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Why do people have children?
ravkes
Veteran
I don't think having children is a biological need, it's more conditioned. Eating, drinking, breathing.. pooping etc. that's all what the body does. As far as getting your penis up monkey mind to makes up some weird concept about how the other gender looks good etc ass, tits.. without the concepts I don't think all this pointlessness, although peaceful pointlessness after you've "suffered" long enough, would go on.
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It would appear that population rates are going down in the West though. People are either becoming more globally conscious of having to feed extra mouths - or they like the childless life and the freedom it represents.
I used to think I don't like children.
The far more accurate thing would be to say that I dislike a lot of children's behaviour in public, but the parents are the ones responsible.... I have a short fuse when it comes to badly behaved children, but I also have to stop myself grimacing when I see a pregnant woman, and I wonder "What the hell are you doing?!"
This is all hugely questionable, and perhaps even hypocritical.
My eldest daughter is due to give birth to my first grandchild this month....
I happen to know she will make an amazing mum, though.
For myself, there were several motivations:
1)It sounded like a fun adventure for me and my wife to embark on. :rolleyes:
2)The idea of being a teacher, of passing on knowledge, began to manifest in me in my late 20's and early 30's.
3)It seemed clear that it would make my wife very happy.
4)Our house was far too quiet with just the two of us.
Parenting can a true experiment in non-duality..it can suck, and then in an instant be transformed into the most awesome thing you've ever experienced.
I'm an unbelievably lucky guy..two daughters, healthy, beautiful, and much smarter than I am. I can't imagine my life without them.
I think seeing a happy family is truly a wonderful thing.
However, I feel like I'm missing a gene or something when I watch women's reactions to babies. They really really LOVE babies. For them babies are the greatest thing ever.
I had a friend, in all sincerity, remark: "What woman in her twenties doesn't want a baby?" She said it in the same way I would say: "What person doesn't believe in gravity?"
I like babies, but I don't have that automatic gushing reaction to them. Am I broken? LOL
There are so many women in their 20s that don't want babies as I know including myself
I don't want a baby and I probably never will. But I like babies. Who wouldn't. They are too cute and cuddly
lol.. all words are baseless generalizations who cares
Including your ones?
But I've hurled no insults. So at least I've been baseless and in keeping with my interpretation of Right Speech.
I thought that this would have input from people of different walks of life, but it seems to be limited to a certain segment...so I'll depart. Cheers!
Right speech is part of the buddhist path.
What are you talking about?
You're quite right on that one, however words are just concepts with no intrinsic value. Buddha's teaching in this respect was to watch your words for the people who are still deluded because they might attach meaning to them and suffer delusionally and I guess that makes sense, lawl. My bad, although you gotta admit.. that song is quite catchy.
Boy the joke is on them. Kids stay home for a long long time these days. It is more like having someone to take care of when they are old.
haha yup! i'm 20 and i commute from home and my sister is 25 and works and commutes too lmfao
although i do pay for my own tuition cause i'm a good kiddo
If you don't believe me try using wrong speech when talking to a monastic and see how quickly you get thrown out of the temple.
Yes, that's why I deleted ravkes' post.
The other consideration is - and I bet it's one even very few Buddhists consider - is that in bringing a being into the world, you are heralding its death.
But then again, from a Buddhist PoV, isn't there the possibility of giving life to a reborn human, and perpetuating their opportunity of working through their Kamma....?
Yeah true. Gotta conform to protect your own well-being in this deluded society. 2500 years and it's still the same, Buddha was one smart cookie.
Now, do you wish to continue the discussion regarding having children - or not?
Indeed he was. Just remember, everything in the 8fold path benefits you. From there it radiates out and benefits others. Practice makes perfect
For a long time I didn't want children. I was accutely aware that by bringing a life into this world, I would be causing that life to suffer (birth, sickness, teens
I now want kids but I am still worried about the future.
Blah ...
You guys can, I think I've spoken a little too much and got my "point" across lol. Just had to wear my monkey mind out. Sometimes I get caught in it's reverie and post threads on here. Thanks for dealing with the little bugger
It is so different, that is true. Being from Canada, the government takes on a good share of the load and I hadn't thought of that. Here, we do tend to shelter people which is good and kind which alleviates suffering, but we also stifle their growth which contributes to suffering. That is not to say things cannot change, but things have been this way for a long time. There is a lot of value in the way you do things there.
Then, when I was in hospital with my firstborn (about three days old, she was!) someone came in to talk about contraception after pregnancy...unless of course, I would be planning to conceive - was I thinking of having more children?!
Gimme a break!!
