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can somebody give advice on meditation?

edited September 2005 in Buddhism Basics
I've been having quite a bit of difficulty meditating unforunately :( . This is for 2 reasons.

1. I have back and neck injuries and I find after 25 seconds of sitting the pain just keeps gradually increasing (just in my back most of the time). I've even tried detaching myself from the pain and giving it no heed, but eventually it just becomes too much. Lately when I try lying meditation (the corpse pose I learned from yoga), I just feel like going to sleep, I can't keep focus. I dont' know if there are any alternative possitions however.

2. well, this ones a classic, and probably my biggest obstacle, I'm simply having a lot of trouble keeping myself focused and calm, getting into the mindset needed. Thus far I've tried counting up to 10 from each breath, which helps, but doesn't really cut it by itself.
In the past month I've become so bad at it I usually end up feeling frustrated and quitting within 30 seconds. on a good day, which isn't often, I can make it 4 or 5 minutes.
There was one time about 2 months ago, where I really surprised myself. it was exactly 1:00 and I sat down cross-legged on my couch (needing the back support), and just let go of all keeping track of time and those rapid moving thoughts. When I came out I realized it was 1:35! maybe not the most impressive record in buddhist history, but it was quite a leap for me. I'm not really sure how I managed that though, what made that time different.

anyway, if somebody has some helpfull suggestions I'd be very gratefull.

Comments

  • SimonthepilgrimSimonthepilgrim Veteran
    edited September 2005
    Mr. D.:

    1. Posture: Not having been a yoga practitioner, although I have none of your injuries, I find that attempting a full or half-lotus very painful. I have tried a number of different postures for meditation. With this ageing and aching body of mine, I have found that sitting upright in a chair with a straight back and low enough for my feet to be planted flat on the ground is ideal.

    I have found that a number of traditional teachers are quite insistent on what they have learned as the 'best' posture. It was a relif to meet one who took a more pragmatic approach and we worked to find what works. As she pointed out to me, assuming a position for meditation with full attention and a clear intention is skillful.


    2.. "Monkey mind": Once again, I have been lucky enough to have had teachers who pointed out that our minds do not actually work faster when we stop and look. What we 'see' is how busy our mind is all the time. As we persevere with the practice, we will find moments (long or short but lengthening) when the mind begins to slow and calm. Like any other exercise, we need a 'warmup' and 'cool-down' time around our practice: we wouldn't attempt to run a marathon without preliminaries and practice.

    The key word is PRACTICE: it is not a matter of success or failure but of practice, practice, practice. And forget any idea that "practice makes perfect"!
  • edited September 2005
    mr-devious wrote:
    I've been having quite a bit of difficulty meditating unforunately :( . This is for 2 reasons.

    1. I have back and neck injuries and I find after 25 seconds of sitting the pain just keeps gradually increasing (just in my back most of the time). I've even tried detaching myself from the pain and giving it no heed, but eventually it just becomes too much. Lately when I try lying meditation (the corpse pose I learned from yoga), I just feel like going to sleep, I can't keep focus. I dont' know if there are any alternative possitions however.

    2. well, this ones a classic, and probably my biggest obstacle, I'm simply having a lot of trouble keeping myself focused and calm, getting into the mindset needed. Thus far I've tried counting up to 10 from each breath, which helps, but doesn't really cut it by itself.
    In the past month I've become so bad at it I usually end up feeling frustrated and quitting within 30 seconds. on a good day, which isn't often, I can make it 4 or 5 minutes.
    There was one time about 2 months ago, where I really surprised myself. it was exactly 1:00 and I sat down cross-legged on my couch (needing the back support), and just let go of all keeping track of time and those rapid moving thoughts. When I came out I realized it was 1:35! maybe not the most impressive record in buddhist history, but it was quite a leap for me. I'm not really sure how I managed that though, what made that time different.

    anyway, if somebody has some helpfull suggestions I'd be very gratefull.

    Mr.D,

    Thank you for asking questiond regarding the important practice of meditation. I'm sure many others will benefit from the questions to answers you were strong enough to ask.

