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Just for fun: the random, useless announcements thread!

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Comments

  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited December 2013
    He was either being funny, (God, I do hope so!) or he worked for Payless DIY..... (#Thickastwoshortplanks)
  • Random yes...but not really useless information:

    image
  • federica said:

    I'm off work with a serious hand injury. I was holding a bunch of keys, and I slipped on a slimy wooden bridge. One of the keys went straight through my hand. I am extremely lucky. it took just about the only route possible to avoid a tendon, ligament or nerve. Everything is intact and functioning normally. Except for the hole straight through my hand, that is. Note to self: Do not repeat this exercise or try this at home, viewers....

    Reminds me of when I fell while winding my watch and the dial cut into my palm. ' you will need time off work' said the Registrar. 'well' I replied, looks like I have time on my hands'.
    Bunks
  • I spent the holiday trying to invent the cold air balloon. It never really took off.
    jae
  • I found an old photograph of myself with R.E.M. That's me in the corner.
    jae
  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    ...The one in the spotlight, losing his religion?

    Small world, innit....? :p

    Bad News: After having reached (and even at times) gone under my target weight, I actually put on about 6 lbs over the Festive period.

    :banghead:

    Good News?
    It's all off again!

    :clap:
    anataman
  • DandelionDandelion London Veteran
    @federica are you still doing the 5:2?

  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    Yes, but in a more.... relaxed way.... I'm not so stringent on counting calories on non-fast days. it's working very well for me....
    Dandelion
  • HamsakaHamsaka goosewhisperer Polishing the 'just so' Veteran
    At work last night I kept feeling this pain at the end of my left middle toe. I thought damn, how long has it been since I've clipped my toenails, feels like my left shoe is too small! The shift was almost over and it was quiet, so went in the bathroom, kicked off the shoe, and checked my toenail, which was not the issue.

    And then I suddenly remembered Kaspar the great white cat's penchant for erm, ''gifts". Which he puts in my shoes.

    I shook the shoe and out fell a rather flattened, tiny shrew.

    NORMALLY, he gives me mice, which are a lot more obvious, and they go in my house slippers so I can feel their clammy dead little corpses with my bare toes.

    I could think of no one at work who would find this as funny as I did. I'm a nurse and worked in a hospital with a dead shrew in my shoe for 7 hours. It's just not seemly . . .

    Gassho :)

    jae
  • federica said:

    Yes, but in a more.... relaxed way.... I'm not so stringent on counting calories on non-fast days. it's working very well for me....

    Well done on the weight loss. I am struggling. I ordered a pizza, the waiter said shall I cut it into 12 slices or 6 ? I said 6, I can't manage 12 slices.
    ZerojaeanatamanBunks
  • howhow Veteran
    Hamsaka said:

    At work last night I kept feeling this pain at the end of my left middle toe. I thought damn, how long has it been since I've clipped my toenails, feels like my left shoe is too small! The shift was almost over and it was quiet, so went in the bathroom, kicked off the shoe, and checked my toenail, which was not the issue.

    And then I suddenly remembered Kaspar the great white cat's penchant for erm, ''gifts". Which he puts in my shoes.

    I shook the shoe and out fell a rather flattened, tiny shrew.

    NORMALLY, he gives me mice, which are a lot more obvious, and they go in my house slippers so I can feel their clammy dead little corpses with my bare toes.

    I could think of no one at work who would find this as funny as I did. I'm a nurse and worked in a hospital with a dead shrew in my shoe for 7 hours. It's just not seemly . . .

    Gassho :)


    @Hamsaka
    Hhhmmm
    When I think of all the possible transports a shrew might have to the other shore, the toe compress is down at the bottom of the list. Gives "toe jam" a hold new meaning.
    My best to Kaspar
    Hamsakajae
  • HamsakaHamsaka goosewhisperer Polishing the 'just so' Veteran
    Aw jeeziz, 'toe jam' LOLOL poor little guy!!
  • Habits are hard to break.... But I'm giving it a try.

    Since NewBuddhist has become mostly an outlet for just a few dominant "personalities" to Troll for sensitivities, or Bait people into arguments, and lure others into controversy, while projecting a superior Better-Buddhist-Than-You ego onto us all -- Well, it's put me in the mood to "go Fishing".

    I might come back at another time, I might not. No matter-
    Have fun boys.
    Beej
  • DandelionDandelion London Veteran
    Today I am tired.. very tired, it's been a very long day. Instead of forcing myself to do more work this evening, I am going to just eat my dinner, then go to bed and read a book. And not feel guilty!!

    :D
    Jeffreylobsterjae
  • DandelionDandelion London Veteran
    Oh... how could I forget!! It's Dandelion's birthday today.... "happy birthday Dandelion"
    TheEccentricHamsakalobsterjae
  • Steve_BSteve_B Far southwest corner of Indiana, USA Veteran
    Sad to see, MaryAnne, but I've actually been thinking the same thing. Too much noise.
    Moderators, is there a standard internet forum method to have a "mature audiences" section? Something along the lines of "You must be over 18 to use the hot tub?" Not that I dislike kids, but sometimes it's good to have a break.
  • MaryAnne said:

    ..an outlet for just a few dominant "personalities"..

    Your'e hardly a shrinking violet yourself, MaryAnne.
    ;)
    howVastmindChazcvalue
  • The blade on my circular saw is rather blunt but I can't afford to buy a new one, so it's rather noisy at the moment.... :p
  • American Horror Story is back on! AND I made my first batch of sushi. Turned out pretty good. :thumbup:
    lobsterVastmindBunks
  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    Just been made redundant from my dream job.... (paid, that is.....) at 57, job-hunting is going to be a challenge.....
  • Good luck searching Fed.. I am also looking for a job.
  • anatamananataman Who needs a title? Where am I? Veteran
    federica said:

    Just been made redundant from my dream job.... (paid, that is.....) at 57, job-hunting is going to be a challenge.....

    Sorry to hear that @Federica. Out of interest what was it that made it your dream job?
  • I did not know kittens were smart enough to rescue anything ;)
    How wonderful.

    Lurchers are good, a friend used to have them in Yorkshire. The last time we went for a walk, the Lurcher was told to keep his eyes off the sheep on the moors. So the semi obedient dog turned his head away as if not watching but his eyes were directed sheep-ward . . .

    :)
    jae
  • jaejae Veteran
    I've just had a call and sadly then Lurcher pups have been put to sleep, Guernsey Animal aid asked them to hold on for a week but it didn't happen...They were coming from the UK, lesson there ...don't tell the kids until you have them :(
  • Steve_BSteve_B Far southwest corner of Indiana, USA Veteran
    federica said:

    Just been made redundant from my dream job.... (paid, that is.....) at 57, job-hunting is going to be a challenge.....

    What a shame . . . sorry.
    Is there other family income? Able to buy food? Unemployment benefits?
    I'm also 57 and have been preparing to transition to a race with a different breed of rats, but the one-way exit looms large.

    Hope you're OK.
  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    Thanks, @Steve_B....
    pardon me if I don't enter into great personal detail here.
    But every day is a new day.

    This too shall pass, and i take comfort from both the tale of the horse-farmer, and the lighthouse analogy.
    Imagine a lighthouse, far out from the shore, on a rocky promontory; The lighthouse is completely surrounded by water, and this water is never the same, in appearance, two days running; there may be wild storms, high winds, calm, mill-pond, hazy summer days, deep, sullen, black, turbulent nights, high seas, low fogs, blizzards, tempests and waves twenty feet high, rising majestically and crashing against the rocks, sending blinding salt-heavy spray up and over the top beacon.

    Yet, look.... the lighthouse is still; imperturbable, solid, motionless and steady.... it continues to shine, calmly, reliably, no matter what the elements may bring.

