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Contacted a local meditation center
rivercane
Veteran
This was a big step for me. I think I've mentioned on here that I suffer from social anxiety and not only does this make it really hard for me to go places and participate in things, even just making phone calls can be difficult for me.
I first became aware of this sangha about a year ago, and it's taken me this long to contact them. Plus, there is some chanting involved and you are expected to prostrate when you enter the shrine room, and I was nervous about doing both these things.
The person on the phone was very nice and informed me that they are a very informal group and not everyone participates in the chanting or makes prostrations. A lot of Westerners go here, although there is a Tibetan lama who founded the center and visits often, as well as Tibetan monks and practitioners from the community.
Tibetan Buddhism is the tradition I'm most interested in, so this works out well for me. I'm supposed to go tomorrow night for meditation on the Heart Sutra as well as Sunday morning for bodhicitta meditation.
I feel like this is a big step for me and that I am continuing to make progress on the path, which is a good feeling.
I first became aware of this sangha about a year ago, and it's taken me this long to contact them. Plus, there is some chanting involved and you are expected to prostrate when you enter the shrine room, and I was nervous about doing both these things.
The person on the phone was very nice and informed me that they are a very informal group and not everyone participates in the chanting or makes prostrations. A lot of Westerners go here, although there is a Tibetan lama who founded the center and visits often, as well as Tibetan monks and practitioners from the community.
Tibetan Buddhism is the tradition I'm most interested in, so this works out well for me. I'm supposed to go tomorrow night for meditation on the Heart Sutra as well as Sunday morning for bodhicitta meditation.
I feel like this is a big step for me and that I am continuing to make progress on the path, which is a good feeling.
11
Comments
Ajahn Chah once said, "There are two kinds of suffering: the suffering that leads to more suffering and the suffering that leads to the end of suffering. If you are not willing to face the second kind of suffering, you will surely continue to experience the first."
So although going to that meditation centre may continue to cause you some anxiety, don't be disheartened! Just remember that that is the kind of suffering which will lead to the end of suffering.
Inspiring.
Good luck. Have a great time.
I hope all goes well and that you don't take your fears as a guide. They don't usually make you swallow the gold fish until the third or fourth visit.
I suffer from the same very condition and know how excruciatingly painful it can be. It really takes a lot of courage for someone with that condition to do those things that most people take for granted, and I very much admire you for it.
I see it similar to Christ’s humanity being willingly crucified on the Cross and in his moment of pain and isolation expressed by the His words "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?/My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?”
It is still there for me in varying degrees, like a thorn in my side, and I used to think of it as having a curse, but now see it more and more as a blessing. When it becomes too much for me I give the burden away to Christ and He takes it, and that letting go brings me a calming peace.
May the spiritual path you follow help you let go of your suffering and transform it to that of inner peace and tranquility.
regarding prostrations, chanting in klingon when others are chanting Pali, and doing things 'wrong' in general . . . it makes a wonderful practice . . . you have to be rather unmindful
There is a zen saying:
No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place.
breath kindly.
I had a sinking, nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach the whole time driving up there, but I went anyway and it was quite an experience.
I actually did really good (the root of my social anxiety is the fear of appearing nervous and anxious in front of others) although when I first went in and introduced myself I think I was talking way too fast but I remembered something my counsellor had once told me and I slowed down my speech. I also made a point of focusing on my breath, and I was able to calm down and talk much slower.
There was some social awkwardness on my part, I believe (but then again I always think that, even when it's not true) but there were times when I was really relaxed talking with everyone, which is usually how it goes for me.
I also kept thinking of that Ajahn Chah quote that @karmablues shared, and also what @riverflow had said about everyone there having to learn when they were newcomers.
All in all, the people there were very non-judging, to say the least. And the whole place gave off a really good vibe, that's the best way I can describe it. The incense was downright intoxicating for one thing. I also got to try out a zafu and zabuton for the first time, and was able to easily sit on the floor for an hour.
I'm so glad you went -- and I hope you go back for seconds and thirds and fourths and... ...
Do it again.
Congratulations.
It takes a great deal of confidence to be fearful and anxious in front of others. Maybe you could try that . . .
. . . anyway . . . @genkaku is right, do it again
Bravo!
Thanks for the update. It brought a smile to my face. I use to suffer from a mild form of social anxiety. This has lessened as I progressed further with my Dhamma practice, but I'm still a quite a private person and shy.
Keep up with the practice and I'm sure things will continue to get better for you.
I went back this morning for bodhicitta meditation and felt much more comfortable, although the whole time driving back I keep replaying over and over in my head whether I had did or said anything stupid or inappropriate. Those of you who have experienced social anxiety will know exactly the kind of obsessive thoughts that I'm referring to!
There is also a vipassana meditation group that I plan on checking out. I like this center but found that the service was not quite what I was expecting. Much of it is chanting and reciting and I thought there would be more meditation involved as well as a dharma talk. It is more of a religious service.
Vipassana may be more of what I'm looking for, but I'm not sure. At any rate I plan to go to both and decide later.
I am inspired that you are going to another group.
Wonderful. Wonderful. I will dedicate my practice this morning to those overcoming their difficulties. :clap: