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A human being not a human doing!

Hello everyone,

I always seem to be caught up in getting things done, feeling there is not enough time, running from list of chores to another. I have a lot going on in my life...I am very busy... and I don't want to be!....

I don't want to rush through life and get to the end and realise I missed it all because i was to busy filling out forms!

I would love to hear from anyone who has managed to become more of a human BEING and how you did it?... obviously you can't just stop doing the household paperwork, housework,personal grooming,caring for others, making a living, etc etc etc... so how do you balance it all??

I would love to hear any thoughts....

must dash I've got loads of pointless errands to run.

Cheerio xxx
lobsterericcris10sen

Comments

  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    Do things at half normal speed. You will get more done. Promise.
    graceleeVastmind
  • ToshTosh Veteran
    edited August 2013
    Mrs Tosh hates seeing me 'being', she'd much rather have me 'doing'.

    She's so annoying. :-)
    graceleeVastmindmrbriteyFlorian
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran
    edited August 2013
    Pay more attention to a few things, rather than a little attention
    for alot of things. Managing a household and a group of people.....
    try to stay organized and prioritize. Also, give out chores.
    Some things will roll
    over to the next day. Just accept that. Cost of doing business....hahaha
    You can't do everything. Don't take it on as guilt.
    I don't balance it....I flow with it. Organization will give the flow
    space to happen :)
    What blocks of time can you adjust...and for what?
    What is important to you, and how can you dedicate more time to it?
  • aMattaMatt Veteran
    As long as we make lists to do, we have lists we want to get done. My partner is like that sometimes. I've seen two distinct ways of her actions. One is she has the list in her hand, and she never rests. Checking boxes like crazy. Then when she sits, she is thinking about what needs to be done. Next is where she has no list. Then she dances from moment to moment with joy, and rests when she sits. She still gets her desire done, but it is without stress. Said differently, when she holds love in her hand instead of the list, the items still get done, and her connection to each event is more authentic, more peaceful. The list comes and goes, but the mindfulness continues, endures.

    Stress pushes us forward onto the next check box on the list. Where is the joy? Where is the peace? During this check box, the mind is on the list. During the next check box, the mind is on the list.

    Drop the list. Look around.
    MaryAnne
  • ZeroZero Veteran
    gracelee said:


    so how do you balance it all??

    By not dividing or categorising activities into 'likes' and 'dislikes'.
    Tosh
  • ToshTosh Veteran
    edited August 2013
    Zero said:

    gracelee said:


    so how do you balance it all??

    By not dividing or categorising activities into 'likes' and 'dislikes'.
    Easier said than done. Have to a method to achieve this?

    Mindfulness springs to mind!
  • seeker242seeker242 Zen Florida, USA Veteran
    edited August 2013
    obviously you can't just stop doing the household paperwork, housework,personal grooming,caring for others, making a living, etc etc etc... so how do you balance it all??
    By not balancing it and just doing what needs to be done moment to moment to moment. If you break it down to these very small moments, just here and now and only that, it's all pretty easy really. For example, household chores. Walk into kitchen. Pick up dish sponge with right hand, pick up dish with left hand, make circle motion on dish with right hand after squirting soap on dish. Do that 10 more times, dishes are done no problem! All very easy things to do. Personal grooming. Walk into bathroom, pull back shower curtain with right hand, turn shower knob to the left. Put right foot and leg into shower, put left foot and leg into shower. Pick up shampoo bottle with right hand, squirt onto hair, etc, etc, etc! Moment to moment to moment, it's all pretty easy stuff really.

    Now how do you get a moment to moment to moment mind? I think that is where a strong daily meditation practice comes in. Just sitting there for a 1/2 hour a day with in breath, out breath, in breath, out breath. This teaches you how to hold a moment to moment to moment mind. Once you learn the moment to moment mind of in breath, out breath, you can then take that and apply it to everyday activities. So instead of moment of in breath, there is moment of scrub dish with right hand. Instead of moment of out breath, there is moment of squirt shampoo into left hand, etc, etc, etc. My zen teacher gave a dharma talk about this once and he ended by saying "Don't worry, everything will get done". :)
    Davetheseeker
  • ZeroZero Veteran
    Tosh said:


    Easier said than done.
    Have to a method to achieve this?
    Mindfulness springs to mind!

    In a way it's easier done than said! Like for example, the washing up is just the washing up but debating it in the mind is another matter... there it can be an immensely disproportionate obstacle!
    I guess generally for method one way of expressing it may be, 'consistent mindful application' (the big picture in the little picture?!)
    In every activity, there is a like and a dislike - a capacity for attraction or rejection - this is natural - being distracted by the stimulus and / or response is I think the cause of many frustrations and once this is reduced and by understanding eliminated, the task is the task, the breath is the breath and life goes on.
    David
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited August 2013
    I think sitting meditation is invaluabe. Also on the spot breathing during the day. Slow down and feel with your senses; your mind might be running a mile a minute. Well that's my advice to myself.
    Davetheseeker
  • DavidDavid A human residing in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Ancestral territory of the Erie, Haudenosaunee, Huron-Wendat, Mississauga and Neutral First Nations Veteran
    edited August 2013
    I've spent so much time and effort rationalizing putting things off that I could have gotten more accomplished than I set out to in the first place with less work.

    We don't do work we are work, so in a sense, we are human doings (verbs) rather than human beings(noun). We are not humans, we are being human at the moment.
  • DavidDavid A human residing in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Ancestral territory of the Erie, Haudenosaunee, Huron-Wendat, Mississauga and Neutral First Nations Veteran
    gracelee said:

    Hello everyone,

    I always seem to be caught up in getting things done, feeling there is not enough time, running from list of chores to another. I have a lot going on in my life...I am very busy... and I don't want to be!....

