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Is it important for one to fit in and conform with the norm? I am told this by many of my peers noticing my lack of intrest with fitting in and making lots of friends. I have maybe 4 or 5 friends that I talk to either at school or from home. I seem to find it difficult to fit in and remain an individual at the same time. "To fit in, you must take off the silly hat, comb the mop of hair, wear clothes that match, stop walking around with striped pants, put away the sword, and stop staying up till 6 in the morning just to make faces and laugh at the paperboy.
To do all of this, I might have a sliver's chance of fitting in but at the same time would be sacrificing my individuality and the things that make me who I am. I am not convinced of reasons for fitting in as are most of my friends (which is probably the reason why they are my friends). Many of my peers had this obsession going in that they needed to fit in. And it always keeps me thinking of the poster in my Theology class saying "Don't join the crowd" with an enlarged picture of the Nazis hailing their Fuhrer Hitler.
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MOM - Why don't we get you some of these kinds of pants...(holding up those really baggy jeans)
ME - I don't think those are me.
MOM - Well, these will make you fit in!
ME - But I don't want to fit in with the cool people
MOM - Well, appearence is everything!
I was so mad so when we went home I started to meditate. Meditation really cleared my head. Wait...what were we talking about?
24.6 KNIGHTOFBUDDHA!!!!
I don't know if they still show it in schools, but there is a movie called "The Wave" which is based on a true story of a teacher who showed his students just how easy it would be to join in on something like nazism. Anyone see it?
And no Zen I haven't seen that movie..it sounds interesting though, I might check it out.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0440993717/qid=1120659210/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_ur_1/102-5769915-0276163?v=glance&s=books&n=507846
Thank You Zen!
I guess I'll have to correct my previous post and make a disclaimer that:
"The information found therein may not be entirely true, and no fault goes to the poster, as it was an editorial and not a factual story referencing any given current event. Any resemblence to a person living or deceased is purely coincidental. Any complaints may be sent to Brian as he is the current Administrator/Moderator of this forum."
Anita - you are so right! When I was in high school, I was one of the popular girls, and at the time it was SO important for me to fit in and be popular. Looking back, I now see that I wasted way too much time worrying about what others thought of me, and now those people are not even in my life (with the exception of my best friend). I am glad that I am much smarter now and it is more important to me to be myself rather than to please everyone else. And I have found that my friends now are so much better because they know the real me and love me for who I am!
michael
Oh my god (or lack there of)! I think I saw that once. Freaky.
I second that. I was a total misfit before graduating high school. I was horribly picked on. Kids stuck gum in my ears, tore up photos I'd brought to school - anything they could do, they did. One girl tried to make high school hell for me by spreading very malicious lies about me. She even told people that I had outed a gay friend of mine! There were times when I seriously thought about suicide because I didn't think I could stand it any longer.
I love college, though. I've found so many people who care about things that I thought no one else did. Things that once made me a nerd, now make me (dare I say) popular. I'm still a bit weird, but my current friends know that's just who I am and I guess they like me for it because they've stuck around this long
Nope - you are not alone! Count me in on your group as well!! My husband is not vegetarian, but otherwise, he could be in the group with us. Although, the meat he does eat is "all natural" and only comes from organic farms that treat the animals well, up until the point the kill them anyways! LOL. And my daughter's name is even Emma!
Lol, I'll stop now.
It's pretty hard for me occasionally--I go to the top ranked school in my state, so whenever people ask where I go to school, I have to act like everything there is great, even though someone might be getting on my case. Same old stereotypical high schoolers, just maybe a bit more motivated, I guess. Even though we have high SAT scores (still need to take that), we all go through the same stuff. Which I'll be glad to get away from in 2007.
It'll be interesting if someone starts telling people what religion I am...
The more you learn about the food we eat the scarier it is.
