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My first retreat

Invincible_summerInvincible_summer Heavy Metal DhammaWe(s)t coast, Canada Veteran
in Meditation
I went on my first meditation "retreat" today, and thought I'd share my experience with you all. I don't know if that's a taboo or whatever, so let me know if I'm making a faux pas here.

So I use the term "retreat" fairly loosely, as it was only 6.5 hours long, but it involved a lot of sitting and noble silence for the duration of the program, so it felt like a retreat to me! I guess the equivalent session in Zen terminology would be a zazenkai.

I've been wanting to try out insight meditation-style practices in more depth, so I figured that this one-day intensive "mindfulness meditation" session would be a good way to do it. It was led by a local Chinese Buddhist nunnery - it was quite interesting to see a Chinese Buddhist nunnery offering mindfulness meditation. They also had lots of Ajahn Chah books for participants to take home (by donation). Not very Mahayana of them (not that it matters), but it was cool to see.

Anyways, onto the meditation... I'll admit that I thought I was okay at sitting since I've been maintaining a daily practice for about 1.5 - 2 years, but today was really challenging for me. We did a total of 6 x 1hr sits with 10 minute walking breaks in between sits, as well as a 40-min lunch break. At the beginning of the 4th sit, I could feel my knees and hips aching like I've never felt them ache before - not anything clinical, but definitely not comfortable.

But the mental discomfort was even worse! I guess it takes long sits to really bring this out as I've only experienced it briefly during my usual 20-30 min sits. My mind was screaming at me to shift my position, to scratch that itch, to do something other than sit completely still. It really took a lot of focusing on the breath to get it all to quiet down... but lo and behold - it did quiet down! The sensation was like putting out a fire with water, and watching the steam rise. I had similar experiences in zazen, but not quite as profound.

Not to cling to experiences or anything, but during the 3rd sit, I also had this sensation of pure and utter bliss, and I had a huge s--eating grin on my face, and nearly burst out laughing. I seriously had to try very hard to not start guffawing like a lunatic in the middle of the meditation hall. It of course passed on and I didn't experience it again, but it was definitely very interesting.

So all in all, I think the experience was positive. I'm also really liking this style of practice. Maybe I'll do more of it.



How were your first retreat experiences?
blu3reelobsterTheEccentricRodrigochelaBhikkhuJayasarariverflowBunksDaltheJigsawVastmindStraight_Man

Comments

  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    My first retreats were Christian, as that was more readily available . . .
    My first Buddhist retreat was with a group of friends, who all chickened out, so I went on my own for a week intro to meditation.
    From what I remember it was pretty lax, two one hour sessions a day, half an hour talk, half an hour meditation . . .
    We were also invited to the morning and evening monastic practice, which I attended also.
    On the whole I only attend intro or beginner retreats. Anything else might be deemed presumptious. ;)
    Invincible_summer
  • BhikkhuJayasaraBhikkhuJayasara Bhikkhu Veteran
    edited March 2013
    now imagine noble silence for 7 days! :)

    congratulations on beginning what will become an addictive experience. The pain will always be there when your body is not use to sitting in position like that for hours. You will (hopefully) eventually learn to sit with the pain... and watch it disappear :).

    If you can, I suggest walking meditation before each sit. I've never been to a place other then a monastery so I've not seen(only heard) about some places being very nazi about what you can do and when you can do it. I dislike how every place seems to think of walking meditation as the bastard step child to sitting, Walking meditation is where true mindfulness is made :)

    I developed(and still have roots of it) some major negativity to the meditation hall at Bhavana Society because of multiple retreats sitting in there for hours and going through pain.. now I'm to the point where I meditate on concrete, I'm past the pain, but searching for stability, which is worse :P.
    riverflowInvincible_summerlobster
  • riverflowriverflow Veteran
    Invincible_summer said:

    But the mental discomfort was even worse! I guess it takes long sits to really bring this out as I've only experienced it briefly during my usual 20-30 min sits. My mind was screaming at me to shift my position, to scratch that itch, to do something other than sit completely still. It really took a lot of focusing on the breath to get it all to quiet down... but lo and behold - it did quiet down!

