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Questioning ones faith
ThailandTom
Veteran
I have been practicing and researching buddhism now for over 2 years. My meditation is probably the worse section second to attachments. It has helped with certain aspects in my life, but I may be losing my faith a little. I never have any motivation or determination to meditate often, or for along amount of time for that matter. I have never had a deep deep meditation and I am questioning things.. Is buddhism for me?
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If you are not willing to really investigate the meaning of Buddhism, then I don't see how you could hope for it to help you. By investigating I mean really putting it into practice. Give up your attachments just like that, firmly. Stop fooling around with your taperings and giving yourself new excuses to continue abusing substances. Just do it - just firmly say no to yourself any time you feel like escaping by popping another pill. Eventually you would no longer feel this need. The only one that's stopping you, is yourself letting this go on.
But of course unless you can really see the harm it's causing you, you will not see a reason to quit it. It can be hard to really see clearly, when you're constantly intoxicated.
There's no easy way out and it has been hard for every practitioner. ^___^
You can question: Is Buddhism for me? Am I doing it right? Should I go on? Is enlightenment possible or is it a hoax? But all that doesn't get you anywhere. You can not know all of this. But the only thing you can know for sure is that there's doubt.
I think we've all had periods like this. At times doubt is the main experience in or mind, it certainly takes faith to keep going. Faith is actually one of the faculties in the mind that is to be trained. Not only faith in the practice, but also faith in yourself. A good teacher can help you with this or you can find some inspiration by others. Recently we've had this thread which can be motivating. Also reflecting on past good experiences with the dhamma can help you or reading words by the Buddha to generate faith.
But don't expect results too soon. Meditation takes time. Nobody sits down and gets deep just like that. But remember that the meditation sessions which are struggling are the ones you learn most. Some people think they can build a house without a foundation, likewise some people think they can have good meditation without first laying the basis. This is not wise. It takes daily practice to really train your mind properly before it can start building the deeper states. The more you meditate, the easier it gets.
I hope you can find some inspiration/faith to keep practicing. Results will come if you stick with the practice, I'm absolutely sure about that.
With metta,
Sabre
Is Buddhism for you? Only you can say. Is Buddhism not for you? Only you can say. Sometimes it just takes patience to come up with the answer that satisfies you. So ... try to exercise some patience.
What is unknown takes patience. But what really takes patience is what is known.
You don't have to sit around and attempt to meditate hours of every day...or you can. I would say at the most basic level, try to accomplish the Noble Eightfold Path consistently. And as you are, be really mindful of the way in which you are doing that. That alone will be a major accomplishment.
You know, it may be like reading a self-help book. Is it wise to read the whole book and attempt to tackle it all at once, or is it better to read one chapter and tackle that before moving on to the next chapter?
One of the most disheartening aspects of Buddhism forums, in my opinions, is the emphasis on the so called #oh so deeeep#
Deeeeep meditation experiences
Deeeeep insights
Deeeeep life
But really at the end of the day, how useful is deep when we just have to live our life. This does not mean that there are not different understandings that may come along, but that in Buddhism, our emphasis is just on practice, on living, on your life everyday as you know it. It is not apart from your life so that means so long as you are practicing, you are not failing, or not not reaching what others may put up as standards to reach.
I think it is natural to come to a point of questioning and natural even to lose faith sometimes, take heart you are not alone.
Take it slowly again when you are ready, start with five minutes a day, no expectations, just sitting with whatever is, and the reality of whatever you experience IS sufficient.
Well wishes
Abu
I have sat Zen maybe thirty years now and never had that "deep, deep meditation". I have occasionally fallen asleep, and once when I jerked back awake the group was laughing, saying I'd snored. But deep, altered consciousness meditation is not what Zen looks for. We look for a Clear Mind, otherwise known as Original Mind.
Perhaps its just time to shift the focus of your practice.
Many look upon Buddhism like when they go shopping in a department store. They see all the merchandise that glitters and think: "Give me four of those jhanas, two of those Nibbanas and six of those clear light minds, thank you, gift wrapped, with a pink ribbon".
Or they look upon gurus like underwear models or even prostitutes: "If am i nice to you or i give you money, can you enlighten me!"
Spiritual materialism is like this, packaging the teachings to appeal to people's desires or cravings.
But the Buddha did not teach like this. The Buddha focused on dukkha & causes, in order to eradicate the causes.
:mullet:
Buddhism is a good path although the path of meditation is not a walk in the park. Meditation requires a grounding in the five precepts. You have often shared your challenges with the forum here. My opinion is it is best to focus on those specfic challenges, using whatever means you can to overcome them. To progress with meditation, abiding in each precept is an essential foundation.
May you find & abide in well-being
DD
Is Buddhism for you...?
It depends if you want to put some effort into practising or not one can receive all the Dharma teachings they want but if we dont act upon them we gain nothing.
Good luck Tom !
I just wanted to clarify that there can be determined, ongoing practice but as Ajahn Sumedho also teaches, it is not a particular experience we are after, but the understandings that can arise can be found amongst daily life experiences, and just through very simple meditations.
Best wishes,
Abu
And as Gautama taught, Buddhism is a raft to cross the shores only. No point carrying the raft on your back after that. Always grateful for the pointers though.
Best wishes,
Abu
It doesn't have to be about Buddhism all the time; you can focus on other activities if now you don't feel determined enough.
