Strange experience
Earthninja
WandererWest Australia Veteran
Hi guys! How are you guys all going?
I was wondering if anybody here could help me as I don't have a teacher.
I was walking the dog today and I always do some self inquiry when I do this.
Anyway so I sat down on a shady part of the harbour and I asked myself who am I? Who is the one perceiving? Not an intellectual question but more a feeling.
As usual just silence and resistance by the mind, so I started walking home with the dog.
Suddenly I wasn't walking the dog anymore but just an awareness of everything.
It felt like I was walking in me? I checked in to the body, heart was racing and pulse was up. Sure enough the body was there but I wasn't there. Just feeling the body but not being it.
This lasted right up until work, sort of on and off with intensity.
The feeling that everything is a dream that I am observing, but no tangible me. I don't know who I M looking at in the mirror.
I did a few tests on myself, I am still associating myself with the body at the moment.
Is this just placebo? Something I have read that I am believing into existence?
What I am going to do is to continue to meditate and self inquire but I want to know if this is a usual experience others have had?
There was not anything thunderous about this experience, no moments of unshakable clarity as to who I am.
Just the feeling I am a dream. As in everything was me but not me.
It's not as strong now, I am still unsure if what happend was real or a trick of the mind.
I guess it doesn't really matter at the end of the day.
Thanks guys, hope I haven't waffled to much.
Chris
Comments
@Earthninja: I have also had this experience where all out of the blue, I feel as if "something else" was looking through my eyes, moving my limbs, living a life that all of a sudden turns hazy and dream-like.
Like you said, nothing thunderous about it: it just came in a flash, without much fanfare and Sturm-und-Drang.
But with the same speed, the landscape wiggled back into focus and life went on by.
I try not to get too entangled in these kind of experiences, nor make much of them.
I acknowledge them and let them pass, and keep schlepping on.
I think you had a prolonged 'Ahaaah' moment.
But as you rightly say,
>
It matters, because it was a milestone. But just sit on it, check how far you've come, ponder on how far you MAY have to go - then, just keep walking, one step at a time.
Glad it was a cool experience, but then, everything helps....
Hmm sounds similar but the vision or clarity is/was exactly the same as before. The dreamlike quality is more from a perspective rather than vision. No hazyness just this expansion. Instead of being the body looking at the world, you are the body, as well as the whole world.
The vision then and now is identical, I just feel I am the body/mind(subconsciously) Albeit a little more illusive and shaky now. This stuff is really hard to put in words,
@federica thanks, I know I just need to keep looking.
I am not really sure of anything anymore.
Good. That, believe it or not, is progress.
You should be sure of nothing.
I still get shivers up my spine when I think of the few times I've had that experience.
No idea what it means and stuff still has to get done. It may not even mean anything and that's ok too.
I'm glad it happened and will be glad if it happens again or not.
As certain commentators would put it - it's the flip, that follows the flop, and that's progress. Placebo - Forget that! That's an experience you are having - enjoy it.
I walk my dog and have come to use her as an example of my sem mind - I let her off to run freely in the park and she goes and shits here there and everywhere, and I just go pick it up in posh smelly bags and dump them in the bins provided, but as we walk through several parks each day, she knows when she must come under control and expects me to put her on a leash and she waits patiently for me by the park gate. I am then in control, not her, and she knows it.
So it is with the thing that is the real you - there are times when you can let that real you be in control, and be taken for a walk, at it's pace and that is well - nice!.
I hope the real you remembers to take the bags to pick up the shit you leave behind
I hope this poem “I Am Not I” brings something alive to the experience
it is by JUAN RAMÓN JIMÉNEZ
I am not I.
I am this one
walking beside me whom I do not see,
whom at times I manage to visit,
and whom at other times I forget;
who remains calm and silent while I talk,
and forgives, gently, when I hate,
who walks where I am not,
who will remain standing when I die.
My sense is that the surprise/delight/joy/tears/fear that rise up in the presence of an ah-ha moment -- the contrast to what has come before and the longing to prolong this sense of clarity -- is not only an advertisement for another, less-fuddled perspective but also an advertisement to get to work -- to practice away the conviction that this state is "better" or "extraordinary" or somehow 'separate' from the daily life that 'preceded' it.
If it is better ... is that Buddhism?
If it is worse ... is that Buddhism?
If it is separate ... is that Buddhism?
If it is unified ... is that Buddhism?
If it is woo-hoo ... is that Buddhism?
If it is boo-hoo ... is that Buddhism?
If it is special .... is that Buddhism?
If it is not special ... is that Buddhism?
Thank goodness for practice.
Thank you all. Very incredible feedback.
"There was a young man who said though, it seems that "I" know that "I" know, what "I" would like to see is the "I" that knows "me" when "I" know that "I" know that "I" know !"
Alan Watts
Sounds to me like you had some perceptual boundaries fall away, and you were fully aware of it and the results of 'losing' those boundaries. I think it is awesome. Much, much more awesome than the silly words I used to describe it.
Douglas Harding's book "On Having No Head" comes to mind.
I didn't have an experience like yours but I did feel like I was being aware of awareness, because of my experience I have started to practice self inquiry taught by Sri Ramana Maharshi, I'm now practicing and staying on the feeling 'I am' as taught by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, I'm reading a book called I Am That by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj.
Good. I can relate this to similar moments. Quite a genuine and I feel confirmatory experience.
This might be a useful explanation of similar experiences:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)
. . . as people mention . . .
thank goodness for practice!
Nothing else is required
Thanks again for the posts guys, very reassuring that I am on the right track.
