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  • I found a Facebook strategy. Most people have a limited number of sources for their material even if reposting because those friends they are reposting also have limited sources.

    So whenever you get a political ad or a rescue thing click the upper right box. You could 'not follow' them but then not see what you want to see. But another choice in the upper right corner of the box is to say 'don't see more posts from 'The tea party' or 'Right Wing News'. After about 3 days of that it is totally manageable and after about 2 months it will be a surprising thing even to get one annoying thing (relatively).

    Rowan1980HamsakaVictorious
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator
    edited February 2015

    @Jeffrey my husband had a vasectomy and he had very minimal pain and discomfort. It was a very fast recovery and he never regretted it for a second. He was at the clinic less than 2 hours, and said the worst part was having to drop his pants.

    Thanks for the Facebook tip, I will have to remember that! I think I have done that with games but didn't think to do it with random pages as well.

  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran

    @Jeffrey said:
    I found a closed support group on Facebook for schizoaffective disorder and really love it for more reasons than I care to describe just due to 'too long don't read' (TLDR). One of the interesting eye openers is that I am pretty sure I will get a vasectomy once I get motivated to actualize that. The reason is that over half of the people on the site are suffering a lot more than I am and I don't want to do that to a child even if I lose the experience of having children. I don't want anyone 'cutting my junk' but it is nothing compared to putting another through what I see members of the group deal with.

    If you do have a vasectomy @Jeffrey, make sure to keep the affected areas clean and dry afterwards. I wasn't given that advice and ended up with an infection that was not pleasant!! O.o

    the procedure is nothing though.....a tiny sting.

    Jeffrey
  • Rowan1980Rowan1980 Keeper of the Zoo Asheville, NC Veteran
    Just don't live Tweet the procedure like my friend did! :lol:
    lobsterJeffrey
  • HamsakaHamsaka goosewhisperer Polishing the 'just so' Veteran

    @Jeffrey; One of my male coworkers (we are nurses) thought it would be FINE to have his vasectomy and come to work the next day. He was pretty miserable by the second half of the shift. All that stomping around you do on the floor as a nurse, you know. He said the procedure itself was forgettable.

    To choose a vasectomy on the chance it may prevent another's suffering is a hard decision and I'm deeply moved you'd even consider it. I've also heard of schizophrenia as a 'brain disease' which appears to be hereditary to some extent, to the best of our current understanding, which is not complete. You sound like you'd be a great Dad :) and we all know a Dad is made from more than genetic material :D

    JeffreyRowan1980
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited February 2015

    Yeah Hamsaka thanks. Some of these people are just horribly messed up. I don't want to have to debate if I give my 10 year old high doses of anti-pychotics. :3

    Rowan1980
  • Rowan1980Rowan1980 Keeper of the Zoo Asheville, NC Veteran
    I'm very tempted to try Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, but I have some issues that could complicate it: I'm clumsy, incredibly awkward in social situations (I border on being mute in public), am not great with upper body strength (I AM working on this one, though), have serious situational awareness issues (it's not as simple as simply paying more attention), and am terrified of accidentally harming a sparring partner. Some of this could probably be resolved via constant exposure, but I am afraid of being a "high maintenance" student. I'd rather make it easier for the instructor and fellow students instead of harder! :blush:
    Jeffrey
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator
    edited February 2015

    It is -36F at my house this morning and the water supply line to our toilet is frozen...what a freaking day.
    Edit: The super nice neighbor plumbers found the frozen joint and thawed it out. Yay for working toilet. Grateful for skilled workers having to come out in this weather to fix my potty :awesome:

    VastmindBunks
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    If they wiped your bum for you, I think you should keep it to yourself..... :D

    karasti
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran

    @Rowan1980 Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is a wonderful way of making friends and throttling the life out of them. You soon learn to be less clumsy, braver than a lion, calmer, fitter etc. I have only done the sports version, judo. Brazilian jiu jitsu concentrates a lot on ground work, so being clumsy is a good thing. Fall over and take your adversary with you. As for being mute, screaming when people have put an arm lock on is the same in every language, anyway no need to scream as you just tap and get released.

    Go for it. You will love it, being kind in class comes naturally, to not be is just too dangerous . . .