During enlightenment, Buddha obtained all knowledge. That's faith-based.
Karma. To a large extent, faith-based.
Nibanna. Faith-based.
Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with faith, except when one does not realize it's faith and not fact.
Thank you.
"The Pāli suttas (scriptures) list faith as one of seven treasures (dhanas), one of five spiritual faculties (indriyas), one of four "streams of merit", and one of the spiritual powers (balas).
Gyatrul (b.1924)[4], in a commentary on the work of Chagmé (Wylie: Kar-ma Chags-med, fl. 17th century), rendered into English by Wallace states:[5]
By the power of faith, we are able to eliminate the two types of obscurations.[6] Through the power of faith both ontological and phenomenological knowledge arises. It is also by the power of faith that both the common and uncommon siddhis arise."
Taken from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faith_in_Buddhism
Metta to all sentient beings
And Tom (and of course all others), I have faith in your ability to learn to apply the dhamma in your life. I understood you are still young so you probably have many years to go. Don't give up
May all beings live happily.
Sabre
If seen like that, than Buddhism is not about faith, indeed. As I said, depends on how you interpret the words. But it's about whats behind words. I think faith -usual interpretation- is a good thing. We all had to have had some faith of there being something more to life when coming to Buddhism. It's not like we think, love, meditation and accumulating wisdom don't mean anything. We have some faith in the results of them. Sometimes we lose this faith, however. That's when doubt takes over, a dangerous thing that can even turn monks back to lay-life. But it's just a mind-faculty. It will pass.
I personally prefer to call what you are referring to with dogma, blind faith. Some may have blind faith in Buddhism, just like others have blind faith that they'll get 72 virgins when flying a plane into a building. But this is not wise. Who wants 72 virgins anyway? You'll get totally crazy because of all the chatter.
I wish us all a lot of faith, especially in our own capacity to wake up.
With metta,
Sabre
What is the alternative?
Even if nothing happens but if you think you are on the right path,
continue.
Or, try to abandon it n try sth else.
But my most important breakthroughs were slow, gradual and as gentle as a flower unfolding. They were as unremarkable as waking from a restful sleep. So, everyone is different.
How do you know your mom is your biological mom? That's faith-based.
How do you know men went to the moon? That's faith-based.
It serves no use talking about letting the raft go when we have not even crossed the shore.
This is mere conjecture about the future.
Some of us are yet to use the raft in the present yet we engage in conjecture about letting the raft go in the future.
There are at least two kinds of faith, namely, blind faith & bright (wise) faith.
Blind faith includes many things, including blindly believing Buddhism isn't faith based.
Buddhism is not about blind determination, blindly believing one will advance by gross efforts such as sitting in ZaZen without moving; by diving into a river without a paddle.
To advance requires skilful subtle means, including having faith or conviction in the Buddha's instructions.
The Buddha taught the condition for determination (viriya) is faith (saddha).
The five powers are faith, determination, mindfulness, concentration & wisdom.
They all work together, as a team.
Determination is not blindly meditating without skilful means, like hitting one's head constantly against a brick wall, believing one will knock it down & see daylight
:banghead:
I've seen my birth certificate. I've personally talked to relatives who were at the hospital where I was born. High degree of confidence. On the other hand, 2,500 years have passed since Buddha said whatever he said -- which was not written down at the time.
The Dhamma is the insight of Buddha, to be verified by each practitioner
Karma is the effect of one's actions, speech & thoughts, to be experienced by each practitioner
Nibbana is the peace of mind when greed, hatred & delusion end, to be tasted by each practitioner
:wow:
To say that it is the exact teachings of Buddha...well, I won't say it's impossible, but to my mind that would suppose a supernatural influence on men who passed the teachings on for several hundred years and many generations before it was written down.
Everyone is free to believe what they want. But I can appreciate much of the wisdom in the Dhamma whether it is the exact teachings of Buddha or paraphrased to one degree or another.
If you try to hard to completely immerse yourself in perfectionism, then you are going to feel overwhelmed and disappointed in yourself.
When I first got into Buddhism, I got real nerdy and made a least of everything I wanted to achieve... and wow... I was really enthusiastic and way ahead of myself. I got burned out and even fell away from practice for awhile.
Just make a list, and only highlight two things that you want to change the most, then work on those first.
I take refuge in the way he taught to become enlightened or to reduce or alleviate suffering.
I take refuge in others like me who are struggling like me to understand the above.
So what's not to believe in? Do your best. That's all one can do in this life.
Be well, Tom.
Thank you for your comments though, some of them are inspiring and I will keep on reading this topic if it stays alive
Also, back to the meditation. I think it is a lot harder whilst on valium, ye I cannot abruptly stop valium as I may have a seizure and or die, but I will try the same.
How do you know your relatives are not lying to protect you?
I can buy a birth cert for $5000.
It just means that you have faith in the birth cert & your
relatives.
High degree of confidence, I agree.
But its still based on faith.
Here we are talking about why we believe certain things
and do not believe certain things.
It is best to not drag "Christian" baggage into this thread.
The Buddha & his Sangha are examples of well-being & happiness. It follows they and what they teach are objects of faith & confidence.
Kind regards
2. I've noticed OFTEN that when you talk down to someone you often close with something like "Kind regards" and an internet smile. Put together, that is not, in my view, "right speech".