    1. What Simon has to say about sitting is exactly what I'd recommend. Do what works for you!

    2. Let me start by saying that all practice, whether we percieve it to be successful or a failure, is still practice. When learning to drive people don't just sit in the car and take their license test straight away! With that analogy in mind everyone has their own learning curves and ways to improve technique (which is never ending, by the way!).

    I shall therfore, humbly, offer one piece of advice. When your meditation is not going well and you're getting close to your 30 second barrier remember one piece of wisdom that can be applied to anything:

    "It will pass"

    Keep up the practice!

    _/\_
  • SimonthepilgrimSimonthepilgrim Veteran
    edited September 2005
    Meditation is, initially, only a way of looking at our mind and our lives. Its own processes will reflect our lives, too.

    At one time, I would read everything I could find by Sufi writers, particularly Omar Khayyam and Rumi. From them, I gained the notion of the Oasis: a place to stop and rest in the desert of this life. Some oases are well-stocked and we stay in them for quite a while, some less so. But, when we are out in the desert again, the memory of the oases can be enough to keep us going.

    In the same way, our meditation practice will offer 'consolation' which is a great support during periods of dryness or 'desolation'.

    Above all, I find it useful to remember that millions of human beings have been through this before me. I am only a single link in the vast chain of human meditators and where I sit, others have sat and will sit when I move on.
  • edited September 2005
    Meditation is something that I'm really new at. For the past year or so I have looked at religions from all around the world. Buddism just seemed to fit me, so I've stuck with it. I've tried meditation a few times, but with the place that I live and the things that are always going on, i never can relax.

    My thought are always buzzing, talking, and telling me that I'm wasting time. I thought that just sitting or standing in a place is a waste of time because I could be studying for school, or reading, or working on another skill. But then I thought, this is a skill and I do need to work on it. But part of me still feels like I'm wasting time.

    I have brothers and sisters that I live with, and the house is almost never quite, so I would go outside or to the park in my town, but even then my thoughts seem to be as anoying as a fly when your trying to eat.

    Meditation is hard for me to do. Perhaps I don't grasp what I am ment to do, where I'm ment to do it, and why I'm doing it.

    Any advice?
  • SimonthepilgrimSimonthepilgrim Veteran
    edited September 2005
    Welcome to you, Jen!

    Do not be discouraged: we have all been there - and I visit regularly, still! The good old 'Protestant work ethic' kicks in: "time wasting"! As if we can waste time. We can only make use of the space it apparently affords us. And we can do it skillfully or not, as we choose.

    As we have said elsewhere, the first thing that we all notice, when we first practise 'stopping' (shamatha), we are appalled by how out-of-contol our mind appears to be. Like a monkey, it leaps hither and thither.

    The first thing that we need (and for some of us it is a life-long practice) is to STOP. And we achieve this by practising what is called "mindfulness" which is directed attention. In my own case, I direct my attention to the breath. As distractions in the form of thoughts, sounds, sensations, etc. arise, I notice that I have become distracted and return my attention to my breath.

    When the distractions are really 'overwhelming', I use the trick of counting outbreaths, from One to Ten, and then start again at One. Each time I notice I have become distracted, I return my attention to my breath, without paying any attention to the distraction, neitherv pushing nor pulling, and start my count at One again. Sometimes, I do not reach Ten more than a couple of times in 20 minutes. So What? I have been practising, learning the art of focused attention and I have come so far in practise sessions that I notice so quickly my mind wandering from the point. This is, indeed, worth noting.

    I have sometimes compared meditation practice with learning a musical instrument. The analogy breaks down because, in meditation there is no performance at which we aim: the practice is the performance.

    Ten minutes of awareness of monkey mind is, IMHO, worth any number of hours of sitting in a distracted doze, however serene we may outwardly appear!
  • SimonthepilgrimSimonthepilgrim Veteran
    edited September 2005
    P.S. Buddhist writers have much to say on ways to deal with distractions. This makes for good reading at appropriate study times. As I became more committed to the Noble Eighfold Path and my refuge in the Dharma, I needed to structure my day not only to include meditation but also some time to read and reflect on the words of the skillful practitioners and of the Buddha Shakyamuni himself.