Well, I am not a vegetarian and neither is my daughter, but I do not allow my daughter to eat much in the way of sweets. Once in a great while, we may indulge in an ice cream but very rarely. I don't allow Jennifer to have soda (pop) or any sort of carbonated beverages. As for candy, again, very rarely. Because of this, Jennifer has come to prefer fruits over most candy. She will reach for the raisins instead of the donut if she has a choice. As a child, I was not allowed much in the way of sweets or candy and I don't miss it at all. I think that because I was brought up that way, that is the reason why I don't really care for sweets that much as an adult.
Adiana
Emmak - Let's see...I am trying to figure out how to explain Attachment Parenting. Instead of me trying to explain it, here is a small paragraph from one of my favorite websites:
"An Attahcment Parent is defined by how she interacts with her child. Does she make a long-term commitment to spending as much time with her children as she possibly can? Does she include her children in every appropriate aspect of her life? Are her children an integral part of her life, rather than an inconvenience that must be quickly taught to comply? Does she respect the individuality, feelings, and thoughts of her children? Is she in tune with her children's needs and does she seek to meet those needs as a primary priority? Does she interact with her children in such a way that an ever-deepening bond is developed, rather than polarizing the respective positions of power between her and the children? Does she seek to be an emotional coach or is she a policeman?
An AP parent is one who wholeheartedly believes that children are inherently good and that by fostering an atmosphere of complete trust and intimacy, a bond is created that provides those children with the foundation and security to become their best selves."
Basically, if I could sum it up, I would say that it is a way that you interact with your children to create a very strong bond with them rahter than make them feel as if they are an "inconvienence". For example, we cosleep. Our daughter has slept in our bed from the day we brougt her home. Sticking her in a crib in another room separate from us felt very wrong. We didn't want her to be afraid when she woke up all alone. Sure she kicks us every now and then and can be a bed hog, but it sure is a good feeling when she wakes up and sees us next to her and give us big hugs and goes back to sleep. So a lot of people criticize us for that and tell us how wrong it is. We just ignore them.
Does that help explain Attachment Parenting? A lot of people follow AP without even knowing they are doing it.
I could have sworn we were in the 21st century...
Michael
Had this said "he," would you have made the same assertion?
I didn't read it as 'only' being a she.... the author was keeping grammatically correct by using a singular pronoun to replace a singluar antecedent (parent). No where is it written that 'he' is the default.
Keep in mind I only pasted a small paragraph from the website where I took that quote. If you were to see her entire website, you would see that she talks about both parents, not just "she" as being the only parent.
In a society where "maternal bond" is still accepted as having more validity than a "fraternal bond", "deadbeat dads" being thrown around like it's the "norm", fathers being reduced to nothing more than a "wallet" for their children, "people bearing harm to children" always being identified as a "him", etc. - yes, I think we need to be careful of pronouns like this.
Especially in regards to children, child-rearing and family - yeah, I think it's important to make things equal and label them correctly. We're not talking about laws or society or technology - we're talking about an issue that involves children - a mother and a father. No need to keep nurturing the norm that maternal bonds are the only ones out there.
Just like if I were discussing "equal rights for women" - "he" shouldn't be the generally accepted pronoun. If we're discussing rights for "humans" - yes, "he" or "she" could be used interchangebly.
Just my opinion - we know what opinions are like
Michael
I was only making reference to what I had read.
Michael
Michael
It's all good, YogaMama. It's all good.
Michael
We have never had Bridie in bed with us, although I dearly wanted to, because Ross believes it is better not to. I can see both sides, but I hated putting my small girl in her own cot. I used to think she was lonely:(
http://www.kellymom.com/
In Germany this book is a requiered reading in school - believe it or not :smilec:
I guess it shows how much we Germans still suffer from our cruel past...
ANYWAY. I'm kinda going through the same situation. I'd say just lie low for a bit, depending on your age--if you're almost through with high school, wait until you're financially independent (mid-college-ish?). If you're below that age... :sadc: You'd probably just be best off keeping it to yourself.