Overwhelmed
WMStanford
Spring, TX New
I wanted to ask you all, when you were starting out, did any of you feel overwhelmed? Lobster said something in one of his posts, I found too really hit home. He mentioned, "the honeymoon period.." and how when we start out we want to try everything. I can relate to that, because being so new, that is EXACTLY, what I am feeling. It is almost overwhelming, which is worrisome for some reason? Maybe it is because in my decision to follow this path, I worry about not doing something in the right order or correctly, or worse yet not doing anything. I suppose one could say merely pondering these changes is a step forward, as the closer it is I am to being mindful of these actions, the more gravity they will start to have on my actions over time. Then there is the distinct possibility, that my worries are well founded.
Sorry if I am babbling, this is just kind of where I am at these past few days. Trying to see how this will all fit together for me.
Thank you for listening. Have a great weekend, All.
Comments
Yeah feeling overwhelmed is a challenge. So it is what it is and it is not the wrong experience. Whatever is there you work with that. So it's not like you can't start being Buddhist until you solve the problem of being overwhelmed. Rather this is your experience and challenge. For myself when I started practicing Buddhism I was overwhelmed already by life. I had just developed a mental illness and lost my trajectory into a career in science and the emotional fallout was quite overwhelming. Buddhism itself wasn't overwhelming because I took it at my own speed.
I think it is natural that we experience the overwhelmingness of life until we have the techniques to understand and deal with what's going on. Or at least change or re-orient our view completely so that we have a clearer perception of what is happening.
I think there will be benefits no matter how lightly or deeply you step into studying the teachings of the Buddha.
And if I may just post a sutra excerpt, one of my guiding stones in this web of living and connecting and prospering and floating and being...
from http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an03/an03.099.than.html
Many blessings to you @WMStanford as your understanding of the cosmos and helping within it grow.
As the guy in the movie, Limitless said, humans have a tendency to overextend themselves. In other words, we often bite off more than we can chew. Same with anything - Buddhism, too. My health and my stamina were (are) not so great these days but I said 'were' because even though I'm at a lower ebb right now, I've learned to be a whole lot more accepting instead of fighting it. I've had my scares recently, but if not for Buddhism, I would be in worse shape. I don't study Buddhism in-depth like a lot of people do - that book I mentioned isn't the only book I read about it, but it's my Bible of sorts because it gives all the basics. You're in the driver's seat, so just sit back and cruise.
Top tip. Good plan. Middle Way. Exactly so.
We are on a path to overcome suffering ... 'Take it easy'
Put a child in a room with a wealth of new and exciting toys to play with, and they're all wow'ed out! They want to touch every one, try them all, get them all out of their boxes and packaging, and experience the fun of having all these toys for themselves, to play with...but first he wants to play with this one....no....this one...no, hang on, that one looks amazing....oh, hang on - what about THAT one over there....?? and that one - ?! Oh boy, oh, boy, oh boy!!
The kid is crazed by the sheer, overwhelming choice of goodies at his disposal...so he frenetically goes round the room beginning to play with each toy...until..... you walk in a half hour later, and he's sitting down with some stickle-bricks.....
"Don't you like all the other toys?"
"Yeah, but there's just too much to do all at once, so, I'll play with this one for a while, then I'll maybe move onto that one... and then perhaps, later on, I'll take a look at that one.... How long do I got?"
"Oh, take all the time you want dear! They're not going anywhere....!"
@federica is right ...
some might quote, 'you have less time than you think'
BUT and it is a big butt [tee hee] 'truth is about time, place, context and understanding'. You must relax and ensure you do not have a dharma melt down.
... time for a story ...
I was working quite near to Chithurst Monastery in Sussex. Being a semi-Buddhist I payed them a visit. Hurrying through the country lanes to be in the midst of the Sangha, ahead of me was a monk, leisurely strolling to what I later found out was his one meal of the day.
I slowed down and watched. I had to slow down considerably as he was taking time to observe hedgerow flowers. His pace made dwaddling into a speed event. I am glad to say I never did catch up and am getting slower ...
WMStanford, pick up a practice which feels ok, and do it for 2 hours straight. Then you will be overwhelmed, but in a different way.
@WMStanford -- Before you could ride a bicycle, it was enormously difficult. How come everyone else seemed to do it with such ease and confidence?!
One of the problems with entering the Buddhist arena is that there is a desire to get it "right." It's treated as if it were some corporate ladder-climb. But with Buddhism it is also important to get things "wrong." Seriously: Getting things "right" and getting things "wrong" amount to the same thing ... getting things right.
