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College Life Problem.
Greetings/Namaste.
I currently go to Arizona State University and i am 18 years old. I am extremely into Buddhim/Hinduism/metaphysics however i have a deep problem with drinking. its not that i depend on it nor do i run away from my problems via alcohohism its just what everyonye around me does and its a social thing if anything. I know that alcohol severely blunts the mystic senses but i really dont know what to do....i can just quit i suppose buts its a bit hard since as i said everyone drinks around me...Please help! Nithyanandam!
I currently go to Arizona State University and i am 18 years old. I am extremely into Buddhim/Hinduism/metaphysics however i have a deep problem with drinking. its not that i depend on it nor do i run away from my problems via alcohohism its just what everyonye around me does and its a social thing if anything. I know that alcohol severely blunts the mystic senses but i really dont know what to do....i can just quit i suppose buts its a bit hard since as i said everyone drinks around me...Please help! Nithyanandam!
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Comments
Some of your friends won't understand and you may be lonely sometimes, but it will be worth it. Many years from now you may see it as the best thing that you have done for yourself.
If you are forty and you regret not drinking for the past 20 years, you can always start it up. No harm done. The other way around the outcome may not be the same.
You need a new environment, new friends, a new posse. There are students at your university, at any university, who don't drink. You just have to find them. They may be the ones you don't notice in class, because they're quiet or geeky, or to the contrary, they're so average they don't attract attention. But they're there. I was one such student, and I found a group just like me. I have a friend who recently graduated, and she's not the hard partying type at all, and she had no trouble finding like-minded friends.
Join some different activity groups, meet new people, see what you can find. Be open to getting a little out of your comfort zone to meet new kinds of people. This is definitely do-able, you just need the strength to be able to stand alone, live by your convictions, and listen to your inner voice.
The Rhinoceros Sutra is one of my favorites. It says it's better to go through life alone, like the rhinoceros, and keep a lookout for "virtuous friends" while on the path.
http://www.hermitary.com/solitude/rhinoceros.html
I suggest since you are not on any sort of definitive quest for "monk-hood" and don't seem to be at the point of totally committing to Buddhism (actually taking refuge and pledging to it), that you drink along with your friends but Drink Mindfully.
What does that mean?
*Know your limits.
*Don't drink until drunk.
*Don't break any laws.
*Don't cause harm to yourself or anyone around you.
* and Honestly assess your behavior, words and actions in the light of morning and determine if you drank mindfully or not. If not.... fix it.
Just keep developing your practice and study.
Whether or not you should negate alcohol out of your life is highly dependent upon your conditions. Alcohol to some people is dangerous as to other it is just eating pie. It's all relative.
So really be as critical as you can with yourself. How do you act when on alcohol? Are you harming yourself or others? Or is it just casual, etc.
Something to also keep in mind. Limit your alcohol intake. Say make your limit two drinks top. That way you can enjoy drinking and as the same time set regulations for yourself. If you can do this it is helpful.
Or you can do what I did in college. Drink causally, drink till I regretted drinking ever, drink till you quit for months, or drink till it isn't even for the sake of getting drunk or drink casually to hook up with girls, etc. It is endless when it comes to mandala of alcohol.
As I am getting older and not in college, I find that alcohol is just like everything else. Its nice but it also has very negative side effects to the physical body and especially the energy levels. So a glass of wine here and there to complement my meal is really nice, but drinking to get drunk everyday is not fun. Its always good to party once and a while too.
Buddhism has different vehicles. Work with your circumstance. Recognize your faults and strengths and apply the teachings of buddhism.
The answer on what to do with alcohol is all dependent on those factors and ultimately a choice you must make.
Good luck.
It's time to ask yourself WHO is drinking. Are you the one drinking your...beer ? Or is it that the...beer drinks you ?
You know, it's really hard to not drink _something_ when at a party or whatever. But that doesn't mean you gotta drink beer or alcohol. You can always carry around a solo cup with water, or even carry around a nalgene bottle. You can tell them that your friend's grandfather fell down the stairs and broke his neck and died because he was drunk. (true story! He died '86 I was born '87)
Plant a seed. Maybe you can look into non-alcoholic beers (they have some wheat-based ones in Europe and they are mad tasty once you get used to them, and they're actually really good for you, whole-grain goodness)
Anyway, be strong, have fun; and as @Dakini said, embrace the rhino.
I can recommend some premium NA beers which you can bring to watch the game or whatever:
Beck's NA - snappy lager taste
Clausthaller - the most hops in a NA, or is it an illusion of hops?
Kaliber - caramel taste like a brown or dark beer. (made by Guiness!)
Erdinger - a little fruity taste, it is the wheat beer of the bunch.
O'douls lager - a lot like Beck's but a little negative stale taste
O'douls amber - like Kaliber a hint of brown, but not as good as kaliber
Why is it that you have conflicting thoughts about your drinking? Is it only because it's a Precept? We don't avoid drinking because it's a Buddhist rule, the rule tells us it's a dangerous activity so use your brain and intelligence. The precept tells us to avoid getting drunk (drinking to the point of heedlessness) because (duh!) it makes people act stupid and they don't control their actions.
So drinking is maybe not a problem. Getting drunk certainly is. I enjoy a beer or two with my friends occasionally, but I hate getting drunk so I stop before that happens. What do you do? Do you drink until you pass out? Or do you have a couple drinks and enjoy yourself?
But it's your call either way. You're a young man in college. Don't beat yourself up for acting like a young man in college. Be compassionate to other people, especially the ladies, and be honest and enjoy what you're doing.
Second, to me you have to look at the 5 basic Precepts one way or the other. Either they are firm, or not firm. If you want to say the Precept against alcohol is not firm, then to me you have to say the Precept against killing is not firm.
But, as you say, it is all the individual's call to make...just as it is the individual's call to make whether or not they obey the Ten Commandments.
We can't say in another thread that killing animals is wrong, wrong, wrong because of the Precepts, and then here say they are only for training purposes.
At least that's how I view these precepts.
But in my view, to say that "don't murder another person" is a mere training rule is...
Yes, a Buddhist does not have to take the 5 Precepts. But there is nothing in Buddhism that a Buddhist has to "take". Particularly if you see Buddhism as more a philosophy than a religion. For that matter, there are billions of Christians who don't follow the Ten Commandments. That's free will.
Moving on...