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I loved Brokeback Mountain, though it was incredibly sad. What I find truly offensive, however, are all the tasteless parodies popping up all over the place, most of which are simply thinly disguised homophobic blasts. C'mon people, grow up!
Sorry, Palzang, but I think the ones I've seen (esp. the Mac Geeks) are a riot. To me poking gentle fun is not tasteless. Just more advertising for the film, which does contribute something very positive to public consciousness of the issue of same-sex love and same-sex unions, I think. Unlike you, though, I did not "love" the movie. I went out of obligation, in the same way I felt I was obliged to see Platoon several years ago.
I hope I am forgiven for taking issue with coleen's initial post, especially because she's "new" here. However, I did it in the only way I knew, trying to show how thoughtless the remarks she made were. I know my circumlocution of her post did not make sense, but neither did her post, at least not to me. No, not the least... Nothing about the movie was "in your face." Quite the opposite, it was all about "the closet." It certainly ends there in the final moments. I think that if, in fact, she truly saw it, she must have slept through it or was distracted throughout.
Let's not forget, Palzang, that there's a lot of marketing strategy involved in promoting this (or any other) film, and having "spin-off" trailers, posters, or what-not does no real harm. I mean, Tom Cruise may have various feelings about these, but he'll take them in stride and won't be hurt.
Please set me straight on this matter, folks, if you think I'm wrong about the tastelessness part.
True, some are quite funny, like "Brokeback to the Future." I'm not talking about those. But I have seen some really offensive ones on television that went way over the line. The days when you can lampoon gays is over, imho, just as the days you could lampoon blacks and get away with it is over. But really, there was nothing at all funny about this movie, gay or not, so why would you want to lampoon it? It's just the immature minds who can't get past the "gay cowboys" bit and feel compelled to engage in junior high humor at the expense of gays that gets me.
Palzang,
One of my nephews first met his wife of three years several years ago, dressed up with his other buddies, as a "Gay cowboy" at a Halloween party years ago in St. Paul, Minn. (They're all from Minnesota and South Dakota.)
Believe me, there's nothing new about cracking jokes about this stuff. People enjoy enjoying themselves and laughing at human foibles.
I am with you on this one, Palzang. I am starting to get a little annoyed with all of the different titles that people keep coming up with for this movie. It's just a bit immature, IMO.
Like some guy on this other site I used to go to that popped out immediately to get the new Harry Potter book and the posted a thread that said, "Hey!, what did you guys think about Dumbledore dying!?!?!?!?"
-bf
Oh well that's blown it, bf! *puts down new, unread copy of that Potter book* :grumble: :rolleyes:
Sorry Mrs K.
I wasnt thinking when posted that reply, (looking down at ground and trying to dig a hole with my big toe). I dont want to knock the book for it is a good book, and the author has done some grate work in her time, shipping news was another one that was made into a brilliant movie, it is just that the book lack in depth what the movie had so mutch in abundance. And yes it was a short story, took me about an hour to read today, and still is a good read if you have a few minutes to kill.
I don't care to see anyone 'goin at it' in public, whether they are homosexual or hetero.
Holding hands, gentle kisses, hugs...fine. But there is something to be said about privacy.
Just as some might say that homosexuals flaunt in public with their affection, well, IMO, so do heteros.
Same with breastfeeding. I have only 'book knowledge' on the subject. And I do have opinions. But I will have to say...it's none of my business what mothers choose to do (just like it's none of my business what orientation people are).
However, I don't care to see it in public, in the middle of a shopping center, restaurant, etc. In th Ladies Lavatory, fine.
A line has to be drawn regarding certain behaviors. If people are uncomfortable, there's a reason..not that it's taboo, but private.
I completely understand what you are saying, sharpiegirl. I, for one, never breastfed my daughter in public without covering up so that no one could see what was going on under the blanket. But...."breasts" in this country have become such a sexual object, that I think the sight of a breast makes people cringe just for that reason. It's a BOOB! Every girl has them, we all know what they look like!! Breastfeeding is hardly a "naughty behavior" that has to have lines drawn about it.