I know not to get attached to the experience, as the problem is I'm attached to delusion.
All the best wishes guys.
Looks like some people on here had some non-Buddhist realizations but have had Adviatic ones, it is really very interesting and cool
@Earhninja Thank you for sharing your experience and I am really happy for you.
My mind does that too, it parses and sorts. I wonder if a non-Buddhist yet Adviatic experience conditions a non-Buddhist yet Adviatic awakening :buck: ? If I were to engage my sorting mechanism, I'd say the spontaneous experiences I've had over the years were far more Adviatic than Buddhist, at least on the surface. It has given me a soft spot and curiosity toward Advainta.
@Hamsaka I wonder about that too, It is all very mysterious, I very recently started to learn about Advaita, I know that real understanding comes from practicing and seeing for yourself, so I'm just keep practicing and self inquiring.
Interesting that @bookworm mentions Advaita.
I am in Buenos Aires right now, and only yesterday was I browsing through my bookcase at my Mom's home.
There are plenty of early 20th century books on Vedanta Advaita that I used to read when I was a child...
I'm not sure those definitions are sufficiently distinct to enable a reasonable determination on say, a like for like basis.
Encouraging that you are aware of what may otherwise manifest as an automatic assumption.
Strange experiences? Perhaps. More likely because there is mind we do not yet understand. In the same way people who do not understand the natural create the supernatural.
have you read the Harry Potter series? In the last book Harry meets Dumbledore in the 'afterlife' or 'between life' or whatever; they have their talk, and at the end, as Dumbledore fades and Harry goes back to 'life', Harry asks "Professor, is this all real, or is it just happening inside my head?"
Dumbledore replies "OF COURSE it is happening inside your head, Harry. Why should that mean it's not real?"
So true! It's all one.
What I mean by real in this context I guess is not a false belief.
As if the mind created the experience and I believed it as "real"
Like when we experience suffering... Sure the suffering is there but there is no one suffering. (In reality)
It's all these false beliefs.
So I guess I was asking to see if this is a usual experience, that way I will know somewhat that I am on the right track.
The only solace was I could observe the person. And not be the person.
I do apologise if my words are misleading it's so hard to put this in words.
Especially over the internet! Haha.
There are many subjective experiences that arise:
Euphoria, sense of oneness, samadhi, kensho, glimpsing the bull etc.
An objective experience is one that does not arise but we can be aware of it. In other words the presence is always there but monkey mind is chattering over meaning, other distractions - the usual jabbering.
This is why it is important to be open and relaxed about arisings and consider them as almost [shrug, yeah whatever]. This does not undermine them it gives a context and often a confirmation.
In a similar way to your experience, it is almost as if one says, 'yes this is a genuine experience but the genuine is not experienced'.
Your words are not misleading in the least.
.
I remember meditating some time again and felt like my body disappeared. I just couldn't fell it anymore.....all that was left was a heart beat! It was pretty cool.
"Strange experience "
Shunryu Suzuki: "Nothing Special"
Thanks @Shoshin. Spot on. Something and Nothing. It is important to realise that despite the inter sangha, 'my practice is more profound than your cushion method', all in essence are simply sitting.
Yes some learn to occupy monkey mind with walking, chanting, breath or wind attention (pardon me) or being attentive to the moment. However . . .
Can you sit at ease after a life practice dedicated or hampered by noise, internal or external?
I remember a lama talk on how he was doing his secluded retreat whilst the noise of building work was around him. I have that noise around me. Solution. Sit with the noise. You can sit with silence, what's the issue? Just sit.
Pardon me, time to enjoy some drilling . . .
great you have had an insight @earthninja
Now let it go and keep busy living your life.
Or value such experiences and stop keeping busy.
Let go of all phenomenon right. Good advice.
But As mooji said : "stop trying to live your life, you are life"
@lobster have you heard Shunryu Suzuki Roshi explaining the difference between "sound" & "noise" ....
"If you change the way you look at things the things you look at change!"
My apologies @Earthninja, for the slight derailment.... . :wave: ..
@Shoshin nothing to apologies for
thanks for the post. Actually very relevant.
Hi @Earthninja
I am happy you are finding yourself. Haha. Tongue sticks itself out on that one.
My friend, your words are very good to read. As I have some resources which I value very deeply, I will give you my thoughts on the matter. Ultimately, your experience and investigation are up to you, and don't get too strung in on language.
Co-incide-ent-ally, was reading this
http://awakeningtoreality.blogspot.com/2014/10/totally-manifest-nothing-hidden.html
Perhaps it resonates with your experiencing.
You will find that in verbalizing experiences, words can be totally inadequate, my thoughts on this are: don't give up, also, don't get frustrated, it's natural, and when the right words fall into place, you will feel great, but it's important to be patient without ambushing.
Be inspired in your practice. This is a really happy moment and bring that joy with you where-ever you go.
Although you see the inconstancy of dharmas, help sentient beings become relieved of their suffering[s]. Stoke this intention like the great ember of a huge fire.
Garchen Rinpoche cautions not to cling to the notion that " I realized {blank}" when {blank} was the experiencing. His teachings, as well as the teachings of many masters, have really helped me greatly in my life and I am ever-thankful.
May this be a cause for luminosity to do its thang, and enlighten.
@sova beautiful words, thank you so much.
Thank you for the link, I have been on this blog before. I will follow the link.
Your advice is excellent. May you be free also
Metta chris
Here is a pic for you all. This Stupa is in a wonderful and very peaceful place in the mountains near Malaga in Spain. A great place to meditate.