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Who do you share your interest in Buddhism/your Buddhist practice with in your life?

DandelionDandelion London Veteran
edited March 2013 in General Banter
I don't mean in a 'lead by example' way, I mean in a 'do you have family members or friends (not purely internet friends) that are Buddhists?' This is why I need to go and check out some local Buddhist centre's.. I would like to know some Buddhists in the person. People I can socialise with that are Buddhists. This is the next step for me that I would like to take. I did go to a Buddhist meditation centre near where I live, but now my job means I can't get to their meditation on time, and only found the place a few weeks before starting the job I am currently doing ~ I wasn't there long enough to make friends really. There are other places I can go though, so all is not lost. I feel a bit like it is a secret, almost. My husband knows of my interest in Buddhism, and a couple of friends. I tend not to talk politics and religion to people though, most of my friends don't either, and that is fine, and going it alone is fine, but I would like to be able to meet up with one or two people every now and then that I can talk to about Buddhism, maybe even meditate with at home every now and then, that would be very nice.

Comments

  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator
    Most of my friends know, my family (husband and kids) my parents, my sister, all my FB friends, most of whom I have met in person but do not usually see in person.
    I ended up finding a small local group of about a dozen or so regulars who are at least interested in Buddhism and come to our weekly meditation and discussion. A guy from our area sponsored a weekend retreat and put up ads around town, so I called him up. It was definitely a blessing. Most people in my life know about my Buddhist practice and study, but few are interested. It's nice to meet up with people who just understand and who I can pose questions to and they can answer along Buddhist lines. It's nice to have the support for sure.
    Dandelion
  • DandelionDandelion London Veteran
    @karasti yes I think that is what I am looking for, the support. And also, as you say, having people answer questions from a Buddhist perspective. Otherwise, it feels working your way through a bit of a fog sometimes in this crazy world. It sounds like you have a very good network of consistent Buddhist input in your life :thumbup:
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator
    one of the most vocal ladies in our group is a Christian who has a lot of Buddhist leanings. She asks some excellent thought provoking questions which makes the discussion really lively. She's said many times that her understanding of Buddhism and the simpleness of the teachings have helped her understand Christianity better. We have a good group, we are lucky for sure. We live in a really small town (3000 people) so I was surprised to find such an active group. You'll find yours, too. It'll come :)
  • DandelionDandelion London Veteran
    Yes, I think there are quite a few people on this forum that also have Christian influences/leanings. The two faiths do seem to get on quite well, as far as I have seen anyway. I hope so @karasti, that I find a good network of Buddhist friends. I live in London so if I don't, then there is a problem (probably with me, lol) !! Nearby, there is a new Diamond Way centre opening up, but I feel a bit wary as I haven't always heard good things about that them. Also, there is a Shambala centre not too far away, which I am considering, but I think the first place I am going to try is a Tibetan Buddhist centre that I think might be suitable for me. The place I tried before, was part of the FWBO. Ages ago I did a course with them on the other side of town at a different venue, which I found fascinating.
    Thank you @karasti :)
  • BhikkhuJayasaraBhikkhuJayasara Bhikkhu Veteran
    no one local in my daily life, no

    I did start a local Buddhist meditation group on meetup and about 35 people joined, although finding places in the cold weather to get together and meditate has been hard so we are still struggling to get off the ground.
  • DandelionDandelion London Veteran
    Jayantha said:

    no one local in my daily life, no

    I did start a local Buddhist meditation group on meetup and about 35 people joined, although finding places in the cold weather to get together and meditate has been hard so we are still struggling to get off the ground.

    Ah meetup is great. I like the ethos of it; getting people together via the internet in order to meetup in person. I wish your group well, @Jayantha. For sure, it will be easier in the Summer, are you hoping to be able to hold meetups for the meditation in outdoor places, such as parks?
  • BhikkhuJayasaraBhikkhuJayasara Bhikkhu Veteran
    Dandelion said:

    Jayantha said:

    no one local in my daily life, no

    I did start a local Buddhist meditation group on meetup and about 35 people joined, although finding places in the cold weather to get together and meditate has been hard so we are still struggling to get off the ground.