I don't care to see anyone 'goin at it' in public, whether they are homosexual or hetero.
Holding hands, gentle kisses, hugs...fine. But there is something to be said about privacy.
Just as some might say that homosexuals flaunt in public with their affection, well, IMO, so do heteros.
A line has to be drawn regarding certain behaviors. If people are uncomfortable, there's a reason..not that it's taboo, but private.
Just my opinions...
I couldn't agree more Sharpiegirl. Yes love is great any which way it happens but I have lost count of the number of times I've sat in a public place feeling very uncomfortable when a couple are doing everything but screw right next to me. Time and place ...
At least I'm not quite as bad as the Old Feller who tapped a couple on the shoulders who were apparently practicing a mutual tonsilectomy in the pub and said "If you're that damned hungry, they do sandwiches here!"
I completely understand what you are saying, sharpiegirl. I, for one, never breastfed my daughter in public without covering up so that no one could see what was going on under the blanket. But...."breasts" in this country have become such a sexual object, that I think the sight of a breast makes people cringe just for that reason. It's a BOOB! Every girl has them, we all know what they look like!! Breastfeeding is hardly a "naughty behavior" that has to have lines drawn about it.
I agree, Yogamama. It's the same in Canada. Something has gone wrong somewhere. And the thought that mothers should have to feed their babies in the toilet makes me want to cry.
Yes, there really are not too many places out in public where a woman can comfortably go feed her baby. Some shopping malls are getting better - I see more and more "Family Restrooms" or "Nursing Rooms" for moms, so that is good. You know...women probably do not want to breastfeed their babies in public, but what are you supposed to do when your newborn is hungry? Tell him/her to wait until you can find a better spot??
0
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited March 2006
I guess you could turn it the other way, Yogamama... More women would be very happy to feed their babies in public, if they weren't made to feel like exhibitionist perverts or social pariahs....
In reply to YM
Quite a different matter - as you point out, babies need feeding when they need feeding, and it IS very considerate to chuck a poncho or shawl over the proceedings to avoid any embarrassment, so I can't really understand the fuss that is kicked up.
Fede - yes. World of difference between getting 'em out for fun and using them for their original purpose. Especially when, over here, men have no compunction in whipping their willies out to have a pee in public no matter who's around!
Well, yes, fede, in a perfect world, women would be comfortable breastfeeding their babies out in public, but, sadly...I don't ever see that happening. Heaven forbid we actually use our breasts for the reason why we have them!
Knitwitch - sorry to hear about all of the willies being whipped out in your area! LOL!
Men over there are using them for what they were made for. As someone else said, they're not whipping them out for fun.
-bf
But you know, there's no 'discretion'! Tthey literally don't care who's looking, or where they are... you hoot at them, and they whip round in a graceful arc.... !! there's one in the eye for the dog!
The point was being made that breastfeeding should be socially acceptable and someone else pointed out that men whip out their johnsons and take a whiz wherever they want.
I personally don't think their should be "voiding" in public. I could really give a crap one way or the other about a woman breastfeeding.
Just that "whipping out the willie" and using it for what it was intended is really no different than using breasts to breastfeed - neither are being used for "fun".
Oddly enough, if a guy did that in the states - he would probably be locked up for 10 to 15 because he's a pervert. Over here in the states, if a woman flashes you - everyone has a good chuckle. If a man flashes - we lock 'em up.
I think it's just what society has taught us.
-bf
P.S. A woman I once knew said guys in France will piss wherever they want - and she said things get a little "whiffy" at times :wtf:
P.P.S. Oh yeah... I think I've said in the past that I really like boobies. They're not bad! Viva le boobies!
