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The most important thing to remember?

zenguitarzenguitar Bad BuddhistNew England Veteran

Hello esteemed Sangha, I am curious to know what the Buddhists here think is the most important thing to remember and/or practice when a person is feeling overwhelmed, angry, anxious, depressed, or all around negative. What is the most effective way to deal with these emotions quickly and effectively so they don't spin out of control? I am looking for a concrete, practical, and (hopefully) simple method or practice here, rather than a philosophical explanation. :)

Comments

  • ToshTosh Veteran
    1. Pause, when agitated. (This means I should 'shut up' if I'm angry.)
    2. Speak to someone I trust.
    3. Help someone, or at least turn my mind to someone I can help.
    4. Don't drink.

    That's my immediate action drill.

    zenguitarsovaShoshin
  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran

    Sit straight and firm on a chair. Breathe in. Nothing fancy, no Buddhist stuff ... just breath in until you're finished breathing in. Breathe out. Once again, nothing fancy ... just until you get done breathing out. And again ... breathe in, breathe out. And one more time, breathe in, breathe out. At the end of the last exhalation, smile.

    Repeat this three or four times.

    zenguitarSkeeterkbsovaShoshin
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    Breathe, and stay in the present moment.

    Whatever it contains, is basically all you need right now, to progress.

    zenguitarSkeeterkbnamarupaBuddhadragon
  • Just let it pass, and do this everytime. Eventually we become stronger and our emotions will become just our thoughts. Meditation practice will help reduce negative and unskillful thoughts.

    zenguitar
  • sovasova delocalized fractyllic harmonizing Veteran

    "not i, not me, not mine"

    and observing, as intently as you watch the golf ball putt on the final hole on the pga tour.

    Recommend reading Trungpa Rinpoche... he talks about the texture of various emotional minds, including those of stagnation.

    Read about mindfulness of the body

    that's all i've got to offer in my post-workday delirium =)

    fare well fellow wayfarer

  • sovasova delocalized fractyllic harmonizing Veteran

    @Tosh said:
    1. Pause, when agitated. (This means I should 'shut up' if I'm angry.)
    2. Speak to someone I trust.
    3. Help someone, or at least turn my mind to someone I can help.
    4. Don't drink.

    That's my immediate action drill.

    There is incredibly great power in turning the mind toward someone you can help and pondering how! Fantastic

    Tosh
  • ToraldrisToraldris   -`-,-{@     Zen Nud... Buddhist     @}-,-`-   East Coast, USA Veteran

    "This too will pass."

    Ficus_religiosaBuddhadragonShoshin
  • BuddhadragonBuddhadragon Ehipassiko & Carpe Diem Samsara Veteran

    Ground yourself hard in your body through your breathing.
    When we are in the grip of an afflictive emotion, our first instinct is to hold our breath. Then our heart races, blood flows to our hands and the whole body gets knotted up in a spiral of hit-and-run overreaction.
    If we can skip step one, that is, if we can actively engage in keeping our breathing constant, we can presumably avoid getting hostage to this emotion.

    You can try observing yourself in the situation as if from outside and repeat a mantra such as "Is this worth it?" over and over as you try to keep your cool.
    It usually isn't. So try to avoid reacting in a way that you know you'll regret five minutes later.

    zenguitar
  • HamsakaHamsaka goosewhisperer Polishing the 'just so' Veteran

    Yup, for me, all the above.

    In case I missed it being mentioned, I'll add noticing where, in my body, the sensation of the emotion is. Often it's in the area of chest and belly; and the sensation will have all manner of texture, images. Explore them. Rough emotions are not meant to be exterminated or pushed aside.

    Another thing I do is 'expand around' the sensation. What that will look or feel like for you is personal, but introduce the idea next time you have a troubling feeling -- your body/mind will 'know' what expanding around the sensation means.

    I imagine it is like wide open sky or gentle space widening in all directions around the emotion/feeling.