    That little, wriggling, mischievous, monkey mind!!
    Invincible_summerlobster
  • Invincible_summerInvincible_summer Heavy Metal Dhamma We(s)t coast, Canada Veteran
    Jayantha said:

    now imagine noble silence for 7 days! :)

    congratulations on beginning what will become an addictive experience. The pain will always be there when your body is not use to sitting in position like that for hours. You will (hopefully) eventually learn to sit with the pain... and watch it disappear :).

    If you can, I suggest walking meditation before each sit. I've never been to a place other then a monastery so I've not seen(only heard) about some places being very nazi about what you can do and when you can do it. I dislike how every place seems to think of walking meditation as the bastard step child to sitting, Walking meditation is where true mindfulness is made :)

    I developed(and still have roots of it) some major negativity to the meditation hall at Bhavana Society because of multiple retreats sitting in there for hours and going through pain.. now I'm to the point where I meditate on concrete, I'm past the pain, but searching for stability, which is worse :P.

    I tried to do some walking meditation before each sit, but the space we were allowed to walk was very limited and there were quite a few participants so it was more mindful shuffling of feet than anything :p

    Yeah, the hosts were pretty uptight about not doing any stretching (they specifically said "yoga postures" actually) during the breaks... and that if we had to, it should be done "very discreetly." Some guys were squatting in corners trying to stretch without being seen. :lol:

    Concrete? Jeez guy, are you a masochist?


    Actually, I guess all meditators are masochists in some way... ;)
  • BhikkhuJayasaraBhikkhuJayasara Bhikkhu Veteran
    edited March 2013
    Invincible_summer said:

    Jayantha said:

    now imagine noble silence for 7 days! :)

    congratulations on beginning what will become an addictive experience. The pain will always be there when your body is not use to sitting in position like that for hours. You will (hopefully) eventually learn to sit with the pain... and watch it disappear :).

    If you can, I suggest walking meditation before each sit. I've never been to a place other then a monastery so I've not seen(only heard) about some places being very nazi about what you can do and when you can do it. I dislike how every place seems to think of walking meditation as the bastard step child to sitting, Walking meditation is where true mindfulness is made :)

    I developed(and still have roots of it) some major negativity to the meditation hall at Bhavana Society because of multiple retreats sitting in there for hours and going through pain.. now I'm to the point where I meditate on concrete, I'm past the pain, but searching for stability, which is worse :P.

    I tried to do some walking meditation before each sit, but the space we were allowed to walk was very limited and there were quite a few participants so it was more mindful shuffling of feet than anything :p

    Yeah, the hosts were pretty uptight about not doing any stretching (they specifically said "yoga postures" actually) during the breaks... and that if we had to, it should be done "very discreetly." Some guys were squatting in corners trying to stretch without being seen. :lol:

    Concrete? Jeez guy, are you a masochist?


    Actually, I guess all meditators are masochists in some way... ;)
    Well the Yoga thing is understandable if space is tight and you'd be in other peoples way. At Bhavana during retreats they actually have designated yoga periods. Also walking meditation can be hard during crowded retreats. What I often do is walking meditation BEFORE sitting(which is recommended as to how it should be done because it greatly benefits sitting meditation, for me I develope mindfulness during walking and take it right into sitting), because everyone else walks after they sat for 20 minutes and need to get up to "escape the pain". It takes guts to take charge of your own meditation though and get up while everyone else is sitting down.


    well the story behind the sitting on concrete started at work when I use to meditate on benches, they took the benches away because of smokers so I said " eh.. screw it" and started meditating on the concrete and it was the best thing to happen to my meditation practice. As someone who does yoga I knew about the sits bones, When my sits bones are squarely on the concrete there is stability, now I need to work on getting my back muscles strengthened to be able to have a straight posture. Bhikkhu Rahula is awesome on explaining and teaching this, in fact in one of his books he talks about how westerners have a particularly hard time at meditation with keeping the back straight and everything aligned(which eradicates 99% of pain) because our back muscles are use to slouching in comfortable seats.

    watch these videos -





    Invincible_summer
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