Ok - we're actually arguing the same point - no, we don't appreciate the way Frenchmen piddle all over the place. Especially as there are far more places to wee than to breastfeed.
It's just the perception that one is acceptable and the other isn't. Over here, anyway. I think the laws on indecent exposure are the same in the UK.
The "for fun" comment was about boobs, not willies. I do know ladies who, after a few pints want to show the world how blessed they are.
Bf - I don't care if a guy whips out his willie, but the fact the he is urinating and making a "mess" is what is bothersome. It's not like when I was breastfeeding, I was whipping out a boob and squirting my breastmilk on the sidewalk!!
0
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
Little, green, bug-eared Yodamama squirting milk all over the place.
Bob and Tom (www.bobandtom.com) have a super hero called Shirtless Girl who uses her hooters to fight crime. Men see them and all of a sudden, they can't walk anymore!
I think I saw something like this on "Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex" by Woody Allen.
No sense bitching about how other people view things.
-bf
Are you referring to my response to sharpiegirls post? If so, I didn't mean for it to look like I was "bitching" about her views. Just sharing my views as well. I hope my post wasn't perceived that way.
Are you referring to my response to sharpiegirls post? If so, I didn't mean for it to look like I was "bitching" about her views. Just sharing my views as well. I hope my post wasn't perceived that way.
I didn't think you were 'bitching' about it either, Yogamama.
I am not sure about the malls and public places in your area, or in Canada. But here in my parts, there are family rest rooms and/or private areas, a lounge i suppose would be a better term, specifically made for such things as breatfeeding.
I certainly wouldn't expect a mother to feed her child in the 'toilet'.
When I see a mother feeding, it certainly doesn't bother me! I just don't cae to see details...as I would not want to expose myself either...
I didn't think you were 'bitching' about it either, Yogamama.
I am not sure about the malls and public places in your area, or in Canada. But here in my parts, there are family rest rooms and/or private areas, a lounge i suppose would be a better term, specifically made for such things as breatfeeding.
I certainly wouldn't expect a mother to feed her child in the 'toilet'.
When I see a mother feeding, it certainly doesn't bother me! I just don't cae to see details...as I would not want to expose myself either...
Hello all,
Have we as a global community then become "body" conscious. I was browsing through Austar TV when they had a show about the sexual revolution. Why are we a species who builds cosmetic "giants"? and have lyposuction? Is this the Ego and the false self here? Are future generations suffer more detrement? Or will their be another "sixties", flower power and love ins?:rockon: Please tell me what you think I would be most interested? Oh and who do youdress for? Yourself, others or both?
First of all, we are all sentient beings, gay or straight. We are all entitled the same compassion and respect in the eyes of the Lord Buddha. Let's start from that point.
I would love to be able to hold my partner's hand if I wanted to walking in downtown. I do not want to lip lock with him. Most PDA's I've seen are teenagers trying to see whose tongue will make it down the other's throat.
Now about the movie. 30 seconds of a homosexual act is nothing compared to the number of years of moments in films showing sexual activity between heterosexuals. I could honestly say I'm tired of heterosexuality being rammed down my throat. All the baby showers, weddings, anniversaries and the like. Pictures being shown on the desk. Baby pictures (which I love!) all the time. Many rites of passage for heterosexuals that I get to see all the time. This is what Jack and Ennis wanted but couldn't have. Jack kept trying to get Ennis to do it, but we see Ennis' childhood memories preventing him. In the 60's, 70's, and 80's, it was definitely not acceptable. It's still not too acceptable yet. But it was worse then.
I felt sorry for Ennis' wife. She got a raw deal in that movie. Anything she wanted, Ennis wanted to fight about. I'm sure it was to show that it wasn't what he really wanted. I'm glad she divorced him, but he still didn't take Jack up on his offer. When he went over for dinner at the ex-wife's house and starts to get abusive there, where was her new husband? What a wimp! I thought Heath Ledger did a good job, but the woman who played the wife was better.
