This morning at 6.30 I woke up and had the sensation of becoming awake while a dream was continuing around me. It was unusual because I could see that the dream was coming from all around, in a wide spacious sense. It didn’t seem to be coming from my body or my energy. I think it was one of those dreams that has a special meaning.
The dream went as follows: I had a job in a city records department, working with computers. I found evidence of suspicious activity, a hack attack on the city library. I passed this on to the city police. The case was eventually resolved. Then there was a meeting, where bonusses and recognition for the case were handed out, and the police officer who handled the case got 211.000 euros, and I got a measly 44.000 euro finders fee. In the dream I got jealous and angry, as if my work had not been fairly rewarded, because without me they would not have had a case.
Thinking about it this morning, it seems to me that there was an expectation of high reward, and that it seemed to me that there was something unjust. There was an attachment, an expectation of reward for work done. This paralleled something that happened to me earlier in life, where project bonusses at work were very miserly.
In reality life does not owe you a fair deal. It is a good idea to let go of this expectation, to recognise that other people are going to do what their sense of greed or fairness is going to motivate them to. They are also caught up in samsara, deserving of compassion.