    Many of the words and ideas in these writings are strange to us, so it is by using the skills we have learned in order to study our school subjects that we can approach them and begin to understand the vast store of riches that they contain.

    In addition, I believe that my practice of meditation and study has enabled me to enjoy my life more, to laugh more and to become more 'laid back'. So I also make sure that each day contains time for that!


  • edited September 2005
    MR-D,
    I do understand about the pain you feel, my mom has the same problem ( She has Arthritis in her hips and Back) so sitting quietly or even laying down for a while is hard for her. Let alone ignore the pain.
    So I taught her how to meditate in the shower. I know this sounds funny, but it really does help. The warmth of the running water, and the concentration of her breathing in the shower, Gives her a lot of relief from her every day exsistance.
    It helps her to cope with her life. And now she even does it in the pool when I take her to the gym for a swim. She finds it very comforting to let go of the constant pain she is in. Although I am never far away from her when she is doing this just in case she winds up in trouble. ( just watch out for the water bill :eekblue: )
  • SimonthepilgrimSimonthepilgrim Veteran
    edited September 2005
    That is one of the best ideas I have ever heard, MoonLgt! Thank you.
  • edited September 2005
    I've never heard of the shower thing, thats intersting.

    But thank you, your words helped. Maybe I can focus.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited September 2005
    Jen, another approach to meditation is one recommended by Thich Naht Hahn (And goodness knows if I've spelt his name right....He must get this a lot....!! *lol*)

    To be absolutely totally focussed on the veryt thing you are doing. Like (his example) washing up.
    Feel the water against your hands, its temperature, its soapyness, and observe how dirty the dishes are to begin with, and how squeaky clean they are when you finish, and how everything is refreshed when you rinse it and put it to drain.... but do all of this with NO RUNNING COMMENTARY in words, in your head. it's all done purely and simply through simple observation.....
    :thumbsup:
  • edited September 2005
    And to think that I wash dishes everyday... lol

    Just kidding.

    This place is the best. Everyone has helped me so allready and I bearly know anyone.

    I will relax and try it again... and agian.... and again. And even if I never get it, I'll always be trying... Thats kinda sad but its all I can do.
  • JasonJason God Emperor Arrakis Moderator
    edited September 2005
    QUOTE: "I will relax and try it again... and agian.... and again. And even if I never get it, I'll always be trying... Thats kinda sad but its all I can do."

    Jen,

    Do not have such a view about it. Honestly, everyone has trouble at the beginning. After about 4 years of serious study and practice I am only just now beginning to develop a noticeable improvement in my mindfulness. The keys to success lie within these three things:

    1.) Consistency.

    Do it as often as possible, as steadily as possible, and as long as possible. So, try to be mindful of everything you do. Watch how you feel physically and mentally. Don't 'think', "Oh, I'm sad.", just be aware of the feeling of 'sad'. Pay attention to how the mind thinks, how the body feels, when you are seeing what is actually seeing? Just this awareness is the foundation for future benefits. Next have a time to sit and meditate everyday. Try to sit for at least thirty minutes to an hour. If that's too much then try to begin with fifteen. Just make sure that you put forth the effort to do it consistently. It takes time to progress.

    2.) Patience.

    If you feel sleepy, bored, and absolutely have no mindfulness - don't worry. It takes time, and it's not immediate that you gain any benefits. Trust me on this one. Do not discourage yourself. Even after two or three years of not having a noticeable improvment just keep at it.

    3.) Effort.

