my arms around the world, from Ghengis Khan, to Hitler, to Saint Francis of Assisi to HHDL... But I am still bugged by the fucktard who stole my tortoises 16 years ago, in France, and I know who it was too, damnit...
Time I dropped this, right?
Exactly.
You get your sangha to take the hit
… wait … think I may have gone wrong again …
A little story about letting go
I'd like to thank you very much for your question. Preparing to answer your question, revealed to me the answer to an intractable question of my own. Funny how that worked.
How do you NOT forgive this guy? Who is he? As a matter of fact, who are you? What's the difference between you and him? Which one of you is real?
If none of that helps...When did he hit you? When do you live your life? Or, alternatively, you could become aware of your in-breath - and if you remain lucky, your out-breath.
Linc:
Having gone through the crippling of a son due to someone else's action and losing a son to a speeding driver in heavy rain, I can say that, while you need not forget, in order to free yourself, you must forgive. your clinging to a desire to revenge or avenge, your anger only brings more suffering to you. Your feelings of retribution or of forgiveness do not affect the other person(s), only you.
There are no word for the pain of losing a child. I hope the driver who struck your son was found.
as for Paska's delema, life is too short to dwell on those moments. In my car, my van, on my bicycle, ebike or motorcycle, I have had to contend with many careless, angry, selfish or vindictive drivers. You can not control them, but you can control yourself, determine to not allow their actions to bring your life state down. recenter upon you, upon your choice to "rise above" their anger and animal states, not let their actions pull you into their realm. Forgiveness entails, in part, determining not to live in that condition of life. A Buddha is likened in compassion and wisdom to a great lion. The lion is not phased by the rantings of the hyena. Be the lion.