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I mean, shit, maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so.
Duuude!! EeenUFF! You were definitely wrong to recommend pot and shrooms to someone who is suicidal. Please stop arguing that you were right. Ignorance and arrogance are a deadly duo.
You should not recommend intoxicants to someone who is feeling suicidal. Everyone reacts differently to these substances.
Also, mushrooms are very powerful and must be respected. In the correct setting and mindset they can make for a very positive experience, but a bad setting and mindset can result in very bad things. Eating mushrooms when feeling suicidal is one of the worst ideas i've ever heard.
Starfishh...there is hope. This world is a messed up place but there are people who do love you, and there are people who will love you if you only give them a chance. Find solace in loved ones. Talk to someone that you trust, if you can muster the courage to do so.
I'm concerned about coming on to a public forum, accessible by impressionable youngsters, and presenting drug use as a good thing. It's not. This behavior is harmful!!! to the max.
Scolding, man, this tone is mild compared to the sharp reality awaiting anybody who chooses to follow the path of drug use/abuse. If my sharp tone in any way helps somebody reading these posts get a clear idea of what's in store for them by choosing this behavior, then I will use this tone joyfully and honestly.
If you use/abuse drugs you're setting yourself up for a really f..ked-up life, that's not imaginary. You're choosing to jump into a s..t-hole up to your neck with a guy that comes along every so often to tell you it's time to stand on your head!! (an old not funny joke)
I'm not good at making pleasing utterances toward harmfulness. I've vowed to end it and may do so with a very sharp sword, I'm not passive.
Drugs are like anything else. They can be used responsibly, irresponsibly, safely, unsafely, beneficially or detrimentally. It is very important to know the substance being used, as well as oneself, before using a substance. It's also important to be in the proper environment, not do anything dangerous, and know when to quit.
One could certainly make the argument that a drug-free life is better than a life with responsible drug use, but you sound like a DARE robot. "Impressionable youngsters" don't tend to respond well to mindless, one-sided hyperbole and propaganda. If you really care about keeping kids from the harmful effects of drugs, educate yourself and learn how to make a balanced argument.
This isn't really the appropriate place to be discussing these matters, but there is scientific research showing certain benefits to certain things under the right conditions. However, this is a thread with an individual contemplating suicide, who hasn't even come back to check the thread, btw. His/her last activity is showing as the same time as the thread was posted. No medical recommendations should be made in this medium and starrfish should seek help from a mental health professional. We should be offering moral support and perhaps sharing our own experiences and the benefits we've received from buddhism (as a lot of us have), but we should not be making self-medication recommendations.
Also, there is a post on the first page that was far worse than anything else on this thread. It is being reported. Please, never encourage a suicidal person to go through with the act and certainly don't give them practical advice on how to do so. And if you see a post like that, please report it.
This isn't really the appropriate place to be discussing these matters, but there is scientific research showing certain benefits to certain things under the right conditions. However, this is a thread with an individual contemplating suicide, who hasn't even come back to check the thread, btw. His/her last activity is showing as the same time as the thread was posted. No medical recommendations should be made in this medium and starrfish should seek help from a mental health professional. We should be offering moral support and perhaps sharing our own experiences and the benefits we've received from buddhism (as a lot of us have), but we should not be making self-medication recommendations.
Also, there is a post on the first page that was far worse than anything else on this thread. It is being reported. Please, never encourage a suicidal person to go through with the act and certainly don't give them practical advice on how to do so. And if you see a post like that, please report it.
Thank you.
I've been waiting for starfishh to come back. I have some personal experience with losing my father to suicide in 1981 (which was the catalyst for me to embrace Buddhism in 1982).
I'm also recovering from PTSD, and last year in the middle of deep depression, nightmares and panic attacks I came close to ending my life myself. That's after many years of Buddhist meditation background.
I work in the mental health field too.
We have to take care and this board needs a policy of intervention toward posters who express suicidal ideation. Just sayin'.
Drugs are like anything else. They can be used responsibly, irresponsibly, safely, unsafely, beneficially or detrimentally. It is very important to know the substance being used, as well as oneself, before using a substance. It's also important to be in the proper environment, not do anything dangerous, and know when to quit.
One could certainly make the argument that a drug-free life is better than a life with responsible drug use, but you sound like a DARE robot. "Impressionable youngsters" don't tend to respond well to mindless, one-sided hyperbole and propaganda. If you really care about keeping kids from the harmful effects of drugs, educate yourself and learn how to make a balanced argument.
Keep drivel like this to yourself. It has no place here.
It was tongue and cheek but the message is serious: if you're going to kill yourself, you need to do it right. I have seen first-hand the aftermath of failed suicide attempts and it is not pretty.
Hey, good job, federica. You can quote people on here. That's quite a skill. Have a star: ★
Yes, I made a posting error.
But thanks to Lincoln for addressing the matter directly.
Further comment on the matter - or the member - is now superfluous.
You just excluded someone who needed the help of buddhism most!
Is this board for people who have little to learn or much to learn?
The Buddha told us to not consort with fools.
Anyone who refuses logical discussion, and attempts to de-rail the forum by use of extremely inappropriate posts, profane, obscene and generally offensive comments - is a fool.
Attempts to teach, failed.
exclusion therefore, was the only option.
Starfish I have lived like that for years,and I did make a attempt to stop it all but the ambulance staff "started me up again".After this happened a friend of mine told me;there are a few things in your life that make you "walk in circles",if you can find out what these things are you can "arm yourself against them".I hope you understand what I mean.I still have difficult days but I don`t walk around with the feeling,that I don`t care what happens to me,anymore.You are still young,your surroundings can be very cruel at that age but please believe me when I say:"most people find their place in life and over a few years you`ll think:I`m glad I didn`t do anything "stupid".Believe me when I say I know how it is.If your depressed long enough you can even "destroy-think" the nice things in life.I hope you can "break the circle".
I was really at rock bottem and I came out of it.Surround yourself as much as you can with the people\things you love\like,and try to talk about it,but only with people you 100% trust.
I wish you all the best:Eric.
Brigid thank you for your kind words.The people around me always say that I`m good at helping people but can`t help myself.That has been very true(and still is for a big part),only the last few years I have been able to "help" myself a little bit.I just hope Starfish gives this site and him-\herself a chance.When your that young your hormones are raging,and teenagers can be very cruel,very very cruel.
Starfish you are allways welcome to ask me anything,please don`t do anything stupid.(There are people you will hurt very much too !!!).There are a lot of very kind people on this forum,just give it a try.I wish you all the best,greetings from Eric.
P.S.:There are 6.7 billion people on this world,most of them WILL find their place in life and if you give it a chance SO WILL YOU !!!
i think after all of the replies in this thread, starfishh will feel very assured in changing his mind. but just to add one more thing!
starfishh, if you happen to feel like you know there is hope but don't know where to start to try to reach it, i suggest you learn a musical instrument! life is good when you make music.
Hi, sorry I haven't replied in a long time... I didn't mean to make anyone worry!:(
Thank you to everyone who had kind responses... I appreciate it. some weren't exactly very encouraging, but that's okay
Mostly, I just feel like I'm under a lot of pressure, I'm constantly stressed out and worried... I'm on anxiety medication, but I'm not going for counselling at the moment, I didn't find it very helpful in the past...
My life has just been so messed up so far, that I don't know how to cope with everything... the most basic things stress me out. Maybe it's because I'm depressed, but it just seems like I'm that kind of girl who will never be happy. I'm completely messed up... and I seem to just end up accidentally hurting other people... so sometimes suicide does seem like the best option, but don't worry, I'm not going to do it... I just don't know how to stop thinking about it...
I've been feeling suicidal for a while now. I'm 17, and I'm amazed I made it this far. When I was about 9 or ten years old I made a promise to myself that if things got any worse, I would kill myself. I never had the guts to do it though.
Now I keep thinking about suicide every day. It's not really for any reason; I just feel tired, like I could sleep forever. I'm just going through the motions everyday, and wishing I weren't alive. I don't want to hurt anyone, though,, or get bad karma...
Why do I constantly feel this way... and what should I do?
Before cutting your throat or jumping from the tenth floor of a building, you should think about what will happen next. You should think what kind or how much suffering will your death leave behind as a legacy.
For myself, I'm an 18 year old "alien" in my own society, and two years ago, I've thought about suicide. Life was preety black, the future didn't look bright at all, and I was really disconnected from anyone, including friends. I asked myself what will happen if I die, and the answer came as a simple "Nothing". After that I remembered that suicide is the way a coward deals with he problems of life...And I quit thinking about this suicide thing.
What should you do ? Strengthen yourself up.
Hi, sorry I haven't replied in a long time... I didn't mean to make anyone worry!:(
Thank you to everyone who had kind responses... I appreciate it. some weren't exactly very encouraging, but that's okay
Mostly, I just feel like I'm under a lot of pressure, I'm constantly stressed out and worried... I'm on anxiety medication, but I'm not going for counselling at the moment, I didn't find it very helpful in the past...
My life has just been so messed up so far, that I don't know how to cope with everything... the most basic things stress me out. Maybe it's because I'm depressed, but it just seems like I'm that kind of girl who will never be happy. I'm completely messed up... and I seem to just end up accidentally hurting other people... so sometimes suicide does seem like the best option, but don't worry, I'm not going to do it... I just don't know how to stop thinking about it...
A quiet walk in the park is enough to cheer me up, most of the time. Seeing the beauty of the world around us can dissolve our ideas that everything is worthless and ugly. Take the things that you're dealing with one at a time, otherwise you can easily become overwhelmed. It's tough being young. I know how it is, I'm only 19 myself. Suicide, however, should not be an option at all. Overcoming the difficulties and suffering in life is something we all face. I dearly hope that you can find happiness in your troubled situtation.
Dear Starfishh;I`m no great fan of anti depressants and anti anxiety drugs(I`ve used them myself,I`m still very depressed a lot of the time).They tend to numb a person so they "forget" their problems but it`s like putting someone on ice.(The problem stays and you turn in a kind of a zombie while the days tick on by).I`m NO Dr. I`m just giving my opinion ! TALK and surround yourself with the people you love,even if you "hurt" them,if you explain,you`ll see that people who really love you can take a lot more than you think.Try to do things YOU like and be a bit "egocentric",don`t try to please everybody.And if you don`t talk you start to fill in the thoughts of others.<=Let me explain;If you think you have done something "stupid" to a person and don`t talk about it you`ll think;"He\she must think this or that,but if you talk about it you`ll find out that maybe there was nothing wrong,and if there was now it`s "in the open",it`s "expended luggage",otherwise it keeps being a problem.You`ll see,a lot of the times you think you did something "wrong" it`s just "the depression talking".And things like Treehugger said;Take a nice walk,TRY to look at the beautiful things and don`t let your depression destroy the nice thoughts(That is what my mind does,it wrecks everything,even the nice things).I hope I`ve been able to help a bit.Remember;It`s only YOU that can fix YOU.You`ll have to find out what`s making you sad and try to find a way arround it.(It`s goes in very small steps,steps only you can make).
I wish you a very nice weekend,and hope you find some happyness.
PS;Forgive my English,I`m Dutch.:)
Starfishh don't do it man.
You'd be jumping out of the frying pan, into the fire... Not a good move.
Not to mention you have something very special, a Buddha mind, find it first. Would you throw away a box full of papers when there's for sure a winning lottery ticket in there? Get that ticket and cash it in man, after you will realize why it's not profitable to suicide.
I am willing to endure a lot of hardships for this hidden jewel..why? because it's worth it..So don't suicide...it's worth it to live, even if it sucks balls for many years..
I know exactly how you feel, I'm 23 now, but, sometimes feel like that, it's not as bad I used too, but, I do sometimes feel suicidal, like it would be better for me if I just ended it, but, I keep telling myself that things can get better, and I'm scared of missing out on the good things in life. Meditation should help, as well talking to someone, I know, at least for me, talking to people I know wasn't really an option as I guess was a bit ashamed and scared how they'd react or that they wouldn't understand.
