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What is your biggest attachment?

So, what would you say your biggest attachment(s) is(are)? Maybe relationships, wordly pleasures, etc? :)

Mine are def relationships and possibly food and some other hobbies :)

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Comments

  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    edited June 2015

    Dharma.

    However I feel you mean impeding attachment? I would still say dharma, funny as that might seem.

    To perhaps put this in a context that might explain that. I am attracted to religious philosophy, in particular dharma. To be independent of it would mean giving up my hobby ... which is dharma. Hope that explains it a little ... :)

    dantepwyagr
  • dantepwdantepw Veteran

    @lobster nice, lobby! And yes, I mean your biggest attachment in a more wordly sense that maybe could generate suffering :)

  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran

    Sort of the reverse -- worrying (clinging) too much to health issues.

  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran

    Ah suffering. Of course. In that case:

    • Chocolate
    • Sex (see chocolate)
    • gossip
    • technology and gadgets
    • movies
    • vanity
    • laziness

    OK better stop there, too long already ...

    Earthninjadantepwroots
  • KundoKundo Sydney, Australia Veteran

    Definitely validation in relationships. Particularly my current one. More than anything I want to get engaged. I think a lot of it is because I want to feel "secure" and loved. But really, a ring and wedding never stopped my ex husband from cheating on me, so it's a very illogical attachment.

    At least that's what I keep telling myself ;)

    _ /\ _

    lobsterEarthninja
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    Shall I just write a list and get it over with?

    MY opinions (which of course are worthy, valid and far superior to anyone else's although of course, I can drop them in a jiffy. Of course. No, really, I can. Honest....)

    Food. Great comforter in times of crap. And sad to say (no violins please) I've been through a world of crap and back....

    Sex. (No, that's it, that's all you're getting.)

  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    This thread is making me into a spiritual hypochondriac. ;)

    lobsterEarthninjaDaviddantepw
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran

    I am attached to not being criticized.

    KundoBunks
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    Would you like us to help with that? ;)

    WalkerlobsterEarthninjakarasti
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    edited June 2015

    @SpinyNorman said:
    Would you like us to help with that? ;)

    such compassion ... [lobster wipes away salty tear] o:)

    Earthninjaroots
  • @dantepw said:
    So, what would you say your biggest attachment(s) is(are)? Maybe relationships, wordly pleasures, etc? :)

    Mine are def relationships and possibly food and some other hobbies :)

    Struggling with peanut butter these days. Morning smoothie, evening smoothie, I put a dollop in the middle of my salad yesterday (worked well!) and have even been witnessed sticky my mucky paw in the jar for a quick scoop.

    Earthninjadantepw
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    You may have to enlarge this picture (press 'ctrl' '+') to see what constitutes 200 calories of each item - but peanut butter is one heaped teaspoonful.....

  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    @lobster said: such compassion ... [lobster wipes away salty tear] o:)

    I know, always happy to help, it's part of my Hinyana bodhisatta training. ;)

    lobster
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    Oooh, sarcasm sure is getting a double dose of walkies and a good airing, today....

  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    Lobsters and hedgehogs, eh?!

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    One can give you a pinch, the other can give you a pr....

    never mind.....

    KundoWalkerlobster
  • KundoKundo Sydney, Australia Veteran

    Actually another attachment of mine I am really trying to work on, is my love of substituting as many words in a sentence as I possibly can with my swear words of choice when I get angry. Heck, I just love dropping swear words regularly (sshh @federica ).

    But at the risk of wearing out my warnings here and the IRL requests from my daughter, I am working on refraining. It physically pains me at times. Whoever said words can never hurt me, had not spent the time I have on refining swearing in seven different languages :/

  • WalkerWalker Veteran Veteran

    my comfortable bed, carnivorism, and generally, a high-carbon lifestyle

    lobsterEarthninjaHamsaka
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran

    @Jeffrey said:
    I am attached to not being criticized.

    :)

    Like many here, I find you praiseworthy. You have the integrity to be honest, open and self examining. It is a crucial skill allowing objectivity, compassion, understanding and empathy to develop.

    Nobody likes to be thought badly of. However sometimes the Malamatiyya has lessons for the most anti-[insert some arbitrary behaviour] ...
    http://zoya-thewayofasufi.blogspot.co.uk/2011/05/sarmad-heretic-sufi-apostate.html

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    @lobster said:Nobody likes to be thought badly of....

    Meh. Goes with'the territory'....After a while, you appreciate the problem is as much "theirs" as "yours"...

    lobster
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator

    My views. There are some that I hold where even if I logically understand others are free to hold their opposite views, I heartily disagree that their views can also be considered correct. Think we need to bring a mine to our wilderness area? Well, you are free to hold that opinion, but I will repeatedly tell you how, and why, you are so, so wrong. Different view of gay marriage? Also wrong. No getting around that. Voted for the wrong person? SO very wrong. And I will let you know it, too, if you give me the chance.