Remember, you survived a time when you knew little and cared less about something called "Buddhism." The odds suggest you won't drop dead if you somehow do something "wrong." Likewise you are unlikely to be somehow 'more' alive if you do something "right."
Find some small bit of practice -- chanting, meditating, dancing, breathing, whatever -- and then do that. And keep doing it. Pay attention. Take responsibility. Fall off the bike. Get back on.
You're doing fine.
I felt the same, but I found I had to work through it all to find what I needed. It was kind of like gold panning. I started out with a full pan and had to find the nugget at the bottom that worked for me. Just taking a scoop off the top might have worked, it might not. For me, it was worth the time to sift through it all and narrow down to what worked and what I felt connected with. Yes, we always have that "limit" of time, but you can meditate no matter what practice you end up going with. As you explore, make sure you meditate and keep the core of Buddhism in mind. The rest is all details that help you to understand and learn how to practice and live that core foundation. We feel overwhelmed when we have to make a choice and there is more information than we can make a choice with. Just give yourself permission to take your time. You will find some things you connect with, and other things that don't appeal at all.
Don't worry.
Remember, it is just like when you began to walk or when you first learned to ride a bike or to drive a car. Just relax, dive in, don't sweat it if it isn't perfect, fall, get back up, do it again, repeat as often as necessary (which will be often).
Enjoy your ride.
In the service, there used to be (probably still is) the joke about the 8 steps to screw in a light bulb. It included equipment needed, approach, extraction, re-approach, installation Steps 1,2 & 3), verification, sign off.
This is your light bulb installation.
Babysteps. This isn't difficult. Things like being kind and truthful, not harming anyone are plain, common decency. Mindfulness makes you aware of your actions and how they resonnate within you and with others.
IMO, you can do all this and slowly acquire the theoretical background to strengthen your own convictions. Try not to get lost in your head. If you do, get back to the eightfold path and 4 noble truths.
There is no 'right' order @WMStanford .... Chaos is the order of the day
Be patient.... it will all working out in the end...The path will begin to unfold....
Outstanding, overwhelmingly good advice guys [lobster glows with dharma pride].
I particularly liked @genkaku advice and @Shoshin pic.
Hope we have not overwhelmed our dharma nooby?
Twas nothing special @lobster
(However...I guess every picture tells a story )
Thank you all so very much for all of your words of obvious Wisdom! This weekend was rougher than normal, and I feel down... A LOT! :-) However it was ok, I seemed to catch myself quicker when flying into fits of selfUNawareness, and lack of patience with my kids, and work, and life.. Things seemed to reside a little quicker...So, thank you to all of you. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I already see very small, yet quantifiable differences!
Hope you all have a great week! I am trying to check in as often as I can...it is always nice to see the new comments. I always know with each new comment, there is learning to be done!
Cheers, my Friends!
Hi there WMStanford! (And hello to everybody else. I am new to the boards!)
I am pretty new to Buddhism. Quick background, I studied Buddhism a couple of decades ago in college, and have admired it ever since from a cultural, intellectual, and historical perspective. But it was only recently when my life began to crumble apart that I approached Buddhism again, and I got it, at a deeper level than my intellectual understanding. It made sense, it clicked, I was in a place to see the puzzle pieces connect, whatever. So I bought a bunch of books, did a ton of research on the internet, watched YouTube videos, etc. Like you, I was quickly overwhelmed by it all and despite all of the talk of liberation, I was feeling pretty darn oppressed. There are so many schools, levels, perspectives, opinions on Buddhism, and surprisingly many of them are in conflict. The internet is filled with people squabbling over what the Buddha said, what a Buddhist should do, who is a Buddhist, who isn’t a Buddhist, what you are supposed to do, what you aren’t supposed to do, what lamas/monks are good, which ones are new-agey…etc! There is a lot of attachment, stuff, and noise surrounding something that is supposed to liberate us from attachment, stuff, and noise!
So bearing all of this in mind, I can only tell you what helped me get past all that and make progress in this incredibly diverse and wonderful religion.
1. Keep it simple.
Find a good intro/basic to Buddhism class, book, or meditation group – something the covers the basics. Start there. Take the core teachings of the Buddha and do a simple moral inventory – without judgment – on yourself. Think of it as baselining yourself so that you know where you are. Learn about Three Poisons/Fires and the Four Noble Truths. Take each one and think about your life, and what parts of your life are ruled by these concepts. This may not always be a pleasant experience. That is okay, that is what the Noble Eight Fold Path is for - it is your roadmap to enlightenment.