    Ah meetup is great. I like the ethos of it; getting people together via the internet in order to meetup in person. I wish your group well, @Jayantha. For sure, it will be easier in the Summer, are you hoping to be able to hold meetups for the meditation in outdoor places, such as parks?
    you got it... I'm looking forward to being able to meet at the local parks. Finding open space is tough, We've tried the library but their rooms are only available 6 times a year and we want to setup multiple sits a week at different times.
  • BhanteLuckyBhanteLucky Alternative lifestyle person in the South Island of New Zealand New Zealand Veteran
    A lot of my friends are aging hippies, new agers, and are supportive of what I do... I talk with them about their practise and mine, but they're so vague and spiritually nebulous as to make any discussion pretty pointless.
  • DandelionDandelion London Veteran
    Jayantha said:

    Dandelion said:

    Jayantha said:

    no one local in my daily life, no

    I did start a local Buddhist meditation group on meetup and about 35 people joined, although finding places in the cold weather to get together and meditate has been hard so we are still struggling to get off the ground.

    Ah meetup is great. I like the ethos of it; getting people together via the internet in order to meetup in person. I wish your group well, @Jayantha. For sure, it will be easier in the Summer, are you hoping to be able to hold meetups for the meditation in outdoor places, such as parks?
    you got it... I'm looking forward to being able to meet at the local parks. Finding open space is tough, We've tried the library but their rooms are only available 6 times a year and we want to setup multiple sits a week at different times.
    Yes, and you really need a quiet place too, with space, so a coffee shop, etc, is not going to work. I suppose once you know each other better and have built trust, some members of the group might be willing to offer their homes to members to come and meditate for some sittings. It's generous of you to start the group up @Jayantha. Being in the park in Summer will be perfect. There is a little pond in a park at the bottom of the road where I live.. why haven't I been to meditate their yet, I do not know! I want to go very early as the sun is rising.
    lobster
  • Invincible_summerInvincible_summer Heavy Metal Dhamma We(s)t coast, Canada Veteran
    I only really talk about spirituality with my family, my girlfriend, and one of my good friends. None of my other friends are spiritual/religious or they are very uncomfortable with the subject.

    The meditation group I attend on campus has a lot of sharing of meditative experiences and discussion about meditation, but I'm not sure if anyone identifies as a Buddhist.
  • No one really. At work or when I rarely get out, I don't dare say a peep-- where I currently live it would cause only misunderstanding or worse. And I don't get out much anyway.

    My family and the few friends I have I won't keep it a secret, but I generally don't talk much about it either because they have no interest in it. It's 'just another on of those typically strange things that Josh is interested in'-- that sort of thing. I may occasionally talk a very little bit about some aspects of Buddhist practice with my mother.

    The only person I do talk to it about is my girlfriend online or in emails (we have a VERY long distance relationship). She isn't Buddhist but she's more open to things and curious. I have contributed to (but not directly caused) her interest in meditation in a general way, but I don't push her on anything. She is in a large part sympathetic to Buddhism though. We'll talk about some aspects of it, and we often talk about philosophy, so this isn't too unusual.

    But for the most part, I keep a great deal of it to myself, sometimes jotting things down in a journal.
  • MaryAnneMaryAnne Veteran
    edited March 2013
    One of my daughters, (she just turned 33) turned toward the Buddhist path right around the same time I did...
    She and her sister and brother were raised catholic (our family tradition) but when it came time for confirmation (around the age of 13 or so) they were each given the choice to continue and commit to Catholicism as young adults, or to become Pagan (like I was) or investigate any other religious path they found an interest in... Or do nothing at all at that particular point.
    Both my son (my eldest) and my youngest daughter chose to just sort of drift with no commitment to any particular religious path. That's pretty much where they are today - still.

    Nina, my middle child, did make her Catholic confirmation but not until she was 20 yrs old. Completely her choice - no pressures from anyone. But by the time she was nearing 29-30 it was apparent she was not really into the Church and it's moral codes and rules, and certainly thought they were too misogynistic for her tastes, and over-involved politically speaking. She did marry her very Catholic boyfriend in the Church, (in 2009) and doesn't regret that ... but she just wasn't "feelin' it" any longer for the religion.

    Right around the same time I was reacquainting myself with Buddhism, she took an interest as well, Today she considers herself a Buddhist. We are a lot alike, my daughter and I... got some great qualities and an inherent sense of fairness and honesty... but we also have some pretty impressive faults in common as well!
    We often playfully remind each other to "Call on the inner Buddha, Mom" or "Be the Buddha, Nina" when we see each other getting dicey. LOL It works well for us! :D

    Edited to add:
    My husband is a non-practicing Southern Baptist, my in-laws are all the same, except some are very involved in their churches. Most of my friends are Catholic or christian of one stripe or another, my one sister-in-law (married into my husband's family) has been a 'secret atheist' for many many years, I was the only one she could 'come out' to!
    My family- parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, their spouses etc are all Catholic with the exception of a few Jewish or other-christian spouses.

