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Totally lost, seeking help
I have been considering buddhism for a while now, but I havent been able to get the time to learn about it properly etc, and it had kinda been put to the back of my mind for a while, regrettably. But recently I was thinking about my religion:
I was baptised a catholic, and it is the only faith I have known, and a couple of years ago or so, I decided that this is non-sensical, Im gonna be an atheist. But a few days ago, I was thinking to myself - whilst I dont follow/believe in christian teachings etc. I still, somewhere, have this seemingly inescapable attatchment to a 'god figure', and that when ive done something that I feel overwhelmingly bad about, or when the 'world is going to end' - I find myself feeling the need to ask for help from some higher figure - but at the same time, not really believing in it.
Now I really have given this quite a lot of thought lately, and have come to some of my own conclusions. But I just cant seem to escape this idea - and its really confusing me. Also, I have to ask myself why I want to escape this, if I seem to believe in it...
Sorry if this doesn't really make any sense, and Im more than willing to clarify any of it, if anyone wants to help me out with this
I was baptised a catholic, and it is the only faith I have known, and a couple of years ago or so, I decided that this is non-sensical, Im gonna be an atheist. But a few days ago, I was thinking to myself - whilst I dont follow/believe in christian teachings etc. I still, somewhere, have this seemingly inescapable attatchment to a 'god figure', and that when ive done something that I feel overwhelmingly bad about, or when the 'world is going to end' - I find myself feeling the need to ask for help from some higher figure - but at the same time, not really believing in it.
Now I really have given this quite a lot of thought lately, and have come to some of my own conclusions. But I just cant seem to escape this idea - and its really confusing me. Also, I have to ask myself why I want to escape this, if I seem to believe in it...
Sorry if this doesn't really make any sense, and Im more than willing to clarify any of it, if anyone wants to help me out with this
0
Comments
Talisman, I am not looking for any sort of validation for a god-figure, and I am glad to hear that this is the right place to begin. I want to leave it behind totally, and Im confused by why, because I want to let it go, I cant seem to.
Discover for yourself how this concept has arisen, how you cling to it in hopes of aiding your suffering, and how this very clinging has obviously arisen to further suffering and distress.
Meditate and Laugh
-also: do you think that meditation will aid me in thinking this out?
Try to watch yourself and see how your need to believe/ not believe in God arises and passes away and what are the basis of that. That might help you understand what you want.
Victorious, I have never really looked into Jainism or Taoism, so I cannot really say, but I shall have a nose around on google when I get the chance
Any chance of a good link on mindfulness meditation?
what you need to do is to really figure out what is right for you. atheists can tell you all the reasons they want for why there isn't a god, but if you don't believe it in your heart and you're forced to always have that sinking feeling of "what if?" in the back of your head, then reason doesn't really matter, imo.
perhaps you would enjoy watching Julia Sweeney's comedic/touching/inspirational one woman show titled "Letting Go of God" she was raised catholic like you, but does not end up at buddhism. but that really isn't the point here...
this is part 1/13, the rest can be found on youtube:
While it is true that Buddhism does not set up gods in the same way Christians or Jews or Muslims do, still there is nothing saying you can't believe in anything you like. We all have beliefs and hopes and those beliefs and hopes can inspire a practice. Right, wrong or indifferent, seriously -- believe anything you like. Believe anything you like AND practice.
In practice, we nourish experience and experience trumps belief. Or, put another way, experience makes belief less necessary ... less necessary because when you know something from experience, the need to believe it falls away. Believe it or not, that includes Buddhism.
My view is, find a practice and practice it. Meditation is a good one, but there are others as well. Just keep practicing. Don't give up. Keep practicing and, over time, the matters of god or heaven or hell or doubt or ecstasy or angels on the head of a pin will all settle down. Just practice.
Best wishes.
Seriously guys. Meh is a beginner. Do you think your conversation is helping him/her?
How will or
help meh to get closer to a choice?
I think its human nature to want some 'higher power' to rely on in times of danger or uncertainty.
But the important thing for you I think is to determine what you expect out of a religion/filosofy. Go out and meet people from different religions.Sitting in your chamber thinking to yourself is only going to get you so far.
Another tip is to find a respected far gone practitioner of a religion/filosofy that you are interested in and study what qualities that person have to determine if that is the path you want to go.
Yet another one is to read the holy scriptures of those religions.
For Buddhism I would recommend this link. They are really good:
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/snp/
Good luck. Post more! Ask more!
/Victor
MODERATOR EDIT Note:
Videos deleted.
Sorry but may I ask what kind of Buddhist you are? And the guy on the clips is he a Buddhist? He sounds more like a Hindu. Just asking.
My post was in response to something finding0 said, I'll keep it to myself in the future. Sorry for confusing things.
I'm gonna go and do some metta for this, now.
Could you please stop posting repeated nonbuddhistik youtube clips on threads that ask about Buddhism?
@fivebells
Hear hear.
Who is your Master? I want to have a word with him if I may?
zombiegirl, thankyou for that videolink, im going to start watching that now - it looks very promising:) Nice to hear from someone with similar experiences.
finding0: Thankyou for your insight, but Im extremely inexperienced and have gaping holes in my knowledge and grasp of buddhism. Im *learning* about it, and therefor Im not quite understanding some of what you are saying, or how it relates to my concern.
Victorious: Thanks for your help so far
What appeals to me about buddhism -
With my somewhat tangled thought processes and disorganised life etc, Im hoping that by becoming more mindful, more thoughtful and more aware etc. I will be able to function better, think more clearly.
But also, Im looking for more meaning to life, but Im not going to take that from the teachings laid down in stone, in the bible for instance. Im hoping that through meditation, mindfulness etc. by following the buddhist teachings, I will be able to better myself, and find myself, if you get me... sorry Im really tired xD hoping this makes some kind of sense. Im just not so interested in material wealth, and I want to find a greater meaning in life. Strange for a 16 year old to say that I guess
I started asking the same questions when I was a lot younger than you so no it is not strange.
I will recommend the following to you.
1. Try different Buddhist branches to find what suites you.
2. Have a look at these titles and see what interests you http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/snp/snp.1.11.than.html
3. For a deeper look into Theravada tradition read this: http://www.urbandharma.org/pdf/wordofbuddha.pdf
/Victor
G'nite.
They are inconsequential and irrelevant to the forum.
This is a great and wondrous time! I know it might seem confusing and painful, at times, but think of how great it is to be noticing this tangle now. I didn't until I was in my twenties, and by then the knot was already tied tight!
So, in what I have noticed in your relating of your experience, perhaps practicing some meditation would be great for you. Don't worry about uprooting your current view with a new one, or about learning all about what the philosophies and words mean. Look at how you instinctually shed Catholicism because you noticed it just didn't fit right. Trust that instinct!
Before you dive too much into FURTHER ideas and perspectives, consider working on the foundation of your new house. Doing some simple breath meditation can help lay that foundation, giving you a stable place to work out the knots (rather than be consumed or absorbed by them.)
This is one of the clearest, easiest meditative techniques I am aware of, and explained simply:
People who meditate often notice that their mind is more calm, more potent, and more capable of addressing the things that arise. Kind of like cleaning your desk, so you know where your stapler is, your pens are, you have room to write etc. Then, the stack of papers you have to work on doesn't seem quite as problematic, and becomes just a list of things that need tending. Rather than a "chaotic tangled mess".
Good luck!
With warmth,
Matt