Best Of
Re: Letting go of games
I've heard of games help coping with anxiety or other negative emotions that can arise for some people in a game. The idea is you get a chance experience a negative emotion that can be overcome. You can go at your pace and turn the game off when you need to.
I train my dog C (named short for privacy) and it reminds me of the training philosophy of C's trainer I meet with 30 minutes per week on an app. If C is afraid of something we reward him each step along the way and at no point we use force. Carrot instead of stick method. So if I'm training him to let me touch his teeth with toothpaste he is free to back out of that touch, but then he might not get a reward.
Back to video games and negative emotions I experience in games sometimes a heaviness not knowing what is around the corner. Games are one arena where I have learned (at my own pace) that I can push through negativity and slowly progress through even an entire game. And then I can extrapolate that experience to another experience like it can push me to read each day though it has a certain stress, or to drive somewhere and do something like grocery or meet someone for coffee. Over the last 20 years I've definitely had changes to what I am able to do or am not able to do.
Thus a game can be used as a tool to learn confidence and trust that many real life stresses can be overcome by persistence and gentle learning. And also the idea is that you (someone) use the game to draw you out into a bigger world rather than the reverse of escaping from the world into a game. The latter I think in moderation is ok just like a sweet every once in a while can be indulged.
Jeffrey
Re: Letting go of games
Disappearing into illusory worlds, which keep getting you further removed from reality
Its possible, I've had players in games who do seem very detached from reality. On the other side I'd say a game that incorporates the role play aspect of the game well allows people to explore human psychology and ethical situations in a safe, sandboxy way. Many people say it can be therapeutic and that its helped them with their own issues.
Play rousing the desires of the player, kindling the passions, greed
Yeah, I think that's probably true. But again, its an open game and can also be used to practice and kindle virtue.
Dancing kindles passions and leads to S E X! Pool starts with a capital P, that rhymes with T which stands for trouble! Just a cheeky way of saying that not all passions are so destructive, its not gambling on dog fighting or snorting coke.
Teaching goal-oriented thinking, being busy with the mind and closed, not meditative and open
That's tough for me to answer. I'm a very process oriented thinker, there are goals in the game to be achieved and reaching the next level is fun, but I'm not sure it really has much of an impact moving me towards a goal-oriented mind set. And then my mind has always been busy, even the times when I've retreated more from the world. My meditative practice isn't so much about calming things down as it is about letting things go.
As far as openness goes its been the exact opposite for me, I find the game really promotes and encourages the ability to be spontaneous and open. I usually have to prepare quite a bit and think of things my character might say or do in various situations. Having to react in the moment to unpredictable circumstance requires spontaneity.
In the end, it is a game and not a meditation retreat. So yeah in comparison it isn't near as conducive to spiritual practice and has spiritually negative aspects to it. But if you're living and engaging with the world it can be a wholesome, positive activity, depending on how its played. I'll also add, its only played for a few hours per session with other people vs however engrossed you can get playing a video game by yourself, which is a big difference.
person
Re: Sexuality and Desire in Buddhist teaching
I have a hard time interacting with most people. Especially those around my age range. They are often doing some subconscious or conscious sizing up and assessing along those sorts of lines. Like the first glance is "are they hot enough?" or maybe "Am I hotter than him?" and the eyes and face are always a dead give-away to the map of the mind.
They pass judgements without even asking my permission or seeking accuracy. It's like watching an ego at work. Then comes the small-talk and more determinations and judgements are made based on pleasantness of voice, body language, quality of chat. There's little just talking going on and it's all very anxiety inducing and exhausting. I find myself being bent into some form of identity or another, and my behaviors begin to shift to reflect that form which usually is not the way I would prefer to behave but find it just happens without my say-so.
Then on the rare occasion I talk to someone genuine, I'm often in BS-city mode and blunder just like those others. Good ol' Southern California. So staying at home's nice. Less judgemental eyes, less needless chat. Except for you poor folks here who end up with all my misguided and mindless chat.
Re: Sexuality and Desire in Buddhist teaching
I haven't had sex for over 12 years.
Desire?
It's something I'm no longer subject to...
federica
Re: How deep does the dharma go?
The dharma has taught me something that goes beyond what scientific materialism or other religions ever stressed: the only thing that, for now we can say is eternal and for all of us, is change. The way we engage in this changing world is an important field of exercise. This meaning impulse control, fostering good, avoiding the bad, becoming less automatic in some aspects, to become more thoughtful in others; and viceversa.