Try the Samaritans, http://www.samaritans.org/your_emotional_health/about_suicide.aspx, they helped me, I emailed them, I was too scared to ring them and speak to a "real" person, so, emailing was better for me, it was less personal, maybe it'll help you, maybe ringing them would be better.
If you want to talk, feel free to message me on here, but, don't take your own life, try and get some help, you owe it to yourself.
Also, maybe painting something, it doesn't have to be anything special, but, just getting some paper, and throwing some paint at it (with brushes or even just chucking the paint at the paper) will help you get your feelings out. Writing in a journal that are for your eyes only may help (if you choose to share it, it will be your decision, no one else's).
If you're lonely at all, maybe join some societies, or drama workshops or something, to act out your feelings, channel everything you're feeling into a role.
David,Starfish I hope you are all right.I`m a bit older than you are and a big part of my life I`ve been "filling in other peoples thoughts",I hope through my tough and hard experiances I have learned a bit.In life it`s YOU,and if you`are luckey,one or two REAL friends.And with friends I MEAN friends !(A person is very blessed if they have 2 or 3 REAL friends in a lifetime !). Give them a chance,TALK TALK TALK,and if they react unfriendly\not to your liking\distant,they are no real friends.I don`t mean to say they are "wrong" but maybe you are too different to really be friends.
Friends\family have to take "the sunshine with the rain".If you are a real friend it`s the same but if you don`t give them a chance by not talking you rob yourself and your frienship from growing !!! If you really hurt inside you can`t call a workshop\society ect.(David I don`t mean that wrong\unkind workshops and so can do a lot of good but if you really hurt there is nothing like a warm hug or a real "heart to heart".),it`s YOU and your friends\family that have to solve the problem.
Well....I`m no Dr. or so but I just want to give my humble opinion,I hope it has given you something to think about.
I wish all the kind people on this site all the best.Greeings from Holland;Eric.(Excuse my English).
Mostly, I just feel like I'm under a lot of pressure, I'm constantly stressed out and worried... I'm on anxiety medication, but I'm not going for counselling at the moment, I didn't find it very helpful in the past...
My life has just been so messed up so far, that I don't know how to cope with everything... the most basic things stress me out. Maybe it's because I'm depressed, but it just seems like I'm that kind of girl who will never be happy. I'm completely messed up... and I seem to just end up accidentally hurting other people... so sometimes suicide does seem like the best option, but don't worry, I'm not going to do it... I just don't know how to stop thinking about it...
I have been where you are, many times. And I'm so thankful that you won't do it ... won't kill yourself ... because as a young woman now know that you will eventually come to a place where you value yourself and your life for what it is ... "mistakes" and all.
These trials will deepen you, make you more compassionate and wise, if you let them.
"So everything is necessary. Every least thing. This is the hard lesson. Nothing can be dispensed with. Nothing despised. Because the seams are hid from us, you see. The joinery. The way in which the world is made. We have no way to know what could be taken away. What omitted. We have no way to tell what might stand and what might fall." ~ Cormac McCarthy, "37 days"
Pressure? Take things one at a time. Know that YOU are more important than anything at this point. Cut yourself some slack and take time to rest your body, spirit, and mind.
I can relate to what you said about hurting others. It seems I hurt others as well. People are like that ... always bumping into one another. But I bet that you are loved ... more than you can imagine ... by someone in your life. And suicide would do far more damage to others than any other thing you can do.
And don't give up on counseling. I had to go through several before I found one that helped me. Apparently that's pretty normal. And counseling takes time. It's no quick fix. Human beings are complex creatures. Takes a while to untangle those threads of behavior and feeling.
My life has just been so messed up so far, that I don't know how to cope with everything... the most basic things stress me out. Maybe it's because I'm depressed, but it just seems like I'm that kind of girl who will never be happy. I'm completely messed up... and I seem to just end up accidentally hurting other people... so sometimes suicide does seem like the best option, but don't worry, I'm not going to do it... I just don't know how to stop thinking about it...
You will be happy if you find even a small thing that deserves your attention. Keep your mind busy, and you'll stop thinking about suicide. Try drawing sketches, or carving wood. Sometimes it works.:D
to those feeling suicidal because they feel an overwhelming pain,
what is an emotion? where does it come from? specifically and technically, what is it?
If you cannot answer this, you are going to make the most important decision of your life (suicide) based on something that you don't understand?
can you describe to yourself what is the sensation of pain feel like (pinchy here, pressure here), if you cannot understand the process that created these emotions, perhaps at least you can observe the result of it?
So you have all these ideas in your head (I want this, i don't want anything, life sucks...) but do you know how these ideas were created?
What is an idea? in the brain, how are ideas created? how are concepts created?
How can a bunch of neurons create ideas, words etc...
Can you really claim these ideas to be yours if you do not know how they were created?
Why do some people are happy go lucky and some people are depress and sad?
Don't you want to find out how things work before taking such a drastic decision?
When we find out how things work, sometimes it becomes easy.
Like a new video game; at first it can appear to be very complicated and confusing. All of these controls, commands etc.
But after a while we understand how the game work and it become far easier to play.
Perhaps when we understand how life works, perhaps it becomes easy as well.
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited March 2010
Unfortunately, anyone contemplating suicide because of the pain, just wants it to stop.
They are most certainly not going to stop to ask themselves such questions, right as they may be.
All they want, is a way out.
Contemplation is the last thing on their mind.
The don't want to work. They just want to be heard.
Without having to say, think or do anything.....
Unfortunately, anyone contemplating suicide because of the pain, just wants it to stop.
They are most certainly not going to stop to ask themselves such questions, right as they may be.
All they want, is a way out.
Contemplation is the last thing on their mind.
The don't want to work. They just want to be heard.
Without having to say, think or do anything.....
My opinion is that we should all be very careful of such generalization.
I believe my comments could have been helpful to myself about 12 years ago, when i was 19-20 years old and hitting a very dark period of my life, where i felt emotions similar to what some of these people describe.
Therefore i assume it would be very likely that this could potentially help somebody else.
So if it would have been a younger me who would have come here to share my feelings, perhaps you could have missed an opportunity to point me to the path to freedom by generalizing.
I understand that perhaps a great % of depressed people would behave in the way that you described. But i do not believe that it does necessarely mean that their mind are completely closed.
Also i do believe that a considerable % of people who consider suicide are in a identity crisis, common in young adults.
I hate myself, (somebody very shy) why am i like this? why can't i be like this or that person etc...
This crisis actually mean that their mind might be more open to investigate new concepts like the ego etc...
To actually find the answer to these questions.
It may not be very likely, but there is certainly a possiblity that is worth considering.
And perhaps they came here seeking hope.
Like you said "all they want is for the pain to stop"
And once they can begin to understand and see the path that will lead them to freedom from this suffering, then they are left with another option, other than suicide, to make the pain stop.
Fox in the snow, where do you go
To find something you could eat?
Cause the word out on the street is you are starving
Don't let yourself grow hungry now
Don't let yourself grow cold
Fox in the snow
Girl in the snow, where do you go
To find someone who will do?
To tell someone all the truth before it kills you
They listen to your crazy laugh
Before you hang a right
And disappear from sight
What do they know anyway?
You'll read it in a book
What do they know anyway?
You'll read it in a book tonight
Boy on the bike, what are you like
As you cycle round the town?
You're going up, you're going down
You're going nowhere
It's not as if they're paying you
It's not as if it's fun
At least not anymore
When your legs are black and blue
It's time to take a break
When your legs are black and blue
It's time to take a holiday
Kid in the snow, way to go
It only happens once a year
It only happens once a lifetime
Make the most of it
Second just to being born
Second to dying too
What else would you do?
Fox in the snow
When your legs are black and blue
It's time to take a break
When your legs are black and blue
It's time to take a holiday
this much spoke to me and I felt compassion. I actually demanded that my mother tell me a story or I would commit suicide. So human and childish. She did. I think it was about HORTON and how the WHOS thought everything belong to them...
Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
Can't you understand
Oh my little girl
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm
Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm
Comments
Also, mushrooms are very powerful and must be respected. In the correct setting and mindset they can make for a very positive experience, but a bad setting and mindset can result in very bad things. Eating mushrooms when feeling suicidal is one of the worst ideas i've ever heard.
Starfishh...there is hope. This world is a messed up place but there are people who do love you, and there are people who will love you if you only give them a chance. Find solace in loved ones. Talk to someone that you trust, if you can muster the courage to do so.
Drugs are like anything else. They can be used responsibly, irresponsibly, safely, unsafely, beneficially or detrimentally. It is very important to know the substance being used, as well as oneself, before using a substance. It's also important to be in the proper environment, not do anything dangerous, and know when to quit.
One could certainly make the argument that a drug-free life is better than a life with responsible drug use, but you sound like a DARE robot. "Impressionable youngsters" don't tend to respond well to mindless, one-sided hyperbole and propaganda. If you really care about keeping kids from the harmful effects of drugs, educate yourself and learn how to make a balanced argument.
Also, there is a post on the first page that was far worse than anything else on this thread. It is being reported. Please, never encourage a suicidal person to go through with the act and certainly don't give them practical advice on how to do so. And if you see a post like that, please report it.
I've been waiting for starfishh to come back. I have some personal experience with losing my father to suicide in 1981 (which was the catalyst for me to embrace Buddhism in 1982).
I'm also recovering from PTSD, and last year in the middle of deep depression, nightmares and panic attacks I came close to ending my life myself. That's after many years of Buddhist meditation background.
I work in the mental health field too.
We have to take care and this board needs a policy of intervention toward posters who express suicidal ideation. Just sayin'.
It was tongue and cheek but the message is serious: if you're going to kill yourself, you need to do it right. I have seen first-hand the aftermath of failed suicide attempts and it is not pretty.
Also, you chose to start your seventeenth comment here with a snide remark at the moderator. Consider yourself on very thin ice.
If you had actually read my initial post, you would have seen that I addressed that thoroughly.
Did I hurt your feelings young one? Sounds like you could use some meditation.
However, that cracked the ice. Cheers.
Om Mani Padme Hum, Om Mani Padme Hum, Om Mani Padme Hum - times 1 million
But thanks to Lincoln for addressing the matter directly.
Further comment on the matter - or the member - is now superfluous.
Is this board for people who have little to learn or much to learn?
Suicide by Administrator is a very sad thing to witness!!
For Starfish, or anyone else who might feel suicidal or who is suffering from acute depression or stress, this website might be helpful:
http://www.befrienders.org/index.asp
Kind wishes,
Dazzle
.
Anyone who refuses logical discussion, and attempts to de-rail the forum by use of extremely inappropriate posts, profane, obscene and generally offensive comments - is a fool.
Attempts to teach, failed.
exclusion therefore, was the only option.
Further comments are inadvisable....I think we can end the discussion of this matter here, ok?;)
I was really at rock bottem and I came out of it.Surround yourself as much as you can with the people\things you love\like,and try to talk about it,but only with people you 100% trust.
I wish you all the best:Eric.
Starfish, I hope you come back to read these comments on your thread. Some of them, like Eric's, are exceptionally honest and wise.
I wish you peace and joy.
Starfish you are allways welcome to ask me anything,please don`t do anything stupid.(There are people you will hurt very much too !!!).There are a lot of very kind people on this forum,just give it a try.I wish you all the best,greetings from Eric.
P.S.:There are 6.7 billion people on this world,most of them WILL find their place in life and if you give it a chance SO WILL YOU !!!
starfishh, if you happen to feel like you know there is hope but don't know where to start to try to reach it, i suggest you learn a musical instrument! life is good when you make music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5Hbh_-IRs8
Thank you to everyone who had kind responses... I appreciate it. some weren't exactly very encouraging, but that's okay
Mostly, I just feel like I'm under a lot of pressure, I'm constantly stressed out and worried... I'm on anxiety medication, but I'm not going for counselling at the moment, I didn't find it very helpful in the past...
