Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Generosity: Giving for it's own sake.
gracelee
Veteran
Lately I have been thinking about generosity and giving.
I would like to give for the pure joy of giving, not in order to buy love, or because I should, or because I consider it my duty. I am looking into how to cultivate generosity in myself. I would love to here people comments, advice etc
Thanks in advance
I would like to give for the pure joy of giving, not in order to buy love, or because I should, or because I consider it my duty. I am looking into how to cultivate generosity in myself. I would love to here people comments, advice etc
Thanks in advance
0
Comments
That might be too obvious for your question. But giving naturally makes our fist go from tight to open.
and being interconnected....,and we are empty....
you have to practice it to be it.
Who are you thinking of giving to?
What are the circumstances?
I feel that it's helpful to realize that our generosity is also contextual - if you hardly have any money for yourself, perhaps giving your money freely is not the best act of generosity as it will cause you lots of stress. If you have little time, it doesn't make sense to try to give the gift of your time because you may end up being resentful at how your generous act has turned into another time-sucking activity in your life.
Just give what you can, when you can. It sounds like a convenience cop-out (and it can be), but I think that if you're in a situation where you feel like "Yeah, I can help out right now" and not have to schedule or think too much about it, then that's pretty genuine.
I was lucky to grow up with two very generous parents. Both parents, even though far from perfect, were extremely generous people. And they were not generous for any of the reasons you stated above. They gave because they wanted to. They would give you the shirt off their back if you needed it-- even if they knew deep down you were trying to take advantage of them. I'm very thankful for growing up with parents like that, because I learned how not to have attachments to material items from a very young age. I would always share with others, always give, and to this day I don't worry so much about how much is in my bank account, but rather who can I help out next. Not saying this to puff up my ego, because it does have its drawbacks. I do admit to having trouble *accepting* help/things from others, which can be just as bad as being "stingy." I have been working on allowing people to help me out for the past few years, and realizing that I shouldn't always be the caregiver and helper-- so like Buddhism says, the middle way is the best.
But anyway, I just wanted to illustrate that cultivating non-attachment is a great place to start learning to give for giving's sake. Do not live in fear and hoard things. Give to others because you genuinely want to help in whatever small way to alleviate their suffering and make them feel loved and cherished. And I'm not just referring to material things. Giving of your time, your love, your patience, etc... those are just as valuable if not more so. But also, don't end up like me and become a control freak and not allow others to help you out. Allowing others to give to you, I have learned, is also very generous in nature, because you're allowing them to cultivate merit/good karma. So be generous with your giving as well as your receiving.
At the same time, I think it is also about lessening one's own desires for things, whether it is wanting more wealth, more time, more love. If we are too preoccupied with satisfying our own desires then we'll be less inclined to think about the welfare of other people. So by needing less, you'll be able to give more.
At work I can be lazy and I find it difficult to motivate myself to work hard even if this benefits others. I go through periods of trying to be giving and generous but I run out of steam.
I have a strong tendencies towards selfishness.. its a difficult habit to turn around.
Its just like walking -- the left foot is wisdom and the right foot is compassion: you gain some new understanding and in doing so you gain in generosity, and that, in turn, leads to deeper insight, which leads to more compassion, etc. etc. You gain a little of each a little at a time, instead of "OK, I'm loaded up with knowledge, NOW I can do the compassion aspect really well!" It doesn't work that way and you end up only making things more difficult for yourself (I done this exact same thing myself!)
So the main thing is to just keep walking on the path-- left foot, right foot; a little wisdom, a little compassion-- and not to look ahead to where you think you are going (or where you "should" be), but just the next step directly before you right here. You need both feet in order to walk.
So you might start off overly self-conscious about giving at first, but as you practice it gradually becomes more natural until you don't think about it. That is normal when learning any new skills, like riding a bike, learning the piano, learning a new job... or a child learning to walk.
You can be generous to yourself.
What acts of generosity do you get most emotional pleasure from?
I was inspired to practice this very notion a couple years ago by this woman who runs this site called secretagentl.com. I used to print out her little "business card" notes from her website, and leave anonymous letters, gift cards, and other tiny things around the city when I'd go to work (I'd do it around my old suburban home as well, but it was harder to do... not as much opportunity to leave something lying around for some reason). It was a wonderful way to learn how to give without expecting anything in return-- not even an acknowledgement, since it is anonymous. If you have time, look through the website. It's one of the most lovely forms of "pay it forward" I have seen. It's fun to do and makes you feel good knowing that you made someone's day (especially if they were having a rough one to begin with). And thanks to your thread, I'm thinking of starting this up again, so thank you!
lobster... good question!....I love to make paintings for people and sharing in and encouraging creativity.... sharing and making food for people, making people laugh and probably a lot of other ways. It has been very useful to think about this, I can build on my strengths and develop generosity in ways that are natural for me.
Thanks sillyputty... love the website! what a find, thanks for sharing(very generous of you) have you done any missions?... think this might be a new obsession
If you can give yourself joy in giving. Giving increases.
. . . gosh this Buddhism can be so simple . . . :wave: