When The Going Gets Tough....
Shoshin
No one in particularNowhere Special Veteran
The Ocean of Samsara is like one big roller coaster ride... Dukkha here Dukkha there Dukkha Dukkha everywhere ....
And what's quite apparent for some is, it's not easy to just drop things...let things go... it's a sentence that's easy to say to others "Just drop it" or "Just let it go" but definitely not an easy thing to put into practice (The Buddha spent quite a bit of time working on this before he came up with the ~Sabba dhamma nalam abhinivesaya~ punchline) ...After all, the mind has had much more practice of clinging and grasping to things than letting go of them...
There are many cases where tiny threads of discomfort might still remain/be attached,(lurking in the background) even though we might feel that we have dropped it/let it go a long time ago, something might trigger the mind and it picks up on this old thread and tighten its grip again, in other words we bring old wounds back to the surface with a fresh coat of story paint...
From a Buddhist perspective, if one can gain experiential understanding of anatta, theory is, one is more able to let things that once seemed bothersome slide...ie, like Teflon coating the mind....
By now most seasoned practitioners are aware of how important the breath is in keeping things real and in the moment...ie, stopping the mind from spinning off the old story lines again and again...
So ...when the going gets tough...
What techniques have you in your Dharma box of tricks for coping with/alleviating the onslaught of Dukkha at story time ?...What gets the 'you' going ? ( ie, out of the story)
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I rely on kind of an inner compass of my character flaws and faults. I've found that if you can look at your faults honestly, taking note of your weakest areas and what they make you do in response to events real or imagined, that will lead you to a pretty stark picture of what you need to rectify.
Say you ask yourself, what is my biggest flaw in response to such-and-such a troubling event, and you see it is for example an intellectual pride, the self-satisfied assumption that your thinking mind would solve this problem for you? Then perhaps going in search of a moment of real humility and letting go of some inner certainties is an answer and antidote.
I've uprooted several facets of my personality with this over the last half year, have stopped drinking, am resolving some deep anger and am trying a period of abstinence. It's been a source of renewal.
^^ Well said.
Yes I feel being attentive to the moment in particular the breath is helpful. I also find to only practice when 'things are tough' is a common mistake. Practice when at ease. Always practice regularly for the tough times ...
Exercise/physical exertion always good.
@Shoshin asks, "What techniques have you in your Dharma box of tricks for coping with/alleviating the onslaught of Dukkha at story time ?...What gets the 'you' going ? ( ie, out of the story)"
As I read your post and the last bit, I was immediately aware of my shoulders and neck feeling tight and I realized that one of my good habits that helps is being aware/mindful of tenseness in certain parts of my body that indicate I'm getting wrapped up in things that I shouldn't. One 'story' I have to deal with is the unfairness of my son's death and because I know that dwelling on this isn't wise, I talk to my son and acknowledge how much wisdom he has now compared to all the confusion that must've affected him when he was here. Even though it seems like 'a story,' it's a far more plausible one - one far more easy to live with than just railing away about the unfairness of it all.
This line from Seung Sahn struck me when I read it many years ago, and I remember it sometimes; at times when I think life is difficult.
I can’t improve the expressiveness of his statement. I just feel comfort in the idea that we’re not supposed to make it across the ocean of suffering with our feet dry.
The more I practise 'Let Go' the "easier" it becomes. I think one has to develop a sense of Resignation too... Because whether we are obligated by circumstance to 'Let Go', or we decide voluntarily to let go, I don't think it's written anywhere that letting go is either easy or painless.
The Buddha let go of his family, wealth and security. At that time, when he was merely beginning his quest, that must have hurt like merry Hell.
And that's OK. I think we deserve to be kind to ourselves and acknowledge that.
The First Precept is to do no Harm.
So we should face letting go in such a way as to cause ourselves and others, the least distress possible.
Sometimes, we can let go in the bat of an eyelid.
Sometime, it can take years.
Either way, we have to let go, eventually.
because eventually, we die.
And what will you need to cling to and keep, then?
From a Buddhist perspective ones karmic imprint will be passed on whether one wants it to or not...So in a sense if one has not reach enlightenment then ones clinging and grasping mind (which is constantly creating karmic patterns) will live to cling another day in another life/body... It's all down to the two evil (live spelt backwards) sisters desire & aversion
I think it is truly awesome the way you have approached this @silver ...
...A while back I had the good fortune to attend a Dharma talk by Ven Robina Cortin on death & dying and one of the ladies there spoke of the loss of her son at a young age, and she went on to say that she still speaks to him each day, she said she had let go of his physical body, ie had finished grieving the loss of the physical, but feels his loving presence within her heart....
Tee Hee!
When travelling in the boat with no bottom or dry feet, I like to increase the suffering (dharma old school).
For example I was just settling into a regular 45 minute daily fit sit. Are you sitting comfortably? Add fifteen minutes. Unfortunately the hour is already comfortable. Oh the humanity!
Anyone up for a Mahayana hell realm rescue picnic? I'll bring the lobster. Bring pain/dukkha/suffering - no hedonists. Come feed demons, trolls, Trump and demented/tormented lamas, monks and Catholics. Should be fun skilful.
I love the smell of napalm incense in the morning.
I'm talking about tangible, material things. If we are able to distance ourselves and detach from those, detachment from other more ephemeral intangible things is easier.
It didn't come easy - the insight to speak to him - for the longest time, I thought it might be a bit crazy to do so, but then I read where someone said it's a good thing, so that was a big relief. It makes sense. It doesn't make sense to let myself be angry and sad for the rest of my life...just a little bit is okay, though.
@silver, I can understand that it is not an easy thing to do, that why I see it as such an awesome thing..and an inspiration for others...
I just posted this link on "Renunciation" in another thread...It give some clear insight into the whole letting go thing from a Buddhist perspective...
I have to confess it's still a bit of a hit and miss with me. At times I can pull myself up quite easily and remind myself that I need to re-evaluate myself. Other times I don't catch myself before I get caught up and often then get the tension headaches and sore jaw from clenching in frustration.
^^. Being kind and gentle to ourselves is a mindful discipline. A practice.
This is life. Here we are (sometimes)
Deep breaths. Puppy snuggles. Most of the time I s imply fail to be as aware or as mindful or as peaceful or as calm as I know I'm capable of. I fail every day. What in working on right now is being okay with the failure.
"Try again. Fail again. Fail better." -Samuel Beckett