I’m noticing some definite decompression in these few days of not doing spiritual activity. It’s like there is a clearing of the decks in the higher spheres of the self. As if some part of me was put under pressure by the intense focus on spiritual beliefs, and now that I’ve stopped there is a relief and a reorganisation.
I was reading ‘I Am That’ by Nisargadatta Maharaj, and in that he recommends some basic techniques such as focussing on the sense of being. He says, do this and believe in my words and things will start to happen within. But what I felt on New Years Eve was a sense of turning away, almost revulsion and nausea.
It seems I do value these intense feelings, as a kind of form of advice from the beyond. So I have two options: continuing the decompression and returning to what for me is the natural state, or resuming spiritual activity which was becoming almost a kind of conditioning. For a few days more I’ll do the first, in any case.