What a mystery this world and life!
Regarding Alzheimer's disease, it could be compared to a good practioner that suddenly has to face death because of a car accident or a disability because of an injury sustained during the crash. The tragedy of degenerative diseases is their "unexpectedness" as in, there is no crash, no trigger apart from certain genes, ambiental factors, and other variables that happen to establish this outcome. This is a good reminder of not wasting time like Dogen says and practice the best we can during this present moment.
Who knows, maybe all the good practice he partook on has rewarded him with the care and love / support web he requires now.... still, it is tragic, mental illness I mean...
I once asked Ajahn Punnadhammo what mental illness means? Is it like a karmic punishment? He soberly replied "it definitvely is a product of karma", but that's it.
My warmest support Jeroen.... I know it is not easy.
Kotishka
Re: Letting go of games
@Jeroen said:
Recently I made a summary on paper of the things telling me games weren’t a beneficial direction.
I’ve retrieved and translated my original summary, which were these five bullet points:
- Violence, habituation, conditioning, getting rewarded for violence
- Addiction and a challenge-reward cycle (dopamine) without a realistic counterpoint
- Disappearing into illusory worlds, which keep getting you further removed from reality
- Play rousing the desires of the player, kindling the passions, greed
- Teaching goal-oriented thinking, being busy with the mind and closed, not meditative and open
To a certain extent these were more present in the computer games I used to play (particularly World of Warcraft and Diablo 2, also Ultima Underworld), but to a certain extent I think they are also present in Dungeons and Dragons.
I think we have addressed the first two points earlier in this topic, but I think it would be useful to consider the other three as well in a bit more detail from the point of view of the dharma.
Jeroen
Re: Minimising suffering
Ajahn Brahm takes this sort of view. I also think its sort of inherent in the self compassion movement.
Its kind of like we think that being critical and harsh will motivate us to do something to change, which it can, but it also makes us feel negatively towards ourselves and less worthy of that positive change. If we focus on the good things we do and have compassion for our failings it helps build us up to a place where we value our own well being more and motivates us to do the things to create a happy mind and life.
I'd probably add a note of caution, that its important to acknowledge and allow the negativity to arise rather than repressing it. I think its more about learning to hold it kindly, let it go and focus on the positive. There is a relatively new psychological term called toxic positivity, which I personally think some take too far, but in essence has a very good lesson to it.
person
Re: No Buddhist Quotes
“The natural state is not a 'thoughtless state' -- that is one of the greatest hoaxes perpetrated for thousands of years on poor, helpless Hindus. You will never be without thought until the body is a corpse, a very dead corpse. Being able to think is necessary to survive. But in this state thought stops choking you; it falls into its natural rhythm. There is no longer a 'you' who reads the thoughts and thinks that they are 'his'.”
— U. G. Krishnamurti
Jeroen
Minimising suffering
I wanted to talk about a property of suffering that I have noticed. That is that if you give it attention it tends to grow larger in your inner field of view. The result is, if you think a lot about all the sources of suffering in your life, they will grow to encompass your thinking and you will probably become depressed. Negativity leads to more negativity, and it becomes a downwards spiral.
If, on the other hand, you chose to ignore sources of negativity in your life and give them only minimal attention, and instead focus on the positive things in your life, it is the positive things that will grow larger in your field of view, and you will find positivity leading to more positivity, engaging an upwards spiral, a “virtuous cycle” towards a happier life.
Of course, ignoring sources of negativity is not always easy, and it requires a certain attitude of bearing up under life’s burdens. The stoic philosophy is a good supporting methodology for doing this.
This has worked really well for me in the past, if you struggle with low mood you might want to give it a try.
Jeroen
Re: Getting better "blog"
@Jeffrey said:
I'm applying to a market to work in their gardens center this summer. I haven't worked for 17 years due to health reasons aka staying at home made more sense. It can be stressful to interview (I have interviewed over the years)
I found it helpful when I realized that I am not required to tell them everything. They are not telling me everything, so why should I. I do not lie, but find it's OK to give deflective half-answers that are still true. For instance, you might say that you had a gap in working "for personal reasons", "for health reasons", "I was a home-maker"... most probably they will not ask anything further since it would be rude and prying. I reserve "the truth and nothing but the truth" for family, friends, and spiritual friends.
marcitko