    Dandelion
  • chelachela Veteran
    I haven't really met anyone that I would consider a Buddhist friend. I could see most of my closest family members being open minded enough to talk about the general philosophy/psychology of Buddhism and meditation, and I have one sister that does meditate (and is into Reiki). But I don't have anyone close that is Buddhist. My husband was raised Catholic, but doesn't agree with many things about Catholicism. He is generally open minded, but currently is enjoying sensual desires too much to consider a commitment to the path. He did agree, on his own, to go see the Dalai Lama with me in a few months, so I'm hoping he will be open to gaining a deeper understanding of Buddhism, but I've learned not to talk too much about anything unless he asks.
    Invincible_summer

  • @chela

    That is so cool your husband is going to the conference with you (to see the DL). Its nice that he wants to share in that, even if it's not really his 'thing'. :)
    chelaInvincible_summer
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator
    @Jayantha Have you tried to call your city offices to see if they have spaces available? We are lucky that the guy who runs our sangha has a large house, and he has cleared out a room on his main floor to be a Buddhist meditation room. We've had retreats there and he fits 40-50 people easily. So we meditate there every week, and it's free, which is nice. But even in our small town, the city owns various locations that they rent out for small fees, and if you are doing it regularly it's cheaper yet, so many that would be an option if the members of your group were willing to help offset the cost. We have a ski chalet that is really nice for that kind of thing here and is rented out for yoga class as well. Just a thought.
    Dandelion
  • DandelionDandelion London Veteran
    Thanks for sharing your experiences. I get a general impression, over all, that Buddhists don't really engage with people in a sort of "BUDDHISM IN YOUR FACE" type of way.. we are a gentle bunch when it comes to sharing our views and religious leanings with other people. Very mindful of other people's views on religion, philosophy, and we don't want to make others feel uncomfortable by our own interest/belief/Buddhist practice.
  • DandelionDandelion London Veteran
    chela said:

    I haven't really met anyone that I would consider a Buddhist friend. I could see most of my closest family members being open minded enough to talk about the general philosophy/psychology of Buddhism and meditation, and I have one sister that does meditate (and is into Reiki). But I don't have anyone close that is Buddhist. My husband was raised Catholic, but doesn't agree with many things about Catholicism. He is generally open minded, but currently is enjoying sensual desires too much to consider a commitment to the path. He did agree, on his own, to go see the Dalai Lama with me in a few months, so I'm hoping he will be open to gaining a deeper understanding of Buddhism, but I've learned not to talk too much about anything unless he asks.

    Yes that is very cool. And, nice for you too, to have the support even if he doesn't want to follow the path himself. Sometimes, I think that can mean more to a person, it really shows their respect for your beliefs and willingness to accept you as you are; having people that naturally believe in the same things is great, but it doesn't always give us the important information about how they will behave when they don't have the same beliefs, ideas, and ideals.
  • Invincible_summerInvincible_summer Heavy Metal Dhamma We(s)t coast, Canada Veteran
    Dandelion said:

    I get a general impression, over all, that Buddhists don't really engage with people in a sort of "BUDDHISM IN YOUR FACE" type of way..

    Sometimes I'm very tempted to! At the campus meditation group, there's a lot of weird New Age-y stuff that people talk about that's totally not related to Buddhism (when we practice Buddhist meditation), and sometimes I just want to Dhamma-smack them. Mindfully, of course.
    EvenThird
  • DandelionDandelion London Veteran

    Dandelion said:

    I get a general impression, over all, that Buddhists don't really engage with people in a sort of "BUDDHISM IN YOUR FACE" type of way..

    Sometimes I'm very tempted to! At the campus meditation group, there's a lot of weird New Age-y stuff that people talk about that's totally not related to Buddhism (when we practice Buddhist meditation), and sometimes I just want to Dhamma-smack them. Mindfully, of course.
    Is it run by a Buddhist?
  • Invincible_summerInvincible_summer Heavy Metal Dhamma We(s)t coast, Canada Veteran
    @Dandelion - It's student-run and tries to be non-denominational, but given the representation of meditation leaders that are invited a few days of the week, there's an emphasis on Buddhist meditation. 2 out of 5 days in the week, it's casual sitting led by students (usually a club executive), 2 other days it's a Zen monastic, and the final day is a NKT monastic.

    Perhaps it's just a coincidence that ordained Buddhists are available to teach at our group.
  • DandelionDandelion London Veteran

    @Dandelion - It's student-run and tries to be non-denominational, but given the representation of meditation leaders that are invited a few days of the week, there's an emphasis on Buddhist meditation. 2 out of 5 days in the week, it's casual sitting led by students (usually a club executive), 2 other days it's a Zen monastic, and the final day is a NKT monastic.

