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Trust issues with the self?

MateeahMateeah Explorer
edited April 2013 in General Banter
I find my ego piping and saying things like "whoa, whoa, whoa Mikayla, you are claiming you are everything when you are really just this body" and such. It seems although my ego is getting mad because I'm finding myself by not finding myself beyond ego - it's dying, obviously, it's not happy! How can I trust the true self? I feel as though I'm kidding myself with all this emptiness talk sometimes - i mean my ego is trying to convince me of this, any way! It still wants to be poor little me. I mean, what gives us the go-ahead to claim we are everything, the creator, the end?

<3

Comments

  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    How can I trust the true self?
    Trust is not an issue for the real.
    There is a phrase, 'not this, not this' (Neti, Neti) - it is the true self that trusts. What does it trust, does it trust the self? Neti, Neti

    The True Self does not trust you. You can trust the True.

    Does that make sense? Neti, Neti

    :wave:
    riverflow
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    First of all, it depends what you mean by Ego.
    It's not necessarily something you need to eliminate, annihilate or destroy....

    According to Thannisaro Bikkhu, though, it is not always so....
  • It's your ego asserting itself. The ego is only thoughts. It's not real so you don't have to do anything with it. Where is the ego in your body? What is the truth?
  • Invincible_summerInvincible_summer Heavy Metal Dhamma We(s)t coast, Canada Veteran
    Mateeah said:

    How can I trust the true self? I feel as though I'm kidding myself with all this emptiness talk sometimes - i mean my ego is trying to convince me of this, any way! It still wants to be poor little me. I mean, what gives us the go-ahead to claim we are everything, the creator, the end?

    When we come to roadblocks like this, maybe de-emphasizing the talk and committing to more sitting would help? Not that the ego will necessarily shut up when we sit, but in meditation we can at least begin to experience and gain insight into emptiness, rather than it being a theoretical concept that we need to convince ourselves is true.

    What gives the the go-ahead? I think it's our "selves," when we are ready.
  • ZeroZero Veteran
    Mateeah said:


    ...you are claiming you are everything when you are really just this body" and such.
    How can I trust the true self?
    what gives us the go-ahead to claim we are everything, the creator, the end?

    You don't have to claim when you're living it.
    Trust the results.
    lobster
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    The dying of the great hams is a long drawn out act . . . Be bemused . . . more parts are left . . .

    . . . wait a minute, I am almost a Buddha . . . I feel a death scene coming . . .
  • MateeahMateeah Explorer
    lobster said:

    How can I trust the true self?
    The True Self does not trust you. You can trust the True.




    Is this to say the truth won't trust you because this is to assume the truth and trust is not what you already are?
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    Is this to say the truth won't trust you because this is to assume the truth and trust is not what you already are?
    The Truth is self evident. It is open to that which shares its 'nature'. When the untrustworthy aspects of the self/ego conditioned arise, truth does not contain or resonate or recognise or engage with these impediments. In effect that which is Trustworthy and True can not be effected or 'trust' the false. This innate and totally trustworthy Enlightened, awake, Buddha Nature is indeed what you already are. If you trust without conditions, you are becoming trust worthy. If you trust your judgement, you might just end up gullible. This perhaps explains the importance of the teachers innate connection. Trust those who trust you, who are openly flawed. Who do not hide or justify immoral behaviour. Most of all trust your own spaciousness, your own unconditioned and innate 'goodness'. We do not trust our lazy, self obsessed, untrustworthy egoic self, so full of qualities . . .

    I take refuge in the Buddha.
    I take refuge in the Dharma.
    I take refuge in the Sangha.


    These are absolutes. Ideals. They are jewels. They are within us.

    Hope that makes sense.
    JeffreyInvincible_summerMateeah
  • nlightennlighten Explorer

    I think that at the basic level of all this, what you are describing is doubt (vicikiccha) lack of conviction or trust. More specifically self identity view " the notion that we have a fixed personality, that we cannot really change, even that we are fated to be what we are" . The fact that everything arises dependently makes this false. Through discernment
    and wisdom, its fruition, we can gain certaintity and expel all doubt. No trust is needed.

    I found this pdf file while I was looking for the proper terms to use. I think it is very helpful, especially investigation of the 8 doubts listed.

    http://dharmafarer.org/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/32.8-Vicikiccha-piya.pdf
    lobsterLucy_BegoodMateeah
  • Experiential realization verse intellectual inference.

    Massive difference between the two.

    What do you consider a true self (Self)?

    And it could also be your intelligence saying that "Self" isn't a final resting place either.

    Discomfort is a good sign at times. It's a bullshit meter from our depths.
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