When you are ready, start making your way through the Eight Fold path one at a time and figure how to inject seeds of them into your soil that you can nurture and grow at your own pace. When you are ready for something more, or something deeper branch out and open yourself to other groups, levels, authors, classes. I found that for myself that “Awakening the Buddha Within” by Lama Surya Das and several books/videos by Thich Nhat Hanh and Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche were fantastic, friendly, and reassuring entry points into Buddhism.
2. Try out some simple Mindfulness and Meditation.
You might be surprised what a simple injection of Mindfulness will have on you. Doesn’t have to be a lot. Go find a good book or watch a couple of YouTube videos on the basics of how to meditate and just give it a try. One of the great videos by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche teaches that in the beginning, meditating often is more important than trying to meditate for a long time. Do it a couple of times a day for fifteen minutes when you can find the time. At other points in the day, bring your mind back to the present for 30 seconds or so for a few breaths. He says that starting out meditating like this is like dripping water into a glass – before you know it the glass will be full! I can’t tell you how quickly this made a difference in my life. After a few of days I was more focused (crisp I think is the word) and ready to start something a little more. But do what works for you! Try to find that present moment that is so hidden in the weeds!
3. Practice compassion
This is an easy one! Treat everyone around you with compassion and respect, no matter how they treat you. Start simple and try smiling at everyone you see. You will be surprised how many people are affected and reciprocate your positive kind caring approach. And who knows how that positivity will spread! Then take further steps to spread compassion. Don’t be shy!
4. Find Sangha
Do some quick internet searches on your geographical region and you might be surprised to discover how many Buddhist events, workshops, groups, circles, monasteries, etc. are around you. Buddhism is truly a worldwide phenomenon. Again, don’t be shy, go check them out! Most of them are very welcoming to newcomers are ready and willing to provide support for you as you take your first tender steps. They are all practicing that compassion thing mentioned above! And don’t be afraid to try a few out and find out what works for you right now. If you don’t click with a group, keep looking to find one (or more!) that you can connect with.
5. Just let go!
You don’t have to be perfect! You don’t have to be perfect. Let yourself flub up, and keep on keeping on! You are reborn every day, and every moment is a new opportunity. This is an inward journey. This si not a race. No need to do anything perfectly or to impress anyone! Keep yourself open to new ideas, but allow yourself to question and be skeptical. Buddhism is an experiential religion based on results. Ask a lot of questions and listen to different Buddhist perspectives and approaches. Let these answers flow past you like the running water of a stream. If they click, great! However, you are bound to come across ideas that just don’t feel right. That is okay too, don’t accept or reject them. Just let them pass by. Maybe you are not ready for them. Maybe they are not for you. Let them go.
There is no timeline from here to enlightenment. It doesn’t matter how long it took you to get here. Doesn’t matter what the future looks like. There is only the now, right now. Keep it simple and be!
And lastly, if you every find that things aren't working out then take a few steps back and get back to the basics - the Four Noble Truths, the Noble Eight Fold Path, and basic meditation.
I hope this helped and good luck on your journey.
ET
Very good first post ET
Welcome home.
Top notch advice for the overwhelmed ... Bravo.
And so I shall...
Thank you @EonTrinity, wonderful advice I like it! I too have felt overwhelmed by the teachings I've been given, your list sums up the way to follow the path when starting out. Too many people I know spend time on complicated rituals and practice, yet pay no heed to compassion and mindfulness. For me compassion and kindness is at the heart of the path.
Thanks all. Nice to be a member of the community. Be well.
ET
Guys and Gals, Ladies and gentle folk, Donny Turnip Trump followers and creatures of the hell realms,
Do not be overwhelmed. Just recognise integrity. In other words find your place. It may be 'beginner', 'thus have I heard' or 'a funny thing happened to me when I phoned home'.
You may be lost in circumstance/karma
You may be a screaming loon
(mentioning no names - except lobster 
) bored again Christian [note to self: must not be naughty to easter bunnies] however we can all be honest, have integrity and share our being.
It's a plan ... as @genkaku said, 'you're doing fine'.
Good to listen at any time:
"Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind is a book of teachings by the late Shunryu Suzuki, a compilation of talks given to his satellite Zen center in Los Altos, California. Published in 1970....
I don't fret over not understanding all of it. As time goes on, things sort themselves out.