My life has just been so messed up so far, that I don't know how to cope with everything... the most basic things stress me out. Maybe it's because I'm depressed, but it just seems like I'm that kind of girl who will never be happy. I'm completely messed up... and I seem to just end up accidentally hurting other people... so sometimes suicide does seem like the best option, but don't worry, I'm not going to do it... I just don't know how to stop thinking about it...
Before cutting your throat or jumping from the tenth floor of a building, you should think about what will happen next. You should think what kind or how much suffering will your death leave behind as a legacy.
For myself, I'm an 18 year old "alien" in my own society, and two years ago, I've thought about suicide. Life was preety black, the future didn't look bright at all, and I was really disconnected from anyone, including friends. I asked myself what will happen if I die, and the answer came as a simple "Nothing". After that I remembered that suicide is the way a coward deals with he problems of life...And I quit thinking about this suicide thing.
What should you do ? Strengthen yourself up.
A quiet walk in the park is enough to cheer me up, most of the time. Seeing the beauty of the world around us can dissolve our ideas that everything is worthless and ugly. Take the things that you're dealing with one at a time, otherwise you can easily become overwhelmed. It's tough being young. I know how it is, I'm only 19 myself. Suicide, however, should not be an option at all. Overcoming the difficulties and suffering in life is something we all face. I dearly hope that you can find happiness in your troubled situtation.
I wish you a very nice weekend,and hope you find some happyness.
PS;Forgive my English,I`m Dutch.:)
You'd be jumping out of the frying pan, into the fire... Not a good move.
Not to mention you have something very special, a Buddha mind, find it first. Would you throw away a box full of papers when there's for sure a winning lottery ticket in there? Get that ticket and cash it in man, after you will realize why it's not profitable to suicide.
I am willing to endure a lot of hardships for this hidden jewel..why? because it's worth it..So don't suicide...it's worth it to live, even if it sucks balls for many years..
Try the Samaritans, http://www.samaritans.org/your_emotional_health/about_suicide.aspx, they helped me, I emailed them, I was too scared to ring them and speak to a "real" person, so, emailing was better for me, it was less personal, maybe it'll help you, maybe ringing them would be better.
If you want to talk, feel free to message me on here, but, don't take your own life, try and get some help, you owe it to yourself.
Also, maybe painting something, it doesn't have to be anything special, but, just getting some paper, and throwing some paint at it (with brushes or even just chucking the paint at the paper) will help you get your feelings out. Writing in a journal that are for your eyes only may help (if you choose to share it, it will be your decision, no one else's).
If you're lonely at all, maybe join some societies, or drama workshops or something, to act out your feelings, channel everything you're feeling into a role.
I hope this helps, and I hope you feel better.
David.
Friends\family have to take "the sunshine with the rain".If you are a real friend it`s the same but if you don`t give them a chance by not talking you rob yourself and your frienship from growing !!! If you really hurt inside you can`t call a workshop\society ect.(David I don`t mean that wrong\unkind workshops and so can do a lot of good but if you really hurt there is nothing like a warm hug or a real "heart to heart".),it`s YOU and your friends\family that have to solve the problem.
Well....I`m no Dr. or so but I just want to give my humble opinion,I hope it has given you something to think about.
I wish all the kind people on this site all the best.Greeings from Holland;Eric.(Excuse my English).
These trials will deepen you, make you more compassionate and wise, if you let them.
"So everything is necessary. Every least thing. This is the hard lesson. Nothing can be dispensed with. Nothing despised. Because the seams are hid from us, you see. The joinery. The way in which the world is made. We have no way to know what could be taken away. What omitted. We have no way to tell what might stand and what might fall." ~ Cormac McCarthy, "37 days"
Pressure? Take things one at a time. Know that YOU are more important than anything at this point. Cut yourself some slack and take time to rest your body, spirit, and mind.