    And so, like this lighthouse, we should be.
    Knocked and buffeted by whatever surrounds us, comes at us or rises to impede us.
    We simply endure, accept, and 'rise above' it all.....

    It's all just grist to the mill.
    Take whatever may come, and deal with it, endure it, weather it.
    But be imperturbable, serene, contented and calm in attitude.

    it's all about the attitude.
  • MaryAnne said:

    ..an outlet for just a few dominant "personalities"..

    Your'e hardly a shrinking violet yourself, MaryAnne.
    ;)
    I'm still feeling a little sore from the strip she tore off me on the way out.
    Being the only fisherman here and all.
  • I keep breaking 3 mm drill bits, which are quite delicate and easily blunted when drilling pilot holes in chip-board. Fortunately they are inexpensive to replace. :p
  • jaejae Veteran
    @SpinyNorman.... 'chippy' what an awesome trade. Do you do any roofing?
  • TheEccentricTheEccentric South east, UK Veteran
    Have go a dead arm from a vaccination at school today.
  • howhow Veteran
    I keep running into folks complaining of getting pretty sick within a week of taking the NI flu vac shot. Anybody else?
  • BeejBeej Human Being Veteran
    @how- imagine that.... injecting yourself with a virus, then becoming sick from that virus. whas next? eating food then having a full tummy? :lol:
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran
    Useless, and no fun.... my 10 yr old was playing football and
    broke his nose... :zombie: ...... black eyes after and everything....
    anyway, he's getting the full mommy treatment...I'll be busy....not on
    retreat...but cooking for him and trips to the book store for comics! :) .....
    May his face return to something I recognize sooner rather
    than later...hahaha...

    BTW: good news...no signs of concussion.... :zombie:
    lobster
  • how said:

    I keep running into folks complaining of getting pretty sick within a week of taking the NI flu vac shot. Anybody else?

    I didnt.

    lobster
  • jaejae Veteran
    @Vastmind ... aw poor love, not very nice to see your child all bashed up eh? My middle son Hamish has broken both arms, both skateboarding, once in 2012 two weeks before the summer holidays and the other 2013 one week before the summer holidays!!

    This July he is not allowed anywhere near a skateboard!
    Vastmind
  • HamsakaHamsaka goosewhisperer Polishing the 'just so' Veteran
    I am guilty of a holocaust of about ten zillion living beings. I was doing a check on the outdoor critters only to find Howard, my first rooster, dead, a small pile of black and white feathers hunched over himself. He was quite stiff, but I picked him up and held him against my breast, something he would NEVER tolerate while alive, and petted him and told him he was a wonderful guy, my first rooster (since I left the farm in Idaho 7 years ago). I carried him around petting his cold little body while I finished the checks, then buried him where I bury other lost critters.

    I sat on the couch and flipped open the laptop, and felt this itching all over my face. I have very long wild hair and this is common, so I brushed my face with my hands over and over again, and the itching got worse, and worse and worse. It felt a lot like taking a giant dose of Niacin only worse, and somehow . . . crawly.

    I looked down at my hands . . . and my chest where Howard had rested . . . and I was covered with tiny black mites who were indeed BITING me.

    If I'd had a gallon of gasoline, I would have bathed with that instead of throwing all clothing off out the front door (sorry neighbors) where it still lies and emptying the hot water tank in the shower. If I'd had sandpaper and steel wool in the shower, I would have used that too.

    I then sprayed flea tick and mite homicide spray all over the couch, wall and floor where I'd sat.

    While I meditated that night, five or six mites, hidden deep in my ears or something, crawled out and bit and itched and DURING meditation I did murder them. After that, I've just 'itched' but it's that psychological itching sensation, you know?

    Chicken mites probably killed Howard :( . Tomorrow I'll have further homicide powder and spray come in the mail. Today I go to the feed store and get diatomaceous earth and will use this from now on as a preventative (it will kill the mites but not in holocaust proportions, just keep the population from exploding and hurting the chickens).