Ennis was severely repressed. He couldn't fathom having a full time relationship with Jack as is pointed out in the movie. He couldn't accept any of his feelings. You have to deal with a lot before you can accept your gay. Ennis could only show one thing most of the time and that was anger. He was not a happy man. Hope he gets the academy award (Well, if Phillip Seymour Hoffman doesn't get it for "Capote").
Jack was also as he wanted to move into the middle of nowhere to have a relationship. That's really sad. They had to hide that they loved each other. Teenagers might have to do that with their parents for a little bit. Try a lifetime. Some may know this but I didn't accept my homosexuality until 2000. 35 years old. Have we made much progress?
Jack's wife was so into her own world for a long time before the conclusion. And she was a bit of a tramp, but that was okay. It was heterosexual. I just realized that. The car scene was "normal" but what Jack and Ennis felt wasn't. I DON'T THINK HOMOSEXUALITY IS ABNORMAL, just speaking of society's norms. It does show just because you can perform mechanically means nothing about love and committment.
There are many other points that I could make that would show that things haven't changed much since then. Cept me and my partner own our own home in the burbs and don't care what our neighbors think. We didn't ask for their permission before we fell in love. And some of them I don't see together, though nice people. We have suffered one instance of vandalism in the past 5 years, but I don't think it was gay related. Stupid kids throwing pumpkins after Halloween.
So whether you like the content or not, it was well done.
If you would like to see another one that has no sex whatsoever and is a happy film, rent "Big Eden". I loved it and would give it 4 stars. Just a great film about love.
I was wondering when you were going to give us a different perspective. I was wondering how the "accepted" practice of constantly showing hetersexual acts was viewed by you. You make a good point.
That was a thought-provoking post, Jerbear.:scratch:
It never occurred to me that seeing heterosexual families, babies, and photos on desks in the workplace would 'pushing heterosexuality'.
Thanks for the insight.
I really liked the reply, and can understand a lot of what you said, but I think where you said that heteros get forced down on us, might be a miss understanding, for me it is a longing, it is something I will never have, Yes laws in the UK have changed in the past few years, I have a lovely house with my partner, we have the dog and the white picket fence, I have the right to marry the man of my dreams, and I can addopt, BUT never will I have the joy of holding my own kid in my arms, and seeing baby pictures, and christenings and all the things that goes along with that just emphasize that point.
I've never really thought about it. I don't know that "loss" is the correct word - but what a given lifestyle includes and discludes (is that even a word?).
I know I do have fond memories of my son as a baby, holding him in my arms, viewing everything in this world that had become tired and shabby to me - through the eyes of my son - and how truly wonderful that was.
While I don't believe that I'm a father who takes my son and my time with him for granted - it does make me more mindful of my relationship, history and future with my son.
Sorry if this sounds like I'm rubbing salt in a wound or something - that is not how I intended it. Just thinking out loud through my fingers about some points you made.
BUT never will I have the joy of holding my own kid in my arms, and seeing baby pictures, and christenings and all the things that goes along with that just emphasize that point.
Just another point.
Delboy
That breaks my heart.
I am glad the laws in the UK are better than they are here for homosexuals. I am hoping things will improve after our current president is no longer in office (Man, I REALLY dislike our current president!).
Originally Posted by riponcub
BUT never will I have the joy of holding my own kid in my arms, and seeing baby pictures, and christenings and all the things that goes along with that just emphasize that point.
Just another point.
Delboy
Deep sympathy my dear, but if it helps at all, do try to hold onto the fact that just being hetero doesn't guarantee that these things will come to you either.
I won't be having children in this life, but I can be a loving mother to any children who need me. The world is full of children who need loving mothers and fathers. Genetics is just science. Parental love knows no bounds.