I can relate to what you said about hurting others. It seems I hurt others as well. People are like that ... always bumping into one another. But I bet that you are loved ... more than you can imagine ... by someone in your life. And suicide would do far more damage to others than any other thing you can do.
And don't give up on counseling. I had to go through several before I found one that helped me. Apparently that's pretty normal. And counseling takes time. It's no quick fix. Human beings are complex creatures. Takes a while to untangle those threads of behavior and feeling.
Good luck to you.
Rena
You will be happy if you find even a small thing that deserves your attention. Keep your mind busy, and you'll stop thinking about suicide. Try drawing sketches, or carving wood. Sometimes it works.:D
what is an emotion? where does it come from? specifically and technically, what is it?
If you cannot answer this, you are going to make the most important decision of your life (suicide) based on something that you don't understand?
can you describe to yourself what is the sensation of pain feel like (pinchy here, pressure here), if you cannot understand the process that created these emotions, perhaps at least you can observe the result of it?
So you have all these ideas in your head (I want this, i don't want anything, life sucks...) but do you know how these ideas were created?
What is an idea? in the brain, how are ideas created? how are concepts created?
How can a bunch of neurons create ideas, words etc...
Can you really claim these ideas to be yours if you do not know how they were created?
Why do some people are happy go lucky and some people are depress and sad?
Don't you want to find out how things work before taking such a drastic decision?
When we find out how things work, sometimes it becomes easy.
Like a new video game; at first it can appear to be very complicated and confusing. All of these controls, commands etc.
But after a while we understand how the game work and it become far easier to play.
Perhaps when we understand how life works, perhaps it becomes easy as well.
They are most certainly not going to stop to ask themselves such questions, right as they may be.
All they want, is a way out.
Contemplation is the last thing on their mind.
The don't want to work. They just want to be heard.
Without having to say, think or do anything.....
I believe my comments could have been helpful to myself about 12 years ago, when i was 19-20 years old and hitting a very dark period of my life, where i felt emotions similar to what some of these people describe.
Therefore i assume it would be very likely that this could potentially help somebody else.
So if it would have been a younger me who would have come here to share my feelings, perhaps you could have missed an opportunity to point me to the path to freedom by generalizing.
I understand that perhaps a great % of depressed people would behave in the way that you described. But i do not believe that it does necessarely mean that their mind are completely closed.
Also i do believe that a considerable % of people who consider suicide are in a identity crisis, common in young adults.
I hate myself, (somebody very shy) why am i like this? why can't i be like this or that person etc...
This crisis actually mean that their mind might be more open to investigate new concepts like the ego etc...
To actually find the answer to these questions.
It may not be very likely, but there is certainly a possiblity that is worth considering.
And perhaps they came here seeking hope.
Like you said "all they want is for the pain to stop"
And once they can begin to understand and see the path that will lead them to freedom from this suffering, then they are left with another option, other than suicide, to make the pain stop.
I wrote this with much respect for you.
Have a great evening!
Patrice
To find something you could eat?
Cause the word out on the street is you are starving
Don't let yourself grow hungry now
Don't let yourself grow cold
Fox in the snow
Girl in the snow, where do you go
To find someone who will do?
To tell someone all the truth before it kills you
They listen to your crazy laugh
Before you hang a right
And disappear from sight
What do they know anyway?
You'll read it in a book
What do they know anyway?
You'll read it in a book tonight
Boy on the bike, what are you like
As you cycle round the town?
You're going up, you're going down
You're going nowhere
It's not as if they're paying you
It's not as if it's fun
At least not anymore
When your legs are black and blue
It's time to take a break
When your legs are black and blue
It's time to take a holiday
Kid in the snow, way to go
It only happens once a year
It only happens once a lifetime
Make the most of it
Second just to being born
Second to dying too
What else would you do?
Fox in the snow
this much spoke to me and I felt compassion. I actually demanded that my mother tell me a story or I would commit suicide. So human and childish. She did. I think it was about HORTON and how the WHOS thought everything belong to them...
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
Can't you understand
Oh my little girl
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm
Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm
Enjoy the silence