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Bad Buddha

lobsterlobster Veteran
in General Banter
When I become an enlightened Buddha, which I have pencilled in for March/April 2013, expectations will be high?
New dharma? Profound blessings and insights? Siddhis, rainbows and above all immaculate compassion?

Or of course I might just wake up.

Maybe I will be more mindful, more skilful. Maybe not.
I could end up the worst Buddha in the history of enlightenment.
What sort of Buddha are you expecting to be? :wave:
Nirvana

Comments

  • BhikkhuJayasaraBhikkhuJayasara Bhikkhu Veteran
    the type that grows old and dies..
    blu3reeNirvanaInvincible_summer
  • taiyakitaiyaki Veteran
    Just myself.
    NirvanaInvincible_summer
  • CoryCory Tennessee Veteran
    I am expecting to be who I truly am soulfully. I have learned many things. The most inportant it is to eliminate the ego, and to let the soul flow freely which will allow me to act off of impulse and instinct.
    NirvanaTheEccentric
  • lamaramadingdonglamaramadingdong Veteran
    edited February 2013
    Lobster- will you still be posting here once you're a Buddha? Hope so.
    NirvanaInvincible_summer
  • BhanteLuckyBhanteLucky Alternative lifestyle person in the South Island of New Zealand New Zealand Veteran
    Bad Buddha would be a great movie... Like the awesome Bad Santa and the less good Bad Teacher.
    John Candy as the buddha?
    Or Jeff Bridges all fat and dope smoking.
    Bunks
  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    lamaramadingdong said:

    Lobster- will you still be posting here once you're a Buddha? Hope so.

    Nothing is certain (so I have heard) :wave:

    I may be ahead of schedule. After taking the Pepsi Challenge, I have been unleashed . . .
    http://www.liberationunleashed.com/

    This is what my guide tells me . . .
    As you have no sense of 'self' you require no further guidance for me. I wish you well in your practice. Farewell.
    However with all these rogue Buddhas, guileless guides and well meaning crustaceans about we have to be extra mindful.

  • I_AM_THATI_AM_THAT Veteran
    Are you sure your not a Buddha now?
    Invincible_summer
  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    lobster said:


    What sort of Buddha are you expecting to be? :wave:

    I'm not expecting anything. I'm too busy helping others.

    lobster
  • PatrPatr Veteran
    @lobster,
    Why dont you switch camps instead and become god. Buddha only teaches but god dispenses.

    The new Galaxy S4 will be out soon, for that you can have my vote eternally (or until the S5 comes out). ;)
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    Patr said:

    @lobster,
    Why dont you switch camps instead and become god. Buddha only teaches but god dispenses.

    The new Galaxy S4 will be out soon, for that you can have my vote eternally (or until the S5 comes out). ;)

    @Patr, you aren't questioning Lobster's posts, are you?????

    Patrlobster
  • jlljll Veteran
    you may become an arahant
    but not a buddha.

    an arahant has no mental suffering,
    that is pretty cool.

    please drop me a note when you are sure
    that you are enlightened.
    lobster said:

    When I become an enlightened Buddha, which I have pencilled in for March/April 2013, expectations will be high?
    New dharma? Profound blessings and insights? Siddhis, rainbows and above all immaculate compassion?

    Or of course I might just wake up.

    Maybe I will be more mindful, more skilful. Maybe not.
    I could end up the worst Buddha in the history of enlightenment.
    What sort of Buddha are you expecting to be? :wave:

    blu3reelobster
  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    @lobster,
    Why dont you switch camps instead and become god
    Enlightened Sushi first, Cod next year.
    Also despite my best effortlessness I may only end up an errant arahant . . .
    [lobster hangs head in resignation]

    I hope to be able to say wise things like my mentor, Olli the octopus:

    'Be kind to the fishy and find the sauce of your being'


  • GuiGui Veteran
    Oh lobster, will you please lighten up?
    lobster
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    I'll settle for dispenser of dog treats... that's kind of bodhisattvalike?
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