meditation despondency

Fenix

do you ever get thw feeling like you just couldnt meditate? that something you were thinking about was just to important to risk not thinking or your so worried that you feel horrible and can't possibly make your self to sit down?

I have every evening an inclination towards an antipathy towards meditation for some reason. on some occasions like now, I feel so worked up and angry disappointed sad that I find the idea of meditating almost revolting and would rather wish press my head hard on my pillow and wander off to sleep forgetting all the nonsense

person

All the time, but I do it anyway. I have enough experience with meditating to know that in spite of any negative mood I'm in at the time or how uninspiring a particular session may be that afterwards my state of mind will be calmer.

federica

...I feel so worked up and angry disappointed sad that I find the idea of meditating almost revolting and would rather wish press my head hard on my pillow and wander off to sleep forgetting all the nonsense

Go ahead.... that's the nice thing about meditation.....nobody's forcing you.

taiyaki

Yes all the time.

But let me give you some advice.
Meditation is all about relationship and responding.

In the present moment things arise. Be it good things, bad things, neutral things. Either way stuff is experienced. You cannot control what arises.

But you can control how you respond, which in turn plants seeds for future arisings.

This what you have control over is how you respond in the present moment and the future. You do not have control over what arises.

Know and realize this distinction.

So if you're having great aversion, well its due to past actions of body, speech, and mind. Recognize this fact and just respond with such knowledge.

Grow a relationship with such experiences. Whatever it is. Open up to it. Let it in and stay is it pleases. It will leave when its done.

It will stay if we attach or push away. It will haunt us longer if we want it to go away. Etc.

So just build a relationship with it. Respond to it in a healthy and positive way. And remember the part about having no control over what arises but only having control over how you respond.

Also it really helps to really pay attention with and open mindfulness. Oh negative thoughts. Negative sensations. Okay. I know you. Hello. Just sit.

With love.

Fenix

Go ahead.... that's the nice thing about meditation.....nobody's forcing you.

I see, reverse psychology

patbb

i think it happen even in the most subtle level, even for every tiny little thought.

just look at that feeling, seeing it for what it is.

realize that it's a mechanical reaction, and that it has nothing to do with you

Sabre

If you don't feel like meditating, it is the best time to start meditating.

As soon as you start having some nice peaceful results, meditation will start to draw you in. And when it is really producing its fruits, you'll be doing it automatically because you'll love it. You'll look forward to it. I think it is important to know that this is possible. Meditation doesn't have to be a chore. But for now, you have to use some determination to start meditating.

With metta,
Sabre

Zero

Like the gym - you may not want to go sometimes but when you do you feel better for it and then you're glad you went... by addressing the dispondency trigger, you may see benefits in other areas of your decisions too...

person

Go ahead.... that's the nice thing about meditation.....nobody's forcing you.

I see, reverse psychology

Or its just the fact that no one is rewarding or punishing you for meditating or not. You don't get points for meditating, meditating is its own reward. If you have a headache you take some pain killers, the headache gods don't take away your pain as a reward for taking the pills, the pills are the cause for relief.

In the same way the Buddha doesn't take away your suffering as a reward for your meditation, the meditation itself is the cause of relief. So whether you want relief or not is up to you... "nobody's forcing you."

federica

Go ahead.... that's the nice thing about meditation.....nobody's forcing you.

I see, reverse psychology

no, not at all.
If you want to do it, do it.
if you don't - don't.
As person points out - nobody's going to hold you to account - but you.

Sabre

Of course nobody's forcing anybody. However, to give somebody who appartenly wants to meditate but can't find themselves to do it, the advice to just don't, will not help them.

When meditation isn't really supporting itself yet, there will be a tendency to not do it. This is natural, I think most beginning meditators have this in some degree. It is the mind that is afraid to look at itself or attached to doing stuff, or both, or another attachment. However, if we indulge in that, meditation will never take off. But trust me, it's worth it once it does.

With metta,
Sabre

seeker242

With regards to meditation practice, my teachers says "Do it when you want to do it, do it when you don't want to do it, just do it"

Doing it when you don't want to do it is very beneficial, after you have done it. However, it does require discipline and effort to do that.

"Have compassion for others but be unrelenting with yourself, otherwise you will never overcome the 84,000 delusions of the mind" ~Zen Master Man Gong

patbb

With regards to meditation practice, my teachers says "Do it when you want to do it, do it when you don't want to do it, just do it"

Doing it when you don't want to do it is very beneficial, after you have done it. However, it does require discipline and effort to do that.

"Have compassion for others but be unrelenting with yourself, otherwise you will never overcome the 84,000 delusions of the mind" ~Zen Master Man Gong

agree.

things that you currently feel are things you can deal with.

if its not here at this moment (burried fear/anger/whatever), we dont have the opportunity to deal with it and let it go.

if we have feelings like fear, anger, anxiety, laziness, worries at this very moment, we actually have the opportunity to begin the process of letting them go, we have the very reall opportunity to free ourselves from that particular thing.

how would you feel, what would you do if you never had that same mental block again?

andyrobyn

Hi fenix, My thought is that you would benefit from developing a meditation retreat for yourself, big or small, in what ever way you can make that happen - just do it.

DairyLama

I have every evening an inclination towards an antipathy towards meditation for some reason. on some occasions like now, I feel so worked up and angry disappointed sad that I find the idea of meditating almost revolting and would rather wish press my head hard on my pillow and wander off to sleep forgetting all the nonsense

We're all different and there are many different types of mediation - so explore and experiment.

Jeffrey

Try doing a 5 minute meditation and feel the skin of dread or whatever during the meditation.

Something similar happened to me and this helped me. Of course there is no obligation to meditate and letting go of that voice that tells you 8you have to* is in itself true meditation.

TreeLuvr87

I don't think you're revolted at the idea of meditation. Maybe you feel revolted at yourself for not being what you want to be. It seems like you wish you wanted to meditate more often. Be patient with yourself. Meditate when you feel like meditating. Meditate when you don't feel like it, too, and observe what feels different from "wanted" meditation. It can be pretty interesting to see what lies underneath our thinking.
Also, whatever you are thinking about that seems so important that you can't stop thinking about it - remember that you don't think about breathing. You don't think about the world turning and the way that atoms combine to form things. I don't think there's anything, other than immediate danger, that can't stand to be not thought about for five minutes.
Keep your head up and know you're right where you need to be right now.