    I don't want to rush through life and get to the end and realise I missed it all because i was to busy filling out forms!

    I would love to hear from anyone who has managed to become more of a human BEING and how you did it?... obviously you can't just stop doing the household paperwork, housework,personal grooming,caring for others, making a living, etc etc etc... so how do you balance it all??

    I would love to hear any thoughts....

    must dash I've got loads of pointless errands to run.

    Cheerio xxx

    Ask why you do these things. If love isn't the answer then abandon it.

    Love what you do because your actions are your only true possessions.

    Dandelion
  • Hurry up slowly!

    Aldus Manutius was an Italian renaissance writer and printer. He is credited with inventing italics and setting the pattern for publishing as we know it today. His personal motto, Festina Lente - "Hurry up slowly" - remains sage counsel. He captured the motto with an anchor intertwined by dolphins. The rushing dolphins and rugged anchor send a paradoxical truth. True and good progress flows from the gap between impetuousness and procrastination. We are at our best when we make haste and yet don't hurry.

    "Though I am always in haste, I am never in a hurry." --John Wesley

    lobster
  • When you need to do something then do it so completely that nothing or no one is doing it.

  • ZaylZayl Veteran
    If I'm not doing something, then I'm not doing anything. And in this day and age that just plain won't do. Being poor and out of money and still living with what little family you have left while they ridicule your situation isn't exactly conducive to reaching inner peace.

    I'd rather work my fingers to the bone. At least then I can sleep at night.
  • KundoKundo Sydney, Australia Veteran
    gracelee said:

    how you did it?... obviously you can't just stop doing the household paperwork, housework,personal grooming,caring for others, making a living, etc etc etc... so how do you balance it all??

    Namaste,

    You'd be surprised how quickly a terminal diagnosis makes you change your point of view.

    Shitty way for it to happen, but maybe I'll master the Six Bardos this time round :)

    In metta,
    Raven

    lobster
  • KundoKundo Sydney, Australia Veteran
    No one ever said on their death bed - "I wish I'd spent more time in the office"

    In metta.
    Raven
    MaryAnnelobster
  • gracelee said:

    Hello everyone,

    I always seem to be caught up in getting things done, feeling there is not enough time, running from list of chores to another. I have a lot going on in my life...I am very busy... and I don't want to be!....

    I don't want to rush through life and get to the end and realise I missed it all because i was to busy filling out forms!

    I would love to hear from anyone who has managed to become more of a human BEING and how you did it?... obviously you can't just stop doing the household paperwork, housework,personal grooming,caring for others, making a living, etc etc etc... so how do you balance it all??

    I would love to hear any thoughts....

    must dash I've got loads of pointless errands to run.

    Cheerio xxx

    Maybe, have priorities will help. Some jobs have to be done immediately, quickly or they can wait or don't have to be done at all. Then, you can also delegate. And if you know you don't like what you have been doing, just don't do it unless they matter. One has a choice even if it is not a democratic country.
  • howhow Veteran Veteran
    edited August 2013
    gracelee said:

    Hello everyone,

    I always seem to be caught up in getting things done, feeling there is not enough time, running from list of chores to another. I have a lot going on in my life...I am very busy... and I don't want to be!....

    I don't want to rush through life and get to the end and realise I missed it all because i was to busy filling out forms!

    I would love to hear from anyone who has managed to become more of a human BEING and how you did it?... obviously you can't just stop doing the household paperwork, housework,personal grooming,caring for others, making a living, etc etc etc... so how do you balance it all??

    I would love to hear any thoughts....

    must dash I've got loads of pointless errands to run.

    Cheerio xxx

    @Gracelee

    eye, ear, nose, tongue, body, mind
    of
    form, sensations, thought, activity & consciousness.

    Getting caught up in things requires an inordinate amount of attention focused on specific sense gate input to the exclusion of all the others. This is unbalanced.

    The next time you find yourself caught up in anything, try being mindful of all the excluded sense gate input and you might be surprised at what really constitutes balance........anywhere!
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    No one ever said on their death bed - "I wish I'd spent more time in the office"

    I've never said it. :D
    gracelee
  • ShimShim Veteran
    Some basic things I try to do:

    - Stop for three breaths & pay attention. Just three breaths. Anyone can do that. Anywhere. :) (I think this technique is from Thich Nhat Hanh. Not sure though.)
    - Some (not all) things can be left undone or they can be done later. If that allows you to relax & recharge & meditate or whatever you do instead of getting a burnout, that should not be counted as procrastination.
    - Take short meditation breaks. Just a few minutes. (I always fail at this one.)
    - Look around and notice what's going on around you. Just observe. (Even though 'observe' sounds too much like a verb for this. :))

    Sorry to sound like a cheap online dr Phil. :D
    gracelee
  • "Go wash your bowl" replied a zen master after a question from a new member, "what should i do now?" They where finishing eating, and the new member believed he could get some profound answers and new insight from the zen master.

    In zen monasteries they are always keeping things clean and neat, and they do everything with mindfulness. Thick Nhat Hanh has made many gathas for everything he is doing, example:

    51 Drinking Tea This cup of tea in my two hands, mindfulness held perfectly. My mind and body dwell in the very here and now.


    54 Using the Telephone Words can travel thousands of miles. May my words create mutual understanding and love. May they be as beautiful as gems, as lovely as flowers.

    So be mindful in everything you are doing, "her and now" as many other have mentioned in this thread, and your life will not be wasted :)

    Jeffreygracelee
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