Welcome home! Please contact
lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site.
New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days.
Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
The strength to grow old.
Last week I went to the movies, and the young girl at the ticket counter asked me if I wanted the senior discount. I froze, unable to answer one way or another, my desire for a cheaper price at war with my desire not to be one of those "old men" shuffling around the stores that I used to feel sorry for. My wife took pity on me and told the woman we did, indeed, qualify for a senior discount.
I guess you can't count me among the people who have the talent to grow old gracefully.
I passed middle age many years ago. Like most men, I try to ignore the passing of time and pretend I'm still a stud, except for occasional staring contests into a mirror accompanied by deep sighs. Lately, it's been getting harder and harder to ignore what each passing year does to me. Tasks that were once easy now take effort. Things I once found hard are becoming impossible. A day off from work now usually involves a nice afternoon nap instead of a busy day of catching up on chores.
I'm getting older. I don't want to get older, because I have so much left to do and I need a young body to do it with. I have books to write, grandchildren to watch turn into adults, and that meditation garden in my back yard still exists only in my imagination. One day I will be but memories and echoes to the living, but that day is not yet.
I must learn to be an old man, like it or not. The world needs young men, but it needs old men, too. It's not a role I'd really planned for, somehow. I guess I was too busy being a young man.
Lord Buddha, grant me the strength to grow old.
10
Comments
I'm looking forward to getting my discount =P.
As for growing old, if you want to not grow old again you have to stop being born. I'm seeing in my parents what old age does and of course it's not fun or pleasant, when has it ever been? All we can do is learn to accept it like everything else in life.
I'm getting older as well... looking at retiring this year from a job that I been at for the past 35 years. Yes, this body is getting older and I can no longer do many of things I used to do when I was younger; however my mind is still strong and has allowed me to fully appreciate with deep gratitude what this life has to offer.
Don't be attached to the past for it is done and gone... enjoy each moment you now have and learn to appreciate what life has to share.
Meditation is a pretty good assistant because feeling old (whimpering about the loss of energy and the will to do all those should's) relates to imagining myself as young. Because I think I can still put up sheet rock or mow the lawn without a backward glance, as if I were 25, does not mean I actually can. Meditation -- no force required -- just changes the subject ... instead of insisting on the past, meditation puts you in the present ... the place you couldn't escape at any age.
The aches, the pains, the slowness, the fact that you no longer pose a threat ... it creeps in on tiptoes and, even after a good whine fest with friends of a similar age, it refuses to back off... what was once grasped slips away, meaning there is less to grasp and (whatever the eek), less need to grasp ... and more time for other stuff.
Movies ... I hear you. I no longer go to or watch dark, dissecting movies about poverty-stricken people in deepest Maine. Chick flicks are about my speed, even if the characters have all the flavor and structure of overcooked spaghetti ... happy endings are what I can handle. Bad news? Been there, done that.
One habit I've found useful is not to try to find old age "meaningful" or "important." Leave the meanings and explanations to the bright-eyed-and-bushy-tailed. Things seem to be smoother without all that extra baggage.
Be of good cheer. There is still plenty of laughter to be laughed:
just for seniors. Early bird specials cover kids too,(saves $) and eating
early seemed to flow better with my children for years, bec when
they got home from school, they were ready to chew on the furniture,
(lunch at school was between 10:30 and 11:15)
hahaha, and I could have dinner dishes and chores done by 6.
I get in that frame of mind sometimes, too. But I'm still at a place where I'm so busy raising kids that I don't have much time to think about it and eventually I'll be in your place. I'm glad I've learned to slow down, now. As it is, I ponder where the last 20 years went. I don't want to up that to 30 or 40 years that I'm wondering what I did with them.