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everything happens for a reason.

graceleegracelee Veteran
edited September 2012 in General Banter
what your opinion on this?

Comments

  • Everything happens due to causes and conditions.

    Otherwise "for a reason" means intended by some higher power... Buddhism isn't into the whole "higher power" thing. :)
    MaryAnne
  • I believe it. :) Dunno what Buddhism says about it, probably what Cloud said, but personally I believe it.
  • personperson Don't believe everything you think The liminal space Veteran
    Basically ditto what @Cloud said. I think everything has a cause but when you say such and such happened to me for a reason what that says to me is that you think there is a further purpose behind an event.

    I think there are many ways any event can be interpreted, they can be use constructively or destructively and I suppose neutrally. Having the view that things happen for a reason generally leads to a more constructive outlook. I think the meanings or reasons are basically self created though.
  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran
    @gracelee -- If you believe it, then don't be lazy ... investigate it. Many people use the phrase as a binky, a pacifier in confusing times. But if you believe it, then follow it back and back and back ... don't stop with some binky answer.

    See what happens.
    zombiegirl
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    I'm kind of in the middle on this. First, I rarely say "everything". Then there's the question of the two extremes -- something your or another person makes happen, as opposed to total randomness. And I think various actions happen all along that continuum. I think unintended things happen with people set up situations, intended or unintended.
  • Does everything happen for a reason meaning is everything that happens orchestrated around us? No, I don't think so.

    Does everything happen for a reason as in is everything that happens necessary? Yes, I'd say so.
    mfranzdorf
  • Somewhere in the World, today, a child was raped. You think there was some deep metaphysical reason for that?

    Things happen because of reasons.
  • PrairieGhostPrairieGhost Veteran
    edited September 2012
    Tosh
    Somewhere in the World, today, a child was raped. You think there was some deep metaphysical reason for that?
    No, but nor can we believe in or accept, even for that child, hopelessness.
  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran
    I once asked my Zen teacher about belief and hope ... were they necessary to practice? He said, "For the first four or five years [of practice], they are necessary." I asked, "And after that?" And he replied, "After that, they are not so necessary."
    Cinorjer
  • Nothing happens without prior conditions.

    No water, no life. No birth, no death. No marriage, no divorce.
    No greed, hatred and delusion, no crime, no wars, no suffering but there will still be earthquakes, floods, accidents, natural disasters.
    tmottes
  • I think hope becomes trust if it has the chance.
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran
    gracelee said:

    what your opinion on this?

    It sounds to me like one of those cliches people say when something bad happens.
  • "Everything happens for a reason"

    Yes but what are those reasons? Is it necessary to look for the answers beyond our own understanding? In my opinion, it is better to make those reasons known to ourselves, as when you find something good where there is no good to be found, when you find something meaningful where there are no meanings, and when you are finding out the answers for yourself where none is given. Things are happening, but you are making whatever happens meaningful for yourself, you are giving it meaning. Everything happens for a reason, so let those reasons be meaningful within our own understanding, and let them help us in our everyday lives.

    metta
  • CinorjerCinorjer Veteran
    edited September 2012
    Interesting. The quote means several things, depending on your assumptions before saying it.

    If you believe in a controlling, omnipresent Divine power, God or whatever, then "Everything happens for a reason" means whatever bad happens to you or the innocent was part of God's plan and we just have to have faith that our suffering serves a greater purpose and that's the reason it refers to.

    If you believe in karma as fate and past life karma in particular, it means everything that happens was caused by past karma delaying the consequences. In this view, there is no innocence. You suffer from bad things happening because you did bad things in the past, even past lives, to cause it and that's the reason.

    If you believe in blind cause and effect, everything from the big bang on happens as one near-infinite chain of events spreading out like waves in a pond and what happens now is the event part of cause-and-event, with each event being yet another cause for eternity.

    But really, it's just one of those platitudes we try to use, to make the hurting go away a little bit. So much suffering and death in the world seems random and cruel. It is random and cruel. The truth is, it is random in that we can't plan for, anticipate, and avoid it. You send a child to school and someone starts shooting on the street and your child is hit by a stray bullet. How are you supposed to guard against that? Why your child and not the hundreds of other children going to school? It's random by the definition that neither you nor anyone can anticipate it. So what do we tell the grieving family?

    If the minister or Priest is unskilled, he'll say things like "It happens for a reason and we just have to trust God" or "The child is in God's hands now" or "That's karma, unfortunately" and none of that helps and in fact triggers even more suffering.

    No, the statement is not true, not when held up to human experience.


  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran
    Cinorjer said:

    If the minister or Priest is unskilled, he'll say things like "It happens for a reason and we just have to trust God" or "The child is in God's hands now" or "That's karma, unfortunately" and none of that helps and in fact triggers even more suffering.

    I agree these are cliches, but if they help people cope at the time then maybe they're better than nothing?
  • CinorjerCinorjer Veteran
    edited September 2012

    Cinorjer said:

    If the minister or Priest is unskilled, he'll say things like "It happens for a reason and we just have to trust God" or "The child is in God's hands now" or "That's karma, unfortunately" and none of that helps and in fact triggers even more suffering.

    I agree these are cliches, but if they help people cope at the time then maybe they're better than nothing?

    Grief counselors and the training given to ministers if they're smart and take some courses say attempts to minimize the pain felt by loved ones doesn't work and only makes them feel that nobody understands their grief, even though we want to help.

    It's tough dealing with unexpected tragedy. You want to help, but don't know what to say. So just being there and letting them know you see their grief is the best way to help.

  • Okay i hate that quote. There are times for it however in most of the difficult times I have been in this jsut doesn't make sense. I agree that often it just makes you feel worse and misunderstood.

    What my meditation practice does for me is help me be there in quiet listening. That has been the most helpful to me and feels like the best I can be for others. There are ways to practice an active listening, but rarely do we hear how hard that is to not solve or smooth over or otherwise make it about our comfort level instead of the person we are listening to.

    I am reading Bright-Sided about how the power of positive thinking really is not the answer, yet it is rampant in our society. A lot of Buddhism is overlapping with positive thinking psychology and to me that is not really Buddhism. Buddhism faces reality and is able to get beyond suffering, however pop positive psychology is not the same thing as seeing beauty and joy in many circumstances.
  • tmottestmottes Veteran
    edited September 2012
    As @pegembara said, everything has a prior condition-or reason, if you will.

    I think that randomness is akin to the god argument. In the past when people didn't understand how something happened certain people would attribute it to a god. Along the same lines, when we don't understand how something can come about, certain people will say it is random. As far as I am concerned, same thing with a different variable name (god, mystery, randomness, etc).
  • I'm not particularly attached to that saying. ;)
    tmottesDaftChris
  • Ok, we suffer, but we also go beyond suffering. Suffering isn't the reason, or cause for going beyond suffering, but it is necessary in the way that falling over is a necessary part of learning to walk, even though falling over doesn't cause walking.
  • BeejBeej Human Being Veteran
    edited September 2012
    Things happen. You add the reason/meaning/conditions/value/etc./so forth......
  • NMADDPNMADDP SUN Diego, California Veteran
    This can be simplified as some said.
    In Buddhism, if shit happens, it isn't really shit.
    :)
  • andyrobynandyrobyn Veteran
    edited September 2012
    NMADDP said:

    This can be simplified as some said.
    In Buddhism, if shit happens, it isn't really shit.
    :)

    I find it useful to see that maybe it feels like s***, yet in a practice sense it is empty of any sustained permanence. It can be experienced safely - s*** or not

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