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Why do 'spiritual seekers' appear a little Weird to non-seekers??
zenmyste
Veteran
I often find that non seekers appear more 'normal' than people who are on a spiritual path..
I have at times thought to myself am i gonna end up weird like these people? because i really dont want to. Its scary meeting some spiritual people. And sometimes when im meditating i sometimes think why am i meditating when my girlfriend doesnt need to meditate.
It often appears to me that non practictioners are the normal ones. People who are not spiritual seem to be able to get on with life easier than someone who is very spiritual and always seeking answers and trying to understand why this and why that.. etc etc..
When some people find out im into Buddhism they might seem shocked and say ''be careful, and i hope you dont become strange and weird like some other people''
(The funny thing is though, i never take offense by the comments because I too understand where theyre coming from
Sometimes when ive visited centres and sanghas, or meditation retreats, some of the people do seem abit strange and Its always slightly put me off
Ive met people who are in their 40s 50s 60s and i see myself thinking god i hope buddhism doesnt make me become like these people
Ive been to centres that appear abit culty and it has been abit scary at times.
Is it just because these people are lost or is it the spiritual path that has made them seem odd
(i hate to use the word odd but there are some people who do put others off.
Another quick story i would like to share is;
i had a friend who was feeling abit down few months back and i suggested we went to a buddhist meditation class.
we meditated for 30 mins then all went down into a dark celler and had to sit down in a circle and chat to each other.
The thing is though, it was like we were in a cult and it was very uncomftable.
Me and my mate were glad to get out of there and started laughing at the fact we were both still alive because it did start feeling like we were gonna get kidnapped. lol
Whats your genuine thoughts about this?
Have you witnessed any 'odd' behavior in spiritual people??
Thanks guys.
I have at times thought to myself am i gonna end up weird like these people? because i really dont want to. Its scary meeting some spiritual people. And sometimes when im meditating i sometimes think why am i meditating when my girlfriend doesnt need to meditate.
It often appears to me that non practictioners are the normal ones. People who are not spiritual seem to be able to get on with life easier than someone who is very spiritual and always seeking answers and trying to understand why this and why that.. etc etc..
When some people find out im into Buddhism they might seem shocked and say ''be careful, and i hope you dont become strange and weird like some other people''
(The funny thing is though, i never take offense by the comments because I too understand where theyre coming from
Sometimes when ive visited centres and sanghas, or meditation retreats, some of the people do seem abit strange and Its always slightly put me off
Ive met people who are in their 40s 50s 60s and i see myself thinking god i hope buddhism doesnt make me become like these people
Ive been to centres that appear abit culty and it has been abit scary at times.
Is it just because these people are lost or is it the spiritual path that has made them seem odd
(i hate to use the word odd but there are some people who do put others off.
Another quick story i would like to share is;
i had a friend who was feeling abit down few months back and i suggested we went to a buddhist meditation class.
we meditated for 30 mins then all went down into a dark celler and had to sit down in a circle and chat to each other.
The thing is though, it was like we were in a cult and it was very uncomftable.
Me and my mate were glad to get out of there and started laughing at the fact we were both still alive because it did start feeling like we were gonna get kidnapped. lol
Whats your genuine thoughts about this?
Have you witnessed any 'odd' behavior in spiritual people??
Thanks guys.
2
Comments
They actually dont seem that bad. They just seem abit 'hippy'.
LOL Oh dear! I was a practicing Pagan for more than 35 years, and I had been to many spiritual retreats, full moon gatherings, and assorted festivals over that time... Odd behavior, weird outfits, (also nakedness), wild hair, body painting, and all personality types, from hilarious 'court jester' types to solemnly serious religious (Pagan, Buddhist, Hindu, Santaria, etc) clergy were in attendance.
There were main pagan rituals at the heart of the festival event, but there were also other more obscure or different rituals and practices going on at different times in different areas. Interesting - but also weird.
To say these experiences were "Odd" would be putting it mildly! ;-)
It was quite a mix of people in one place.
I think one needs to find their own level of weirdness they can tolerate and not be afraid to walk way from the levels that make them uncomfortable. I walked away from groups from time to time. And other times I was drawn in and had very interesting (and/or fun) experiences.
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* People take different roads seeking Fulfillment and Happiness. Just because they're not on your road does not mean they have gotten lost...
* Dalai Lama
From the outside, everyone sees the flaws of other groups. Their flaws are generally no worse than our own. Don't be conned though, they're no better either.
If the people you met were enlightened, I don't think they'd come across as wierd to you.
That video was funny... and yet interesting on several levels.
It's almost like that but not quite.
I like the story of Jesus walking into the desert for 40 days and 40 nights. I don't like it because it is somehow 'good' or 'holy' or worthy of 'praise.' I like it because, for my money, it is purely human. To be among others may be the social imperative but to go alone into uncharted waters is the truth... moment after uncharted moment. It may be frightening and it may be hard, but what other choice is there? Everyone is doing this all the time, no matter how many groups they join or TV shows they watch or applause they offer up or bask in.