I never wanted children. I don't mention it much at all anymore, but I grew up abused. I didn't want to treat a child the way I was. Since for years I had quite a temper, I decided that I wouldn't adopt or become a foster parent. Now that I am emotionally mature enough, I still don't want a child. It wouldn't be fair to the child to have parents in their 50's when they are pre-teens and teenagers.
I'm sorry that you hurt over not being able to have children. There is dukkha at work again. I've been thinking about dukkha alot recently as I am dealing with chronic pain. What really hurts me is the craving to be out of pain. That may not happen for me. But any type of suffering is the same. One of the things that I'm doing is looking at this closely and trying to understand why I want to be pain free. Am I sounding like TNH here?
My father told me recently that he thought gay marriage shouldn't be legalized. Now, he is a liberal atheist so that took me back. I questioned him on this and he said he was old fashioned about it. Needless to say, I told him what I thought. My older brother is a functional illiterate who has a drinking/drug problem that has gone on for over 30 years. He has been married twice and divorced twice. I pointed out to my father that my partner and I are both college educated and contributing members of society and can't do so once since we are both men. We want to make a legal contract that most adults in America are allowed to make. We are deemed to not be able to enter into the same contract due to mainly religious reasons. I highly disagree with this but it is the law in the U.S. I do write my senators, congressmen, and local politicians and vote. I hope my partner and I will be able to enter into a civil contract one day. Please note that I'm not saying marriage as it connotes religion. If you do it down at the courthouse, you are just as legally connected.
It's tough being a homosexual. I honestly think it takes a real man to be gay. No offense guys. Some of the stuff gay people have to put up with most men would be appalled at anyone thinking they should have to go through. As drag queens used to say "It takes guts to be a sissy".
Comments
Hmmm....
You don't get out much, do you?
-bf
BF - what's up with the sushi avatar??
I loved Brokeback Mountain, though it was incredibly sad. What I find truly offensive, however, are all the tasteless parodies popping up all over the place, most of which are simply thinly disguised homophobic blasts. C'mon people, grow up!
Palzang
I hope I am forgiven for taking issue with coleen's initial post, especially because she's "new" here. However, I did it in the only way I knew, trying to show how thoughtless the remarks she made were. I know my circumlocution of her post did not make sense, but neither did her post, at least not to me. No, not the least... Nothing about the movie was "in your face." Quite the opposite, it was all about "the closet." It certainly ends there in the final moments. I think that if, in fact, she truly saw it, she must have slept through it or was distracted throughout.
Let's not forget, Palzang, that there's a lot of marketing strategy involved in promoting this (or any other) film, and having "spin-off" trailers, posters, or what-not does no real harm. I mean, Tom Cruise may have various feelings about these, but he'll take them in stride and won't be hurt.
Please set me straight on this matter, folks, if you think I'm wrong about the tastelessness part.
Respectfully,
Nirvana
---
Palzang
One of my nephews first met his wife of three years several years ago, dressed up with his other buddies, as a "Gay cowboy" at a Halloween party years ago in St. Paul, Minn. (They're all from Minnesota and South Dakota.)
Believe me, there's nothing new about cracking jokes about this stuff. People enjoy enjoying themselves and laughing at human foibles.
Fondly,
Nirvana
When you don't watch tv or read the news - you don't hear anything about these new names for Brokeback.
And the guys I work with (99% of them haven't seen it) don't even talk about it.
-bf
Glad to hear Tom is having a feel in his strides: it certainly doesn't hurt!
And, don't worry, Nirvana, I am sure you are straighjt enough already.
I believe it's a short story though, isn't it?
-bf
Oh well that's blown it, bf! *puts down new, unread copy of that Potter book* :grumble: :rolleyes:
Sas
I wasnt thinking when posted that reply, (looking down at ground and trying to dig a hole with my big toe). I dont want to knock the book for it is a good book, and the author has done some grate work in her time, shipping news was another one that was made into a brilliant movie, it is just that the book lack in depth what the movie had so mutch in abundance. And yes it was a short story, took me about an hour to read today, and still is a good read if you have a few minutes to kill.