    Perhaps it's just a coincidence that ordained Buddhists are available to teach at our group.

    It sounds like you would prefer (understandably, I would be the same anyway) a meditation group that you know for sure would be dedicated to Buddhist meditation, without the 'noise' of new age stuff been thrown in the air. Is there a Buddhist centre near to you that you think might be suitable?
  • I sometimes share ideas with one of my best friends, but then mainly concepts that aren't alien to a non-buddhist. Most everybody in my sphere of social contact isn't buddhist, nor religious at all, not much enthusiasm from that corner. I don't go to any Buddhist centres either, the meditation sessions are much to late for me to be able to handle school the next day efficiently. That leaves me stuck with you guys here. No offense intended, only a compliment, you people are my portal to alike-thinkers, and I wish you all a pleasant evening (or morning/ afternoon/ night/ etc.).
  • Invincible_summerInvincible_summer Heavy Metal Dhamma We(s)t coast, Canada Veteran
    @Dandelion - Yeah there are other groups around, and I've been meaning to check out a local chapter of the Insight Meditation society. It's just that this group is in extremely close proximity to where I live and is pretty much free; in my current financial situation I can't really afford to go to other centres that expect monthly donations to attend.

    I make the new age stuff sound worse than it really is though. It's not like there's someone rambling about prismatic energy and crystal healing every day. Other than the occasional "Uh... what?" moment, it's just good to have somewhere closeby where I can sit with a group.
  • BhikkhuJayasaraBhikkhuJayasara Bhikkhu Veteran
    karasti said:

    @Jayantha Have you tried to call your city offices to see if they have spaces available? We are lucky that the guy who runs our sangha has a large house, and he has cleared out a room on his main floor to be a Buddhist meditation room. We've had retreats there and he fits 40-50 people easily. So we meditate there every week, and it's free, which is nice. But even in our small town, the city owns various locations that they rent out for small fees, and if you are doing it regularly it's cheaper yet, so many that would be an option if the members of your group were willing to help offset the cost. We have a ski chalet that is really nice for that kind of thing here and is rented out for yoga class as well. Just a thought.

    thanks for the idea, I'll look into it.
  • i dont share with anyone unless they are really interested.
    Dandelion said:

    I don't mean in a 'lead by example' way, I mean in a 'do you have family members or friends (not purely internet friends) that are Buddhists?' This is why I need to go and check out some local Buddhist centre's.. I would like to know some Buddhists in the person. People I can socialise with that are Buddhists. This is the next step for me that I would like to take. I did go to a Buddhist meditation centre near where I live, but now my job means I can't get to their meditation on time, and only found the place a few weeks before starting the job I am currently doing ~ I wasn't there long enough to make friends really. There are other places I can go though, so all is not lost. I feel a bit like it is a secret, almost. My husband knows of my interest in Buddhism, and a couple of friends. I tend not to talk politics and religion to people though, most of my friends don't either, and that is fine, and going it alone is fine, but I would like to be able to meet up with one or two people every now and then that I can talk to about Buddhism, maybe even meditate with at home every now and then, that would be very nice.

  • CittaCitta Veteran
    edited March 2013
    I have the good fortune to have a close Buddhist friend , a " kalyanamitra " in Mrs Citta.
    You are unlikely to get to know her here though.
    She thinks Buddhist websites are the work of Mara. :)
    Something to do with the legacy of E Sangha I believe.
    Dandelion
  • "She thinks Buddhist websites are the work of Mara. :) "

    Got a chuckle out of that.... for sure. ;)
  • DaftChrisDaftChris Spiritually conflicted. Not of this world. Veteran
    edited March 2013
    Not that many, to be honest.

    My family doesn't know I'm a Buddhist and my boyfriend is, essentially, an atheist. He says he wants to go to temple with me once I start going regularly, but I don't think he would really like it. Most of my friends are either adherents to other faiths, mainly Christian, or are completely non-religious.

