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Elder talk about my intentions with Buddhism

I am talking to a tibetan buddhist elder on mental health and Buddhist practice. I am supposed to trust people who care about me even my mental health team and my parents who me did no harm but could’ve tried harder for me. Even trust the world is good not totally evil. I was asked my intentions for Buddhism: I like to be a nun if possible and or be a teacher but truthfully I need asscess to medication and have mental illness let alone my unofficial guardians my parents may never go with it though lately they are liberal with me useing my money on Buddhist education with tibetan Buddhism. But I also have pets to think about if I become ordained and I have university tuition to pay right now it’s deferred.


  • JeroenJeroen Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter Netherlands Veteran

    I have to say I am curious about his answers to your questions. Your case is probably rather rare and unusual, so it’s really difficult to predict.

  • paskapaska Explorer

    Well I had talked to director of Nalanda and because of various circumstances I was signed up for online programs I had to quite because I wrecked my car it’s fixed I have a job but I need to take discovery of Buddhism before I can take basic program. Now Nalanda offers basic program in person and online but it’s not flexible. In person I have to stay at a women’s monstary but I have to be ordained or stay in town . I don’t speak French and I be on student visa I don’t know if I can work because of student visa and lack French. I have a vacation planned next year in fall and I wanna go but the program starts in January. Theirs no way I be done with my program in time to do it. Plus I was told the program I am in is advanced in the sense that it’s overwhelming and hard.

    I also have pets to give up one is on a special diet I don’t know if I can give her to no kill shelter. And I am on meds for depression and bpd symptoms and minor psychosis. Sometimes I get disoriented on off medications on judgment calls I get angry and act on it. I am working hard on it. I don’t know if a nunnery would accept me. Plus I have to go to India as a beginner nun. Not only that my parents are protective and unofficial guardians I don’t know if they would allow it. How would I get meds at a monstary in a foreign country. I plan to work hard on this so i can have a practice and teach basic program at my area no fpmt center in area.

    Plus I might be in trouble for something stupid in near future.

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    Quit trying to juggle so much. decide what really matters and leave the rest aside for now. The more you have to contend with, the less you will accomplish. It sounds as if even getting out of bed is an achievement, sometimes, and sometimes it is. Lower your expectations, and be kinder to yourself. You can't expect others to give you a break, if you won't give yourself one.

  • paskapaska Explorer

    Ok Frederica but we will see

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    Federica. It's FE-derica. How can you ever hope to tame the Mind when it's hard for you to spell a word that is even written in front of you?! See? That's what I mean. Deal with the basics and work at ground level, first. work your way up slowly. Don't try to touch the top of the ladder, without climbing the lower rungs first.
    You're giving yourself too much to focus on, and it's still on the horizon. Walk this path closest to you, to get there, bit by bit...

  • paskapaska Explorer

    Lol I do apologize don’t hold against me . My spell check must be off

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited May 2021

    It has nothing to do with spell check. My name is written by my comments, and it's the 2nd or third time you have done it. It has everything to do with paying attention to detail.
    You are so wound up in your predicament, your focus is off the planet. You need to remain grounded. You need to focus and be mindful, of what is in the NOW.

    I really don't care about my name spelling, actually; many people get it wrong, and on Facebook, people assume I am male, so I get a lot of incorrect things said to me... honestly, it's not really about the name..
    But you are unfocused and your attention is all over the place...
    How is your meditation? How calm are you and for how long? How is your Monkey Mind?

    You have so many things that seem to worry you and play on your mind...

    What REALLY matters?
    Right now?
    Because Life isn't about yesterday, today, tomorrow, next week, next month.
    Life is just a long series of "Now"s... one after the other... Are you in 'now,' in all of them?
    No, neither am I, but it's about practice.... Mindfulness.
    Skilful attention.


  • paskapaska Explorer

    Goodbye I am taking a leave of absence see you in a few. As most here are beginners to begin with I feel I need a teacher advice for now a actual teacher. Plus my behavior isn’t welcomed apparently. I do apologize I don’t mean harm to harassment on name misspelled honest accidents but I will try harder on name spelling when I comeback if I am welcomed back. As such I will have gotten deeper in my education in Tibetan Buddhism a legitimate school. I wish all well even the suffering ones.

  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran

    You’re welcome back any time @paska.
    Good luck on your journey

  • FoibleFullFoibleFull Canada Veteran
    edited May 2021

    You may not read this, Paska, if you are taking a leave of absence.
    But in the absence of a live, local teacher, I recommend you read Pema Chodron, or download mp3 lectures by her. She is very helpful for Western minds trying to understand how to BE a Buddhist.

    Since Buddhism is an INTERNAL process, it does not matter what the external circumstances are. Wherever you are, whatever your circumstances are, this is the right place and time for YOU to work on your Buddhist practices. And those who are assigned the role of teaching, by their own teacher, generally have decades of training under their belt. Really .. teaching before we are ready to teach, only sets us back on our path. So this is not a decision we make for ourselves, but one that our teacher gives us. Few are assigned the task of teaching, so don't set that as a goal.

    Becoming ordained in Tibetan Buddhism is considered a life-long vow, with very negative karmas if we break them and stop becoming a monk or nun. More than that, the Tibetan Buddhist nuns take over 200 vows for their everyday actions, that they have to remember and keep. And most Lamas will not ordain someone until that person has been their in-person student for at least 5 years .. since the teacher will also acquire negative karma if they prematurely ordain someone who ends up renouncing the robes.

    So start where you are. As YOU become ready, what you need WILL come to you. Don't worry about the future. All we have is THIS moment anyway ... a state of constant change. Buddhists work on where we are in THIS moment, not in where we hope to be in the future.

    Keep on meditating, for that is where our wisdom comes from. And do the compassion exercises (Tong Len is the primary tool) for that is how we generate compassion within. And make daily offerings to your home altar, for that is how we create an attitude of internal generosity and non-attachment for worldly things. And throughout your day, be aware of potential "random acts of kindness" that you can do for others. The less we focus on ourselves and the more we focus on the well-being of others, the more we develop compassion, and the happier (according to psychology) we become.

    And trust that your path WILL come to you, exactly AS you need it to.

  • JeroenJeroen Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter Netherlands Veteran

    Sending you blessings and good fortune @paska
    Be well, be kind.

  • Shoshin1Shoshin1 Veteran



  • LionduckLionduck Veteran

    Intentions with Buddhism:
    Finding my truth
    Enriching my compassion
    Touching mind and hearts
    Being true to myself
    I suppose you mean what path you may take on your journey. There are many paths you may take. If one ends, there is another.
    Priest/Nun, Serving the Sangha, Serving the community, Serving others and yourself...
    Clearing your mind does not mean being emty of thoughts for thoughts rumble through your mind as so many chattering monkeys or flitting by as so many chittering birds.
    Allow them to come and go as your greater mind emerges, impervious to the chattering moneys and chittering birds.
    Thus your intent is your goal while your means is your path.

    Peace to all.

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