Holding hands, gentle kisses, hugs...fine. But there is something to be said about privacy.
Just as some might say that homosexuals flaunt in public with their affection, well, IMO, so do heteros.
Same with breastfeeding. I have only 'book knowledge' on the subject. And I do have opinions. But I will have to say...it's none of my business what mothers choose to do (just like it's none of my business what orientation people are).
However, I don't care to see it in public, in the middle of a shopping center, restaurant, etc. In th Ladies Lavatory, fine.
A line has to be drawn regarding certain behaviors. If people are uncomfortable, there's a reason..not that it's taboo, but private.
Just my opinions...
Ooops... sorry! MrsKarmakillo.
You may give me one, good, hard spanking.
Maybe a couple.
Okay... I'll just tell you when to stop
-bf
I couldn't agree more Sharpiegirl. Yes love is great any which way it happens but I have lost count of the number of times I've sat in a public place feeling very uncomfortable when a couple are doing everything but screw right next to me. Time and place ...
At least I'm not quite as bad as the Old Feller who tapped a couple on the shoulders who were apparently practicing a mutual tonsilectomy in the pub and said "If you're that damned hungry, they do sandwiches here!"
I agree, Yogamama. It's the same in Canada. Something has gone wrong somewhere. And the thought that mothers should have to feed their babies in the toilet makes me want to cry.
Brigid
Quite a different matter - as you point out, babies need feeding when they need feeding, and it IS very considerate to chuck a poncho or shawl over the proceedings to avoid any embarrassment, so I can't really understand the fuss that is kicked up.
Fede - yes. World of difference between getting 'em out for fun and using them for their original purpose. Especially when, over here, men have no compunction in whipping their willies out to have a pee in public no matter who's around!
Knitwitch - sorry to hear about all of the willies being whipped out in your area! LOL!
Men over there are using them for what they were made for. As someone else said, they're not whipping them out for fun.
Times change - things change.
No sense bitching about how other people view things.
-bf
they don't get to see them legally, again, until they're sixteen.....
*ba-dumph!*
But you know, there's no 'discretion'! Tthey literally don't care who's looking, or where they are... you hoot at them, and they whip round in a graceful arc.... !! there's one in the eye for the dog!
The point was being made that breastfeeding should be socially acceptable and someone else pointed out that men whip out their johnsons and take a whiz wherever they want.
I personally don't think their should be "voiding" in public. I could really give a crap one way or the other about a woman breastfeeding.
Just that "whipping out the willie" and using it for what it was intended is really no different than using breasts to breastfeed - neither are being used for "fun".
Oddly enough, if a guy did that in the states - he would probably be locked up for 10 to 15 because he's a pervert. Over here in the states, if a woman flashes you - everyone has a good chuckle. If a man flashes - we lock 'em up.
I think it's just what society has taught us.
-bf
P.S. A woman I once knew said guys in France will piss wherever they want - and she said things get a little "whiffy" at times :wtf:
P.P.S. Oh yeah... I think I've said in the past that I really like boobies. They're not bad! Viva le boobies!
It's just the perception that one is acceptable and the other isn't. Over here, anyway. I think the laws on indecent exposure are the same in the UK.
The "for fun" comment was about boobs, not willies. I do know ladies who, after a few pints want to show the world how blessed they are.
And these "women" you know that whip out the boobies... do they happen to be
Wiccan
on this website and
have a crow/raven for an avatar???
-bf
Nope!
Little, green, bug-eared Yodamama squirting milk all over the place.
Bob and Tom (www.bobandtom.com) have a super hero called Shirtless Girl who uses her hooters to fight crime. Men see them and all of a sudden, they can't walk anymore!
I think I saw something like this on "Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex" by Woody Allen.