Palzang
I like Canada. Wanted to migrate sometimes back but then my sister ended up in the states so I gave up the idea of leaving my mum who by the way is dependent on me financially. I like to support her. She did the same to me when I needed it.
If human life is one of the best ways to achieve Nibbana, couldn't having a child or too and teaching them the buddha dharma be an act of compassion. (Just don't go overboard like the some religous fanatics and think it is your duty to have as many kids as possible.)
Probably the only selfless reason to give birth I have heard so far
Palzang had my words as I was writing them only more precise. I wish this had a like button like on facebook.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yE6PNps5N9I&feature=grec
awwww... too cute Lol
I grew up poor, and I fixed this idea in my head that I would wouldn't have kids until I had the nice house, grassy backyard, golden lab, and the time to bake homemade apple pies with them. It's a total cliche, but it's what I believed.
Now, I not sure if all that is necessary. What do kids truly need to be happy and healthy?
My wife is Filipino (you know, you've met
Cultures are a funny thing
Okay, I'm back in.
To answer the question, IMO, attentive, nurturing parents. Wealth has little to do with it. My wife and I have wealthy friends who hardly see their kids, and it's been a disaster.
Without people like this, where do the Buddha's come from, or the Gandhi's, or the Mother Theresa's?
Yes, great people can come from negative backgrounds with unloving parents but one can't deny many also come from loving parents who hold out hope for the world. Hold out hope for a world with less suffering. Hold out hope that the world can be a better place.
People are capable of acts of great love, sacrifice and kindness. Even through the act of bringing children into the world, this greatness is possible.
For example, did you decide one parent would stay home?
Thanks
You can do a certain amount of planning...but having kids is not a terribly predictable thing. What works for someone else may not for you, you may have a special-needs child, your kids get sick...Life happens.
I've found the family experience to be good for my practice. It's easy to be mindful in a quiet house by yourself, or with a somewhat quiet spouse. You learn a lot more about yourself as you try to be mindful in a room with 2 loud, energetic young children and a lab puppy.
As it turned out, for me personally, it didn't work. She wasn't happy, and I was giving every penny I earnt, to the childminder, so it was pointless.
However, (and I realise it's not always this easy) my husband earnt enough, fortunately, for me to be a stay-at-home mum.
It was the best decision I could make. When my daughter began school, it became easier for me to get a part-time job.
I want to emphasise here, that this is just my opinion, but having tried both options, I am of the opinion that, if you're going to have to work, or go back to work, after you've had children - then you shouldn't have children in the first place. I truly believe children benefit more from having at least one, present and attentive parent, rather than finding themselves being transported to childminders at ungodly hours of the morning, because mummy and daddy have important careers.
I just think having children is more important than working, and goodness knows in these uncertain economically unstable times, people should consider very carefully, whether to have a family whilst they also need a job.
It's true - people with wealth don't necessarily make the best parents, but by the same token, people who work, with children, who don't parent - are equally as bad.
Can I quote that in the future, friend?
Although I spoke about noble underpinnings for some, I am afraid I cannot claim the same. I fathered twins and they were an accident. Planning was quite possibly the last thing on my mind at the time.
Having said that, they have brought much into my life and I cherish them dearly. They have helped me grow up in many ways. They sure do have a way of taking over your life, of that I can assure you.
Much of my life happened moment to moment and spontaneously. I think I brought my kids up that way too.
Often, male sexuality is just that - conceptual & voyeuristic.
When a man can sort out his views about sex, his mind & behaviour (& samadhi) can change alot.
But, in my view, the female sexuality is more biological than conceptual.
Look at the animal kingdom. Sexuality generally does not arise until the female is on heat.
And that heat is very hot and generally the female becomes mentally delirious.
Mother nature has been doing her thing for eternity, even before 'conceptualisation' was invented.
Try to look more functionally at the tits, ass, etc.
Do you look at breasts scientificially as lumps of tissue & skin, full of fat, liquids, sweat & blood, which serve the purpose of breast feeding?
Or do you look at them like advertising?
So you are saying that males are all reason but nature made women heat driven lunatics? LOL I can see the pitchforks on the horizon. Somebody go grab me some popcorn this thread is about to get interesting.
Children give maturity, purpose and the natural situation for compassion & selflessness.
Males are generally devoid of reason & replete with ignorance.
Women by nature generally have alot of reason (wisdom) but also have alot of biological pressure.
BTW. Try avoiding words like "all" and try understanding words like "generally".
When did it become ok to make trite and unsubstantiated claims just because you throw in the word general.
Generally, generalities are mute points.