    The only person I can think of who would really be willing to share my interest is a 50 year old female friend and her oldest child (28). They moved two states over about 3 years ago, but they are moving back in June. :)
  • My wife...
  • CittaCitta Veteran
    MaryAnne said:

    "She thinks Buddhist websites are the work of Mara. :) "

    Got a chuckle out of that.... for sure. ;)

    I dont know if you ever dropped in to the now defunct E Sangha MaryAnne..I would guess that it put a lot of people off Buddhist websites..a lot of the time it was a shouting match..
  • CittaCitta Veteran
    Citta said:

    MaryAnne said:

    "She thinks Buddhist websites are the work of Mara. :) "

    Got a chuckle out of that.... for sure. ;)

    I dont know if you ever dropped in to the now defunct E Sangha MaryAnne..I would guess that it put a lot of people off Buddhist websites..a lot of the time it was a shouting match..
    People used to form gangs and ambushes.
    :hair:
  • :hair: Holy cow...

    well, glad to say I've never had the 'pleasure' of experiencing E Sangha, @Citta. (sarcasm)
  • DandelionDandelion London Veteran
    hermitwin said:

    i dont share with anyone unless they are really interested.

    hence your name on here.. I am guessing, @ I understand why someone would not choose to share their beliefs, totally. I think it is one of those things that might be a dbl edged sword, someone might be interested and you don't know that, but it does mean you don't end up in pointless debates about religion (sometimes, they do become quite pointless i.m.o)
    MaryAnne said:

    "She thinks Buddhist websites are the work of Mara. :) "

    Got a chuckle out of that.... for sure. ;)

    Me too :)
  • DandelionDandelion London Veteran
    Rabmudtz said:

    I sometimes share ideas with one of my best friends, but then mainly concepts that aren't alien to a non-buddhist. Most everybody in my sphere of social contact isn't buddhist, nor religious at all, not much enthusiasm from that corner. I don't go to any Buddhist centres either, the meditation sessions are much to late for me to be able to handle school the next day efficiently. That leaves me stuck with you guys here. No offense intended, only a compliment, you people are my portal to alike-thinkers, and I wish you all a pleasant evening (or morning/ afternoon/ night/ etc.).

    Yes, the World Wide Web has certainly made life easier for us. If the internet did not exist, I would have to spend the fortune that I don't have on books to learn about Buddhism, my local library has a non existent Buddhist section. Hopefully in the future when circumstances change you might be able to join in with a meditation centre, if that is what you would like :)
  • DandelionDandelion London Veteran
    Citta said:

    Citta said:

    MaryAnne said:

    "She thinks Buddhist websites are the work of Mara. :) "

    Got a chuckle out of that.... for sure. ;)

    I dont know if you ever dropped in to the now defunct E Sangha MaryAnne..I would guess that it put a lot of people off Buddhist websites..a lot of the time it was a shouting match..
    People used to form gangs and ambushes.
    :hair:
    Blimey. Sounds like it is a good thing it has reached its demise!
  • tbh nobody lol, sometimes on rare occasions if I read something say on facebook of a person I know like 'today is going to be a shit day at work' I may try and turn around their attitude to positive so they have a better day.
  • edited March 2013
    I try to share my practice with everyone, but keep my beliefs mostly to myself. My immediate family knows where I'm coming from (and has appreciated the postive change it's made in me) and my best friend is also aware. He is a Christian with a very open mind and reads the "365 Tao" book that I gave him a few years ago every day.
    I do not practice Buddhism as a religion, but rather as a way of life.
    lobster
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    With sufficient experience you learn to translate dharma into most human expressions and dialects.

    For example yesterday I met a Ganesha Swami, giving Ganesh a good spring clean. Bowing to Ganesha and the swami, I was able to treat the 'God' as if real. Making sure he had been eating his coconuts, getting garlands, getting his milk bath etc. Here we are talking devotion. I got the feeling the 'swami' was one of the temple financiers and therefore a successful businessman. Ganesh is well looked after . . . and may be going on an outing in the future . . .


    I spoke to no one except a few statues (Including Ganesh and Laxmi) and trees at the Buddhist temple I went on to . . .

    Tomorrow I will show pics of the temple to my sister, who is interested in architecture, not Buddhism. We may discuss gardening which she may find relaxing, if she ever 'finds the time' to do any . . .

    Each 'sleeping Buddha', speaks dharma in their own tongue . . .
  • CittaCitta Veteran
    edited March 2013
    Dandelion said:

    Citta said:

    Citta said:

    MaryAnne said:

    "She thinks Buddhist websites are the work of Mara. :) "

    Got a chuckle out of that.... for sure. ;)

    I dont know if you ever dropped in to the now defunct E Sangha MaryAnne..I would guess that it put a lot of people off Buddhist websites..a lot of the time it was a shouting match..
    People used to form gangs and ambushes.
    :hair:
    Blimey. Sounds like it is a good thing it has reached its demise!
    Even those most involved now see that things on E Sangha had got out of hand.
    Of course there was also a majority of genuinely interested and supportive people.
    But the ( large ) minority of angry and /or attention seeking members skewed things.

    On New Buddhist those folk are few. And I am trying to stop being one of them.

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