-bf
Are you referring to my response to sharpiegirls post? If so, I didn't mean for it to look like I was "bitching" about her views. Just sharing my views as well. I hope my post wasn't perceived that way.
Nope... didn't think you were bitching, Yoda.
Poor choice of words on my part.
Part of my Right Wrong Speech training.
-bf
I am not sure about the malls and public places in your area, or in Canada. But here in my parts, there are family rest rooms and/or private areas, a lounge i suppose would be a better term, specifically made for such things as breatfeeding.
I certainly wouldn't expect a mother to feed her child in the 'toilet'.
When I see a mother feeding, it certainly doesn't bother me! I just don't cae to see details...as I would not want to expose myself either...
Hello all,
Have we as a global community then become "body" conscious. I was browsing through Austar TV when they had a show about the sexual revolution. Why are we a species who builds cosmetic "giants"? and have lyposuction? Is this the Ego and the false self here? Are future generations suffer more detrement? Or will their be another "sixties", flower power and love ins?:rockon: Please tell me what you think I would be most interested? Oh and who do youdress for? Yourself, others or both?
Cheers
I would love to be able to hold my partner's hand if I wanted to walking in downtown. I do not want to lip lock with him. Most PDA's I've seen are teenagers trying to see whose tongue will make it down the other's throat.
Now about the movie. 30 seconds of a homosexual act is nothing compared to the number of years of moments in films showing sexual activity between heterosexuals. I could honestly say I'm tired of heterosexuality being rammed down my throat. All the baby showers, weddings, anniversaries and the like. Pictures being shown on the desk. Baby pictures (which I love!) all the time. Many rites of passage for heterosexuals that I get to see all the time. This is what Jack and Ennis wanted but couldn't have. Jack kept trying to get Ennis to do it, but we see Ennis' childhood memories preventing him. In the 60's, 70's, and 80's, it was definitely not acceptable. It's still not too acceptable yet. But it was worse then.
I felt sorry for Ennis' wife. She got a raw deal in that movie. Anything she wanted, Ennis wanted to fight about. I'm sure it was to show that it wasn't what he really wanted. I'm glad she divorced him, but he still didn't take Jack up on his offer. When he went over for dinner at the ex-wife's house and starts to get abusive there, where was her new husband? What a wimp! I thought Heath Ledger did a good job, but the woman who played the wife was better.
Ennis was severely repressed. He couldn't fathom having a full time relationship with Jack as is pointed out in the movie. He couldn't accept any of his feelings. You have to deal with a lot before you can accept your gay. Ennis could only show one thing most of the time and that was anger. He was not a happy man. Hope he gets the academy award (Well, if Phillip Seymour Hoffman doesn't get it for "Capote").
Jack was also as he wanted to move into the middle of nowhere to have a relationship. That's really sad. They had to hide that they loved each other. Teenagers might have to do that with their parents for a little bit. Try a lifetime. Some may know this but I didn't accept my homosexuality until 2000. 35 years old. Have we made much progress?
Jack's wife was so into her own world for a long time before the conclusion. And she was a bit of a tramp, but that was okay. It was heterosexual. I just realized that. The car scene was "normal" but what Jack and Ennis felt wasn't. I DON'T THINK HOMOSEXUALITY IS ABNORMAL, just speaking of society's norms. It does show just because you can perform mechanically means nothing about love and committment.
There are many other points that I could make that would show that things haven't changed much since then. Cept me and my partner own our own home in the burbs and don't care what our neighbors think. We didn't ask for their permission before we fell in love. And some of them I don't see together, though nice people. We have suffered one instance of vandalism in the past 5 years, but I don't think it was gay related. Stupid kids throwing pumpkins after Halloween.
So whether you like the content or not, it was well done.
If you would like to see another one that has no sex whatsoever and is a happy film, rent "Big Eden". I loved it and would give it 4 stars. Just a great film about love.
I'm so happy you're back!