In the beginning of Buddhist practice, everyone seeks out agreement. If you agree with me and I imagine you are not entirely crazy, then I feel comforted and may be more willing to pursue my practice. If I read books or go to well-attended lectures or practice sessions ... well, I am not alone. It may be crazy, but at least I have company ... I have agreement ... and that agreement makes me feel better. The desert is not so lonely. But then I start noticing how weird the people I have relied on are and what was once reassurance now turns to doubt. What a bunch of weird-o's. I don't want to be weird like that ... I want to be normal ... and happy.
In the beginning, this is all par for the course. If we have lived our lives relying on what others say or do or think, what other option do we have when we first encounter Buddhism? We rely on others ... other voices, other books, other teachers ... other stuff. We rely on their good news as a means of finding our own. It's OK, but of course it just doesn't work. The desert of this moment and this moment and this moment has nothing to do with 'others.' Your happiness is your business ... this is the teaching of the desert which could care less about what anyone said about 'the desert.'
Being caught between the desire to be happy and the desire not to be weird is OK. But it is at this point -- same for Buddhists, same for non-Buddhists -- that your own patience and courage and doubt are necessary. Determination is strictly personal. There is no measuring it against anyone else's determination or lack of determination. But determination to see things through, whatever the things you have chosen are, is necessary to a more peaceful existence. Carpentry, stamp collecting, Buddhism, love affairs ... see it through and see it whole. The desire for instant gratification -- shazzam! I am 'enlightened' -- nags like the Tooth Fairy. But of course this moment and this moment and this moment aren't in the shazzam business. They are shazzam ... but what you make out of it is your business and your responsibility.
Determination does not mean adding anything or subtracting it either. It just means gathering a courage that -- for once in this life that is full of half measures -- will see things through. With practice, Buddhism loses its weird, loses its special, loses its holiness. It's just what you do because ... well, 'because' is no longer necessary. Practice doesn't make perfect, practice is perfect, whether 'weird' or 'wonderful.' Practice, if you choose it, brings home the bacon.
Just noodling.
Ive got a friend who is the most compassionate, wise and honest person who i know.
(is he spiritual? - NOT AT ALL)
He is just completely normal
when i say 'normal' , i guess i mean, ordinary, doesnt have a practice , doesnt need to meditate, just gets on with life, he is happy, sane, etc etc.. hes just a normal, cool dude.
He doesnt seem lost where-as people on the spiritual path do seem lost
OK, I thought that was really funny. Does that make me bad? LOL
So I don't consider some people normal and others not. They are all just people doing their own thing. Some seek their happiness in sensual pleasures, or in a hobby, some seek it in a romantic relationship, some seek it in spirituality, some in a combination of those. Some ways may be a bit more fruitful in the long end, but it comes down to that we are all just trying to be happy. Reality is beyond 'normal' and 'abnormal'.
The 'Buddhist' people I've met throughout my Buddhist life have been some of the most open and kind people ever. I think it's a shame that this is not what is considered normal by most.
Metta!
should've been
In Buddhist countries it is abnormal to not be a Buddhist.
I have met many different types of people at retreats. Some of them different from me, yes, but I never took this to be an odd or bad thing. I could care less if people think I'm weird or different. The last thing I seek is to be "normal" like everyone else, because the everyday normal I see around me is not all that pleasant. People afraid of who they really are. I admire people who are able to be themselves in any circumstance, regardless of what someone might think of them. They are all very nice, very kind people.
The last retreat I went to, there was a handful of "normal" people that came as a group. They merely tolerated the teachings and meditation, and one of the comments from one of the ladies was "I don't know about this Buddhism thing. I don't do compassion, and I don't know that I WANT to do compassion." If that's normal, count. me. out.
But real monk never seem strange or weird or lost
I guess the ones who seem strange are the Lay people.. Monks dont seem strange at all. But some lay people do. I dont know why.
Just the way they act, speak and be..
I dont want to offend anyone though.. sorry if i have.
"A persona (plural personae or personas), in the word's everyday usage, is a social role or a character played by an actor. The word is derived from Latin, where it originally referred to a theatrical mask. "
And as for you changing into a 'weirdo', well, change happens - but at least with Buddhism you're shown how you can have a hand at guiding that change.
What would you like to be like in 10 years from now?
This statement from genkaku is pretty dead on. Spiritual seekers believe there is more than what we’re seeing. Most people believe what they see in this world is all there is. It’s like going up to someone in a supermarket and trying to explain that we’re all in a prison. They’re not going to buy it, see it, hear it.
When culture tells us that money, career, relationships, and family are the highest of aspirations, how can the average person relate to a relative “weirdo” who feels there’s more to life than these human attachments? Every advertisement is another implication of attachment = a better life.
