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What to do..

BodhgayaBodhgaya
edited December 2010 in Buddhism Basics
Namaste!
I have a friend whose mother has a bit of an anger problem.
When she gets angry, she just yells and threatens, and says things I would hope she doesn't mean. I am just looking for some advice that I could use/give so I could try to help him feel better- he takes what she says hard, but I don't blame him because I have heard some.

Any help would be nice,

Metta. :o

Comments

  • DazzleDazzle
    edited December 2010
    Hi Bodhgaya,

    Perhaps if your friend just thinks to himself "May you be well, may you be happy" when his mother is angry, tries to be gentle and kind with her and resolves not to take words said in anger too seriously ?

    She has to have a reason to be angry and unhappy, so maybe to look at the source of her anger to see if he is causing the problem himself.

    Its hard to comment without any detail. I hope that all will be resolved and that everyone concerned will find peace of mind.

    kind wishes,

    Dazzle
  • cazcaz Veteran United Kingdom Veteran
    edited December 2010
    Bodhgaya wrote: »
    Namaste!
    I have a friend whose mother has a bit of an anger problem.
    When she gets angry, she just yells and threatens, and says things I would hope she doesn't mean. I am just looking for some advice that I could use/give so I could try to help him feel better- he takes what she says hard, but I don't blame him because I have heard some.

    Any help would be nice,

    Metta. :o

    Well count yourself lucky that isnt your mother, I have a mother similar to that this is where practising the perfection of Patience comes in...:)
  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran
    edited December 2010
    Just because someone (even your mother) says so doesn't make it true.

    A line worth considering is, "It's not your fault."
  • BodhgayaBodhgaya
    edited December 2010
    Dazzle wrote: »
    Hi Bodhgaya,

    Perhaps if your friend just thinks to himself "May you be well, may you be happy" when his mother is angry, tries to be gentle and kind with her and resolves not to take words said in anger too seriously ?

    She has to have a reason to be angry and unhappy, so maybe to look at the source of her anger to see if he is causing the problem himself.

    Its hard to comment without any detail. I hope that all will be resolved and that everyone concerned will find peace of mind.

    kind wishes,

    Dazzle


    That is what I told him to do, but he cannot not take it seriously, but I don't blame him. She can be pretty brash...
  • BodhgayaBodhgaya
    edited December 2010
    caz namyaw wrote: »
    Well count yourself lucky that isnt your mother, I have a mother similar to that this is where practising the perfection of Patience comes in...:)


    That's what I thought. He doesn't have much patience for her. She does like to hit, as well. So I don't know if that would really work too much with that.
  • BodhgayaBodhgaya
    edited December 2010
    genkaku wrote: »
    Just because someone (even your mother) says so doesn't make it true.

    A line worth considering is, "It's not your fault."


    I told him that, too.
    When she gets angry, she says pretty much the same thing to all of the people who make her angry, so her words aren't personal, she's just got a short fuse to a big bomb called anger.
  • hermitwinhermitwin Veteran
    edited December 2010
    Usually when an angry person is confronted by a calm person
    they cant maintain the anger. Its like you hit the ball but nobody
    hits it back.
  • BodhgayaBodhgaya
    edited December 2010
    This is all nice and dandy, and it seems like good advice. But I suppose it doesn't make much of a difference if he doesn't take any of it.
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