    I've gotten much better about not commenting on the things I disagree with. I get up, find something to do for a bit and most often don't even remember what I got worked up about. But there are some views I am very attached to, and those who don't agree are not only incorrect, but they are stupid cavemen, too.

    So much work to do.

    lobstersilverHamsakadantepw
  • dantepwdantepw Veteran

    @federica said:
    You may have to enlarge this picture

    wow! I have loads of calories unconsciously!

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited June 2015

    (if it's any comfort, enlarging the picture does NOT increase the calories....) :winky:

    dantepwKundo
  • bookwormbookworm U.S.A. Veteran

    My family, and Indian tea.

  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran

    Lust.

    Attachment to my beautiful kids.

  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran
    edited June 2015

    @Jeffrey said:
    I am attached to not being criticized.

    Interesting @Jeffrey.

    I was recently made aware of Avoidant Personality Disorder https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder which I would suggest I would've been diagnosed with in my younger days.

    One of the symptoms is Hypersensitivity to rejection and criticism.

  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited June 2015

    @Bunks I think I don't have 90% of those traits and in a lot or even most of cases I am the opposite. Just an example I have had agorophobia but it was due to paranoid delusions. Once those were medicated I had no agorophobia. I made my comment because I find in many cases my motivation for something or other is due to fear that I am in the wrong. Even if it's a subtle observation rather than a gross observation. I am talking out when you tease out motivations to understand why you are behaving or thinking some way.

    lobsterBunks
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran

    @dantepw said:
    And yes, I mean your biggest attachment in a more wordly sense that maybe could generate suffering :)

    I feel mine are all centered around having a body. The body/mind is in my experience a dependent entwining. This is one of the great insights of Eastern mysticism. Denying or damaging the body was part of the Buddhas starvation asceticism.

    The mind works differently dependent on age, hormonal balance, food intake, health, stress level etc.

    So maybe the biggest attachment is the body ...

    dantepwrootsBeej
  • nakazcidnakazcid Somewhere in Dixie, y'all Veteran
    edited June 2015

    My biggest attachment is probably worry. I worry about things I can control, and things I can't control. The ones I do have some control over, I usually do nothing about. The ones I can't ... well rather pointless, eh? My most harmful attachment (to myself) is anger, and the one I'm trying to focus my efforts on. I'm also too hard on myself when I do get angry, and that's another attachment I also need to let go of. Want some more?

    lobsterdantepw
  • dantepwdantepw Veteran

    That is interesting, @Jeffrey ! :) I used to hatr being criticized as well, until i practiced a lot and, after a couple months, got pretty ok with other peoples opinion. Personally i find it imprisoning living through other peoples eyes, so I work a lot on breaking free from that!

    @lobster agreed! :) but would we be in peace without the body?

  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran

    @dantepw said:
    but would we be in peace without the body?

    Personally I doubt we would be anything without a body. Never been without one as far as I can remember ... B)

  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    You had a body?! Sheer luxury, all we had were hungry ghosts!

    Kundolobster
  • nakazcidnakazcid Somewhere in Dixie, y'all Veteran

    @lobster said:
    Personally I doubt we would be anything without a body. Never been without one as far as I can remember ... B)

    Someday soon, maybe you'll be able to upload your mind to the Internet and find out.

    http://www.ibtimes.com/ibm-creates-cognitive-chip-mimics-human-brain-1652858

  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran

    My biggest one is talking for sure. I'll talk to anyone....anywhere. And 'I' am under the impression that everyone wants to hear what I have to say about everything. The more I try to be quiet...the more I feel like I'm going to bust...

    .....but the last couple of months have put me in a funk. I notice I'm quiet more. Even in the brain/train of thoughts..Anyway....and I'm attached to my hairdo....and flip flops.

    I'm pretty attached to my inner Pollyanna too.

    karasti
  • seeker242seeker242 Zen Florida, USA Veteran

    I think my biggest attachment would just be "me, myself and I", ha!

    Because without that, I would not be attached to "my money", or "my relationships" or my body, my youth, my health, etc, etc!

    Vastmind
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran

    @dhammachick said:
    Whoever said words can never hurt me, had not spent the time I have on refining swearing in seven different languages :/

    Your skills are very specialised.

    You are probably aware of this Chinese phrase:
    Ez men est khazer zol rinen ariber der bord.
    ... which roughly translates as 'Duck it!'

    Kundo
  • rootsroots Veteran

    @nakazcid said:
    My biggest attachment is probably worry. I worry about things I can control, and things I can't control. The ones I do have some control over, I usually do nothing about. The ones I can't ... well rather pointless, eh? My most harmful attachment (to myself) is anger, and the one I'm trying to focus my efforts on. I'm also too hard on myself when I do get angry, and that's another attachment I also need to let go of. Want some more?