Love,
Brigid
Great post. I am glad you thought the movie was done well. I absolutely loved it and want to see it again.
Kim
I was wondering when you were going to give us a different perspective. I was wondering how the "accepted" practice of constantly showing hetersexual acts was viewed by you. You make a good point.
Your teenagers comment - heh heh... funny.
-bf
It never occurred to me that seeing heterosexual families, babies, and photos on desks in the workplace would 'pushing heterosexuality'.
Thanks for the insight.
I really liked the reply, and can understand a lot of what you said, but I think where you said that heteros get forced down on us, might be a miss understanding, for me it is a longing, it is something I will never have, Yes laws in the UK have changed in the past few years, I have a lovely house with my partner, we have the dog and the white picket fence, I have the right to marry the man of my dreams, and I can addopt, BUT never will I have the joy of holding my own kid in my arms, and seeing baby pictures, and christenings and all the things that goes along with that just emphasize that point.
Just another point.
Delboy
I've never really thought about it. I don't know that "loss" is the correct word - but what a given lifestyle includes and discludes (is that even a word?).
I know I do have fond memories of my son as a baby, holding him in my arms, viewing everything in this world that had become tired and shabby to me - through the eyes of my son - and how truly wonderful that was.
While I don't believe that I'm a father who takes my son and my time with him for granted - it does make me more mindful of my relationship, history and future with my son.
Sorry if this sounds like I'm rubbing salt in a wound or something - that is not how I intended it. Just thinking out loud through my fingers about some points you made.
-bf
That breaks my heart.
I am glad the laws in the UK are better than they are here for homosexuals. I am hoping things will improve after our current president is no longer in office (Man, I REALLY dislike our current president!).
BUT never will I have the joy of holding my own kid in my arms, and seeing baby pictures, and christenings and all the things that goes along with that just emphasize that point.
Just another point.
Delboy
Deep sympathy my dear, but if it helps at all, do try to hold onto the fact that just being hetero doesn't guarantee that these things will come to you either.
I and many like me are in the same boat.
I won't be having children in this life, but I can be a loving mother to any children who need me. The world is full of children who need loving mothers and fathers. Genetics is just science. Parental love knows no bounds.
With love,
Brigid
I never wanted children. I don't mention it much at all anymore, but I grew up abused. I didn't want to treat a child the way I was. Since for years I had quite a temper, I decided that I wouldn't adopt or become a foster parent. Now that I am emotionally mature enough, I still don't want a child. It wouldn't be fair to the child to have parents in their 50's when they are pre-teens and teenagers.
I'm sorry that you hurt over not being able to have children. There is dukkha at work again. I've been thinking about dukkha alot recently as I am dealing with chronic pain. What really hurts me is the craving to be out of pain. That may not happen for me. But any type of suffering is the same. One of the things that I'm doing is looking at this closely and trying to understand why I want to be pain free. Am I sounding like TNH here?
My father told me recently that he thought gay marriage shouldn't be legalized. Now, he is a liberal atheist so that took me back. I questioned him on this and he said he was old fashioned about it. Needless to say, I told him what I thought. My older brother is a functional illiterate who has a drinking/drug problem that has gone on for over 30 years. He has been married twice and divorced twice. I pointed out to my father that my partner and I are both college educated and contributing members of society and can't do so once since we are both men. We want to make a legal contract that most adults in America are allowed to make. We are deemed to not be able to enter into the same contract due to mainly religious reasons. I highly disagree with this but it is the law in the U.S. I do write my senators, congressmen, and local politicians and vote. I hope my partner and I will be able to enter into a civil contract one day. Please note that I'm not saying marriage as it connotes religion. If you do it down at the courthouse, you are just as legally connected.
It's tough being a homosexual. I honestly think it takes a real man to be gay. No offense guys. Some of the stuff gay people have to put up with most men would be appalled at anyone thinking they should have to go through. As drag queens used to say "It takes guts to be a sissy".