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how do you stop wanting?

graceleegracelee Veteran
edited March 2011 in Buddhism Basics
how do you let go of wanting?

just interested to know peoples views on this...

thanks x

Comments

  • zenffzenff Veteran
    You realize that you want something again; you want to stop wanting.

    At that point – I suppose – you are transformed and you stop making an issue out of "wanting" and "not-wanting".
    jones
  • DaozenDaozen Veteran
    First, you must stop wanting to stop wanting, and only then may you actually stop wanting.
    jones
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    wanting is fine.
    harbouring desire and craving - that's not fine.
  • CloudCloud Veteran
    Realize that you can't take it with you when you die, all of the wanting and struggling is just a distraction that takes away from the experience of life, from really living and being free. Walk the path and find out what you really are, and then let go of the strife.
    jones
  • graceleegracelee Veteran
    Ha! now I want to stop wanting to want!
  • SabreSabre Veteran
    edited March 2011
    You can't stop craving/wanting by striving, by wanting, by grasping, by learning or by accepting.

    You can only stop wanting by doing absolutely nothing. Also what helps is to let go of your own desires and care for others more. Spread compassion and kindness. This decreases your own ego a lot if you do it systematically.

    We also protect our ego by lying, gossiping, taking things that are not ours.

    In short, follow the 8-fold path :) Meditate without expecting any results.
  • SherabDorjeSherabDorje
    Mindfulness.
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran
    how do you let go of wanting?

    By developing wisdom and seeing the danger. Also by allowing things to pass instead of than hanging onto them.

    P
  • seeker242seeker242 Zen Florida, USA Veteran
    how do you let go of wanting?

    just interested to know peoples views on this...

    thanks x
    By sitting down on a meditation cushion and practicing it.

  • OneWithFlowOneWithFlow
    Nirvana, the ultimate thing to want, is the eternal present moment, and you must only remove wrong views to access it. Nothing to want. Just stop the wrong views, and you'll have what you want, without even having the opportunity to want it.
  • fivebellsfivebells Veteran
    Gracelee, do you meditate?
  • SherabDorjeSherabDorje
    I wanted my ex-wife for about six years, until it became very clear that the marriage was not good for me.

    It's the same with everything else. If, on balance, it's not good for you, that should become clear, hopefully sooner rather than later. Meditation or mindfulness are good ways to take note of what is and is not good for you.
  • RogerRoger
    edited March 2011
    May I make a few down-to-earth comments about "wanting" material goods?

    We live in a consumer culture. [insert huge percentage here] of the messages we get, including some of those from our friends is about buying stuff. Why? Modern economies depend on constant spending. Why? The answer is complicated and boring AFAIK. Here's a clue: Your spending keeps other people employed so they can spend! :screwy:

    So? "Wanting" is like a virus or a drug in this culture. You get infected or addicted. Buying stuff, taking it home and admiring yourself with your new property: it's like an endorphin rush. It's an addiction because it's unnatural.

    How do you get over it? I do not know!

    I guess the first step is to realize you are being "programmed" to want 24/7/365.

    What "worked" for me? Yeah riiiiight! :D I started giving away and getting rid of the stuff I accumulated. I'm not very good at it (maybe 50% done) but it showed me how absurdly I behaved over the years without even knowing it.



  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran
    how do you let go of wanting?

    just interested to know peoples views on this...

    thanks x
    Pay attention.

  • taiyakitaiyaki Veteran
    edited March 2011
    has that voice in your head, which always convinces that you will be better or happy when you get something.

    has it always been right? do you feel better? or do you move onto something else? do you keep looking? do you keep listening to the false promises that your head speaks of?

    you can start directly seeing this occurring in reality. then let go of wanting. then you need to let go of wanting to letting go of wanting.

    the voice in your head is always just a voice in your head. it's not you. even if it seems like it's giving you good advice. it's not. examine your life and see if things are satisfying, permanent, or separate from you.

    reality is nothing but a projection of your mind. you see what you want to see. you construct your own narrative.

    reality has no narrative. reality is what it is. accept it all, even the voice in your head.

    then you won't see it as a problem. and you won't see it as yourself.
  • sukhitasukhita
    how do you let go of wanting? .....
    By meditating on the junk I have already got....
  • TheswingisyellowTheswingisyellow Trying to be open to existence Samsara Veteran
    Awareness.
  • MountainsMountains Veteran
    how do you let go of wanting?
    You don't. You observe it, and you decide on whether to act on it. But you'll never be able to let go of wanting. The more you try, the less likely you are. Wanting to let go of wanting is, guess what? Wanting! :)
  • pegembarapegembara Veteran
    Realise why wanting/not wanting is a problem. How wanting/not wanting moves the mind causing stress and disturbs contentment. Even wanting to have no wants disturbs contentment.

    Contentment is having no wants.
  • SabreSabre Veteran
    edited March 2011
    When you scratch an itch it usually comes up somewhere else.

    So stop scratching! :D
  • ThailandTomThailandTom Veteran
    edited March 2011
    isn't there a chain of actions that if you break the bottom chain then the rest subsequently break and you no longer strive for anything. I have forgotten exactly what these chains are, is it the 12 links to nibanna?

    My bad, on further research the 12 links are what an ignorant being goes through in life if I am not wrong o.O
  • graceleegracelee Veteran
    hey thanks for the replys..

    fivebells.. i don't meditate daily, i find it really hard to meditate on my own.. i go to a group once a week.

    "what helps is to let go of your own desires and care for others more"

    seems that i need to be reminded of this quite often thanks sabre!

    taiyaki, your post was also very helpful.

    thailand Tom...I'm not sure i understand.. i will look into it

    thanks again
  • specialkaymespecialkayme Veteran
    I'd have to say that craving is my hardest obsticle. I go in waves. Sometimes I want stuff, and I get it. Then I realize what I'm doing and I cut way back. Both end up causing me discomfort.

    If I buy everything I "want" I get surrounded by stuff, and my stuff ends up owning me. If I cease at all, it becomes difficult to function.

    Take shoes for example. I see a nice pair of shoes on a commercial. I want them. They are too expensive. But hey, I've worked hard, I deserve it, right? So I get them. Then I realize they are more than I need, they are a want. But I already own them, so I wear them. I keep wearing them longer than I should. They eventually start to give out. But then I remember how much I paid for them, how I wanted them, and how when I got them it didn't satisfy anything. I know doing the same thing over won't work either. So I put off getting new shoes. Then the old ones give out. My feet start hurting, then my legs, then I'm uncomfortable. Not getting the shoes was just as bad as getting the shoes.

    The middle way is usually best. Get what you need, not what you want. It won't make you feel better, but it won't make you feel worse, which in a way might make you feel better.

    Finding that middle way is the most difficult part.
  • tesstess
    wanting is fine.
    harbouring desire and craving - that's not fine.
    Forgive my ignorance but what is a difference?

  • OneWithFlowOneWithFlow
    wanting is fine.
    harbouring desire and craving - that's not fine.
    Forgive my ignorance but what is a difference?

    I can want something, but understand that my wants aren't the end all and be all, and therefore I will accept whatever is, even if there is a way that I would like it to be.
  • ZaylZayl Veteran
    You can never truly stop wanting, you just need to learn to direct your desire.
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