    This winter (in western WA state) hasn't gotten cold enough to freeze the little buggers to death, like usual. But it's been plenty wet and soggy, which prevents the chickens from finding soft, dry dirt to bathe in. They do this to keep their mite and pest population down naturally, so along with the DE, I'm going to make a dry dirt bath for them that is protected (somehow, the humidity is 90%).

    Gassho :)
    lobster
  • Sounds like quite an ordeal.

    When I was having hallucinations sorta one time I decided that going in the retention pond outside of my apartment would baptize me. On the way I stepped on a fire ant hole. Lucky running back to my apt was short and I took a shower.
    Hamsakalobster
  • jaejae Veteran
    Changing the tone a little if I could impart one bit of wisdom tonight it will be this...

    NEVER EVER use double sided sticky tape on a laminate floor to keep your rug in place, this product should come with a government health warning.

    I spent over three hours using various products from WD40- nail varnish remover- cif- baby oil- bleach- vinegar- salt- sugar soap to help remove this shit.

    On the upside it was probably beneficial to toning my 'bingo wings'.

    Tomorrow I plan to go to B&Q to put a 'post it' warning on this evil product.
    lobster
  • CheChe Veteran
    Speaking of cats....

    image
  • HamsakaHamsaka goosewhisperer Polishing the 'just so' Veteran
    Jeffrey said:

    Sounds like quite an ordeal.

    When I was having hallucinations sorta one time I decided that going in the retention pond outside of my apartment would baptize me. On the way I stepped on a fire ant hole. Lucky running back to my apt was short and I took a shower.

    I'm not laughing at the hallucination part, just the perfect irony of stepping in a fire ant hole on your way to baptism. If you'd made it to the pond, you likely would have found yourself covered with DUCK LICE which, like chicken mites, will bite you a few times and then get bored. I got a dose of duck lice as a kid, it was pretty gross. Never had an encounter with fire ants, though. There aren't any of that sort up here in the soggy NW.

    In Barbara Kingsolver's book "The Poisonwood Bible", the missionary family living in the Congo (early 1960's) had their village wiped clean by hordes of some kind of ant that moves across the land like a marauding army, eating every plant and fleshly thing down to inedible elements (bone, calcium, stone). When the ants were gone, they found their nesting mother chickens just piles of clean white bones and a few feathers lying atop their completely intact eggs. What a visual.

    Gassho :)


  • jaejae Veteran
    Panic setting in as off to the UK and can't find my passport!!

    Driving license will do but skiing in France 8th Feb.... things happen for a reason eh?

    The UK trip was only planned last week, just as well, as I'm not one of these 'early packers' (panic would be an understatement in that situation) and lucky my Brother in law works at immigration, fast track passport here I come!!!
    Hamsaka
  • jae said:

    @SpinyNorman.... 'chippy' what an awesome trade. Do you do any roofing?

    I used to, but these days find DIY is quite enough.

    ;)
  • jae said:


    NEVER EVER use double sided sticky tape on a laminate floor to keep your rug in place, this product should come with a government health warning.

    I think laminate floors should come with a government health warning, horrible cheap slippery stuff. I predict that in 10-15 years laminate flooring will go out of fashion and end up in skips - good riddance! :p
    jae
  • DaftChrisDaftChris Spiritually conflicted. Not of this world. Veteran
    I'm considering becoming a certified Pharmacy Technician to help save up money for Grad school; as well as to have a relatively decent-paying job while in school.
    lobster
  • jaejae Veteran
    @Citta.....lucky you enjoy
  • @DaftChris, I did that and liked it. Sometimes VERY busy and sometimes VERY dead.
    DaftChris
  • jaejae Veteran
    I wish people would smile more and drop less litter (in UK for the weekend)
  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    I walked past a child who dropped a piece of litter, and just glared at him, and called him a litterbug.
    I didn't realise he was WITH someone... and this someone gave him such a thwack on the head...!
    "Pick it up!" she instructed him, sharply.

    I wish I could have that success rate with adults too....! :D

    jaeanatamanNirvana
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