    Don't be lazy about it, and don't allow yourself to slack off. It is very easy to become bored or discouraged at the beginning and then you just end up frustrated and develop a half-assed practice. If you need to read Suttas about the benefits of meditation and mindfulness, such as "mindfulness is the path to the deathless" from the Dhammapada, or read meditation masters' teachings to rouse your effort, such as http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Academy/9280/path.htm. Do whatever inspires you to make the effort to do this everyday, or as much as possible in your busy schedule. That way year after year you will gradual gain the fruits of all that effort - and believe me you will really, truely benefit from this practice.

    Good luck. :)

    Jason
  • edited September 2005
    I have so much to learn...
  • JasonJason God Emperor Arrakis Moderator
    edited September 2005
    No, not much to learn at all.

    Just relax and take it easy. Meditation isn't a test or a race. It's a learning experience that takes time to develop. Suttas (Buddha's teachings) are a lot to learn, but meditation is quite simple. It basically boils down to "watch the breath" and "pay attention". :)

    Jason
  • edited September 2005
    One thing that really helps me meditate is that I have my own "meditation area" in our house and I turn off all the lights, light a candle and my incense, and focus on the flame of the candle. Whenever my mind wanders, I focus it right back on the flame of the candle. And try not to "label" how your meditation went - it is neither good nor bad...it is just meditation. I used to always say to myself "That was a good meditation session" or "That was a bad one", but now I am just happy to mediate and I do not give the session any labels - especially negative ones! Another thing that helps me is when my mind starts to wander, I notice what I am thinking about and then say to myself "I am thinking" and then I let that thought go and focus on my breath and the candle flame again. I sure hope that helps! Just keep practicing!

    Kim
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited September 2005
    Somebody put a post out here of an internet site that discussed meditating.

    It starts off with the head of a monk and a fly buzzing around him. If you click the screen it says something like, "What? That little fly distracted you?"

    Then it moves onto another page where it talks about meditation. Bear in mind that you can't believe everything you read on the internet, but it talks about meditating in your chair at work, or in the tub at home - 3 or 4 different ways you can meditate without sitting in a "full lotus position".

    I mean, it all comes down to "Right Mind" in a way. If you're laying down to rest - you should be resting. If you're laying down so that you can meditate without pain - you're laying down with the intention of meditating - so just do it.

    I just find for me - the formality of sitting on a cushion (because I can) and meditating helps me focus a little better. But - one should be as comfortable as possible. I don't think meditation should be an exercise in pain.

    -bf
  • edited September 2005
    What do you think (you all) about listening to music while meditating?
  • edited September 2005
    Jen, I listen to Music all the time during my meditation. I don't think there is anything wrong or right about using things during Meditation. It is up to each of us how and what we do. All that really matters is the Practice itself.
  • edited September 2005
    I really like getting all of your peoples imput and things. It really helps me so thanks so very much. I think I ask a lot of questions...
  • BrianBrian Detroit, MI Moderator
    edited September 2005
    How else does one learn? My entire life consists of one question after another :p

    Never be ashamed of asking questions.
  • edited September 2005
    YAY! SO I"M NOT A COMPLETLY QUESTION PRONE WHATEVER! ^.^"" that was a little off....
  • edited September 2005
    Hi, Jen!

    I listen to music all the time while I chant and meditate. It helps me to focus. I, too, am a person who will ask a lot of questions and I agree with Brian---How else does one learn if they don't ask questions? Anyway, I am Adiana and I want to say hi and it is nice to have you here. I like the fact that there are a lot of people of different ages, races, beliefs, and other differences of opinion. I learn a lot from all of you here at this site.

    Adiana
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited September 2005
    The soothing quiet, sometimes repetitive nature of the music I use, is conducive to a relaxed state of mind for me... I use music all the time in my teaching of Qi Gong (a passive Martial Art, not unlike Tai Chi, before you ask...!! :lol: ) and it brings a calm quality to the level of concentration required...

    I would not recommend ZZTop, WhiteSnake LennyrdSkynnird or guns'n'Roses.... !! :rocker:

    Try something very soothing....
    Much music of the preferred kind is available.... go to any good, reputable music store and ask.... Music for Meditation, contemplation or chanting, Peace Music....

    Enjoy.....
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