    I'm sorry for your comment, i think i can empathize. I've always been a spiritual wanderer, testing out this faith and that prayer, in an effort to quell the anxiousness.

    I resonate strongly with Buddhism because of the ideas of mindfulness and compassion. I've learned to become detached, and through losing my body (relativity), I can gain a objective perspective on what it is I am suffering through. If I can see the situation without judgement, I can begin to form a strategy to heal -

    In example, the fights I've been having with mom since I was a teenager - well I'd try to tell her how I feel, shed avoid me, I'd get fed up and tell her, she would get scared and verbally attack me, I'd get scared and verbally attack her, we'd separate, I would feel guilty and seek forgiveness, she'd take a position of power and grant me a conditional reprieve - based on the notion I wouldn't try to tell her how I feel ha-ha - a cycle as they say.

    And god the anxiety associated with this whole process. I was a nervous wreck in my family home.

    Through meditation I've been granted the perspective to recognise the cycle - and through compassion I've learned to STOP JUDGEMENT of her and I within my mind-chatter. I've considered that I really get anxious around her because she wasn't around when I was really young and being abused by others. I consider that she's afraid to talk about how she feels because of abuse that she has gone through.

    In that moment I can find forgiveness. But further, I can recognize that if I wasn't anxious to communicate with her, or if these 'bad' scenarios hadn't occurred, and if I wasn't given the chance to break the pattern of abuse by excepting that I couldn't change her, and realise that my healing could occur exclusively within my own heart and mind -

    Well, I would not have developed the level of compassion and understanding that I now have, something that's transferable to many other situations.

    For me, that's escaping the karma, breaking the cycle, and dealing with the anxiety. It was my ironic realisation that suffering is not only universal, but can also function as the map to my release.

    As for vices - Peaky Blinders BBC2. Historical drama. Love it.

  • nakazcidnakazcid Somewhere in Dixie, y'all Veteran

    @roots said:
    STOP JUDGEMENT of her and I

    I'd say you're on the right track. I'm not sure that's the official antidote for worry, but belittling yourself and others, even if only in your own thoughts, is really damaging. If it weren't for that stupid, self-critical voice in my head...

    silver
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran
    edited June 2015

    @seeker242 said:....."my money", or "my relationships" or my body, my youth, my health, etc, etc!

    Sheer luxury! :)

  • rootsroots Veteran

    @nakazcid said:

    Thanks for reading my rant either way :D

    nakazcid
  • ToshTosh Veteran

    It seems to be my thoughts.

    ShoshinBeej
  • BuddhadragonBuddhadragon Ehipassiko & Carpe Diem Samsara Veteran

    Adrenaline is my biggest attachment nowadays.

    I have engaged in a dangerous game which was just too compelling to resist.

    Beej
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    edited June 2015

    @dantepw said:
    So, what would you say your biggest attachment(s) is(are)? Maybe relationships, wordly pleasures, etc? :)

    Mine are def relationships and possibly food and some other hobbies :)

    It is a good question. It has layers, like cake [back ... monkey mind ... back ... no cake for breakfast ... sorry ... distracted for a moment]

    Good question as we settle into awareness of monkey body/mind ... the thrill of adreneline, the relationship to chocolate or relationships, the attachment to body etc ...

    Constant question really. What is the nature of our being and end of being attached?

    Today I iz mostly being attached to ... Life

  • mmommo Veteran

    I think I attached to myself too much. If someone said something which I don't want to hear I find it hard to skillfully deal with it. Today, I think I lost a long term friend because of her other friend who like to call me by nicknames I don't ask for. I mentioned some time back that I don't like that and I want mutual respect. She know it and she does that even more after. I start to feel like it is a bullying.

    So I ask her if she don't say anything when she doesn't have anything nice to say. She said that I am too serious for her to be friend with her and will not talk to me any more. She said she is joking around and don't even know what I am upset about. My friend live with her and she probably in awkward place right now. The girl takes offence in my question and doesn't think the terms she call me is not crossing the line.

  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    edited June 2015

    Well, it isn't up to her to decide if she's crossing the line. It's up to you. Remember, being Buddhist doesn't mean you have to be a door mat.

    Let it lay for a while.

    Walker
  • WalkerWalker Veteran Veteran

    @mmo I agree with vinlyn. Sounds like your friend is stuck in a hard place, and that the roommate is forcing the issue with her, making her choose between the two of you. That isn't friendship, it is bullying, and hopefully your friend will see that on her own.

  • mmommo Veteran

    I feel relieved actually that I don't have to hear anymore from her. I am staying quiet with my friend for some time and be in touch with her after some time. They are sharing the place for about 2 years now.

  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran

    @dantepw said:
    So, what would you say your biggest attachment(s) is(are)? Maybe relationships, wordly pleasures, etc? :)

    Mine are def relationships and possibly food and some other hobbies :)

    Just a reminder to get your priorities right
    http://m.imgur.com/6RoAHTz

    dantepwKundoroots
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