I was talking to one of my cousins, the son of one of the uncles who died, and the conversation turned to what would happen after death. I expressed my opinion that there was probably “something” afterwards, but if there wasn’t then to cease to be would be no great burden.
Later though I was considering, and I was wondering about the ‘will to exist’ and I was examining within, and I didn’t notice any such thing. It surprised me, because in the past I always had quite a strong desire to exist, and for that to seemingly vanish without trace into a kind of deep relaxation seemed to me unexpected.
Of course this too is something that is within the mind, but it is quite primal. Without it I feel a bit lost… it’s an odd feeling.