It is the social imperative to follow the herd, don’t ask questions, consume, etc… When someone does not, naturally they’re seen as strange because what we do not understand, we condemn. When seekers turn their back on the very culture that offers us “happiness,” it’s an insult to the culture, or so they believe. If the basic consumer felt they were right, that their happiness was real, they wouldn’t take offense, would they? Since they do, I think even they know, deep, deep, down, that the seeker, while strange, may be doing important work. To be a seeker goes against the capitalist grain and that is always a touchy subject for most.
Not that there's anything wrong with those things.
If you can't do that, there is little left but the spiritual.
(but in another way)
If you were not one of us, you'd be singing hymns in your local church or more likely not care at all about such useless topics as religion and moralty. You'd think questions like "What's the meaning to it all?" are only for when you get really, really stoned.
So be weird. It's the way you were born. You can't help being what you are. Come out of the closet and dance in the streets with us! Or at least meditate in the zen hall. Whatever rocks your mind.
Woh this is really an interesting topic! After reading the whole lot... I really liked Sabre's answer the best...
"What's normal? It's just what you are used to. If you are used to eating with a fork, it is abnormal to eat with chopsticks and the other way around. In Buddhist countries it is abnormal to be a Buddhist. "
zenmyste, before I became a Buddhist I also had the same thoughts as you... watching my crazy party queen dive big sis turning in to Buddhist, Tibetan Buddhism btw really shook me up... but now I myself is more in to it then she is. In the beginning I thought she was weird... now she thinks I am weird. But to be honest what is weird and not weird is really all just a perception and that changes each moment. Ask yourself what do you like about Buddhism and why did you seek it rather then looking on what others think. What matters is what you think at this juncture. It is your spiritual path not anyone else's
There is just so much variety and life. But no one is showcasing that they are practioners. Just very human.
The people I find most disagreeable are the pseudo spiritual ones. They pretend they're enlightened already and they turn eye contact into a staring match as they invade your personal space and try to give you "loving" touches. They make me cringe so bad.
I actually really love this girl's take on the pseudo spiritual community - http://morespiritualthanyou.wordpress.com/
Yeah, there are plenty of weirdos on the spiritual path. They're not bad for being weird and you're not bad for noticing them, they're just around and you get them everywhere.
And yes, we're all a little weird in our own ways, but I can't help but think that some people push it to extremes just to be obnoxious. Some people are mentally ill, some people have a huge spiritual ego, some people just don't have a clue who they are so they're trying out new personas... There are loads of reasons why weird people are around, but that doesn't make them less weird.
I love normalcy, it seems like the middle way to me. Not too quiet, not too loud, not too in your face, not too much of a wall flower...
I don't think Buddhism will turn you into a kook (although spiritual ego might turn you into an asshole) there are plenty of normal Buddhists out there... I wouldn't worry about it.
That kind of boring help and control over life is not what seekers want - they want action!
I myself openly admit that I paint warhammer figures, read Norse Mythology, meditate and am attracted to buddhism - I guess people think I'm on the geeky side too, but I do not "seek" as much as I just do what pleases me and brings harmony to my life. People respect that and there's no one I cannot have a pleasant conversation with or attend a party with. Being buddhist or being attracted to buddhism does not make you a weirdo, practice makes you a kind and easy-going person who respects himself and others and therefore receives natural respect.
Looking into magic, healing, tarot and spirits - selecting and advertising alternative beliefs and not changing bad habits or anything - will of course make you look a like a freak to "normies"...
Spiritual seekers maybe seem weird because they're not taking the world at face value; they're not just trying to live in it as it appears. They're looking for something beyond the mundane existence, and mundane people don't get it. Regular people cling strongly to happiness and are always struggling to achieve/maintain it... while spiritual seekers attack the root of the problem (that very craving/clinging). So very foreign to most people. That it actually makes people "happy" must confuse them. If they really understood it, they'd be practicing it too!
spirituality isnt bad
http://karunadharmakayabuddhism.org/Page_6.html
The world is on fire with greed hatred and delusion and as Buddhists we are trying to be mindful and extinguish that fire in ourselves.
In metta,
Raven
the crazy ones
Made himself reeeeeeeaaaal popular with the local police and local indigenous folk (not!!!)
http://amarillo.com/stories/082399/usn_missing.shtml
When you look at what all the "normal" peeple have done 2 to the world, I don't mind being calleed weird at all!
http://isnt.autistics.org/dsn-npd-txt.html
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/insanity
Cheers
Personally, I find non-buddhists to be less than normal. For proof, you need to come to where my friends hangout at Leon's. These cultists order strange sounding beers and mixed drinks that the Wizard Miles Macquarrie makes who is arguably one of the best mixologists in the U.S. I, too, am guilty of being part of this cult. When G.O.D. (Grand Old Dude—yep, that's me) enters Leon's, and after I hug everyone, I enjoy a strange sounding drink or two. Then when Philip and Jeff arrive (two great chefs), we sit down together and sing a few lines from "La donna è mobile" which is from Verdi's Rigoletto. How strange is that?
Seekers ask lots of questions because they are now awake enough to realise they know nothing, AND that living on Auto-pilot does not bring happiness or peace.