    What that does is 'make room' for the troubling emotion to just be there, but I (whatever that is) am not being squashed painfully into it or sucked into it like an event horizon of a black hole :D . It is still there, felt, acknowledged -- but not taking up the whole of the sensorium, which makes it easy to lose perspective, or feel pressured to make impulsive decisions unaccompanied by wisdom :) .

    zenguitar
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator

    Nothing, absolutely nothing, lasts forever. No matter how negative, horrible you are feeling, it WILL go away. If you can sit using techniques listed instead of acting, the feelings go away much faster because then you do not have guilt on top of it for your reaction/over reaction in a moment of emotional turmoil. Remember a time you felt really good, at peace, at one with your world, whatever makes you feel most content. And then realize that while you are feeling horrible now, you will again feel the contentment that disappeared and was replaced with sadness, anger, anxiety, and so on. Just like a wave, high and low points and you bop up and down, and realize that neither the trough is bad or the crest is good. The problem is in seeking to be at the crest when you are in the trough, and you cannot be anywhere else at the moment except where you already are.

    MeisterBobzenguitar
  • zenguitarzenguitar Bad Buddhist New England Veteran

    This is great advice people, thanks, will try to put at least some of this into practice!

    lobster
  • DavidDavid A human residing in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Ancestral territory of the Erie, Haudenosaunee, Huron-Wendat, Mississauga and Neutral First Nations Veteran

    If I notice I've watered a seed of depression or rage or another negative emotion, I water a seed of compassion to explore it.

    "Tell me about your temporary self, Depression... Let's turn a light on"

    Thich Nhat Hanh speaks of this practice often.

    zenguitar
  • lobsterlobster Veteran

    @zenguitar said:
    This is great advice people, thanks, will try to put at least some of this into practice!

    It was great advice and we practice during the good, bad and everyday phases to become able to deal with difficulties.

    With experience it is possible to ask, 'what is this' of negative states. I remember doing this when waking up in a depressed state for no reason I could discern. There I was in a state. I tried to identify how it was different to a 'I feel great' awakening. The difference was inconsequential. Some slight differences in physical sensations, a difference in labelling. As a 'patching measure', I relabelled or reframed the sensations as 'happy well being'. Acting as if I was feeling great. It was real enough to feel more comfortable.
    http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_reframing

    I was able to continue, meditate and later find out the cause. If you can not meditate do prostrations.

    These are just masks. Empty drama.

    zenguitar
  • SarahTSarahT Time ... space ... joy South Coast, UK Veteran

    Total newbie to Buddhism but not to the emotions referred to in the original post. Love all the suggestions but as one for whom these have not always been enough (breathing has very negative associations for me as my ex was an opera singer and used to constantly criticise me for the quality of my breathing), the best antidote I have to depression or other unproductive emotions is creativity.

    I do not always have the resources to even smile at another person, let alone leave the house and find someone to "help". I have also learnt to respect others enough to give them the opportunity to learn how to help themselves - being a former provider of unsolicited advice whenever I could. But I can always seek out some form of creativity - whether looking for humour in the situation that has stressed me out so much, a new mantra, working on my ability to let go and trust (I trust in a power greater than me) or just increasing my awareness of past experience that bad times do pass and leave me enriched if I don't beat myself up about it.

    Would be really interested to discover whether any of this chimes with any Buddhist practices?

    Thanks, all, for being here and allowing me to join your community.

    Sarah

    zenguitar
  • Hey zenguitar when ever you can catch yourself lost in any negative thoughts at all try what the others have said, but also try mindful distraction & emotions & feelings control practice..I know a few people will sigh that I've mentioned it again, but it's what did it for me & a few other people i know personally..If you ever feel like crying & can't stop yourself, try the following which works every time: Look left then right with your eyes slowly 6 times, & then try to do a figure of 8 with your eyes slowly 6 times..(example of mindful distraction)..It's unwanted negative thoughts that cause most of our unwanted emotions so the less we entertain those thoughts & the more often we distract those thoughts, the less we will get of them in general until there gone for good..Sarah T mentioned creativity & she's right so never sit there & dwell, instead think about what you could do tomorrow to start to find the things your'd love to do & then do them..If you feel anger arising practice patience every time & try to realize that you need those people who at the moment make you angry, to help you train & learn how to control your own use of anger..So to me loneliness boredom & depression are only sent to try to force us out of our chair, & what's more is i reckon we send them to ourselves..Like i say we manifest all our own emotions & feelings, so that must include anger boredom & depression..We manifest them through too much negative thinking, & our body responds as it doesn't know the difference between real & false emotions..

    zenguitar
  • zenguitarzenguitar Bad Buddhist New England Veteran

    This is great, thanks again everyone. Just one great feature of Buddhism is that it is immensely practical, in addition to having a deep philosophy (for those who want to go into it).

    SarahT
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