    Rowan1980
  • Rowan1980Rowan1980 Keeper of the Zoo Asheville, NC Veteran
    @karasti -Boo for frozen pipes, but yay for awesome neighbors!
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator

    @federica LOL heck, if they provided that kind of service I'd post a review in the newspaper!
    It could have been much worse, often when pipes freeze they burst before you can thaw them, and then the water would have been in the ceiling between our 2 floors. Whew. It's still really cold those. This Siberian express that is hauling all this cold air can go back home now.

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    Oh god, those trains... over a 100 carriages, sometimes..... can you imagine being at a level-crossing...?

    "No, no, it's fine, take your time, I wasn't intending to do anything else this week, anyway...."

  • Rowan1980Rowan1980 Keeper of the Zoo Asheville, NC Veteran
    My wife is being begged via text by her mother to call her father, with whom she's avoided contact for a few months, or he will show up to our place unannounced.

    Her dad has some deep, deep problems that manifest as sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and emotional abuse and manipulation. (Hence not contacting him for a spell.). She's terrified of him. I'm simply "THAT woman" to her dad these days because my filters are busted when he's around and I've (politely and as rationally as possible) called him out on things. (Mute around strangers and loud around abusive folks. Oy vey.)

    I can't even, y'all. Om mani padme hum.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    Your wife is under no obligation to comply. Her mother is begging for her OWN peace of mind and contentment, not your wife's or yours.
    If he shows up at your place unannounced, there is nothing on the planet which compels either of you to even go to the door, let alone answer it.

    Fix a camera up somewhere discreet near the front door, and have it running on a monitor within your home. You can obtain some relatively inexpensive models/makes....
    he can turn up 'unannounced' all he wants.
    if you see him at the door - you are at total liberty to ignore him.

    Rowan1980JeffreySarahTHamsaka
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator

    Overall I agree with federica, but just another perspective to consider. What if he recently found out he had cancer or something else, and wanted to tell her himself. If it were something big like that, would she want to know? Or would she be content not calling and not answering the door? I always try to keep that side of things in mind when dealing with difficult family members. What if they were dying and I never got to talk to them? Would I be ok with that?

    Rowan1980
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    I think questioning Mother further would clear up any mystery. But that said, there is still no obligation....

    A good friend of mine succumbed to the supposed guilt and remorse expressed by her mother, on his behalf, and decided to see her father after a 10-year separation, due to his nasty, sadistic temperament and his ill-treatment of his children and wife.

    She relented and agreed to go to his home and see him.

    Within minutes of her arrival he had reduced her daughter - his grand-daughter - to tears, and alienated his teenage grandson by hurling abusive and hurtful insults at him. He had never met either of them before.

    My friend, without further word, immediately left, and refused her mother's cajoling, tears, entreaties and wishes to attend his funeral.

    I have a cousin who is so abusive, cruel and rude to his mother, I would never even consider telling him the time of day, even if he were crawling on his belly begging to know.

    Sure, if he was struck down by a terminal illness, I would feel bad for him.
    I wish him no ill.
    But like him? Entertain him?
    No.
    Why should I?

    VastmindRowan1980
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran
    edited February 2015

    I think we (the human race) are fed this false expectation of a center family unit and what that 'should' mean...If someone is an asshole...why should I be guilted into anything bec of blood relation?...I hate hearing people say..." Thats your Mother...you only have one....You will miss/wish whatever" What?? As soon as I start questioning that line of thinking I get treated like I just beat a cute kitten to death....mind you, the other person pushing you with guilt hardly wants to hear what the other person (Mother, or whoever, I was just using that as an example) has done...anyway...I still think the "Inner Family" is a false ideal pushed on us....

    Rowan1980Bunks
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator
    edited February 2015

    I'm not saying she should like him or entertain him or even hear him out. Just saying sometimes it's worth considering what they could possibly say and if you are interested in those possibilities or not. It's easy to assume what an interaction might be like but you also never know when an apology is waiting in the wings. I've seen it happen, and both people were thankful for the opportunity for that chance at healing. Sometimes the best decision, for sure, is to no longer expose yourself to toxic, vicious people. I have people in my family like that as well. There are people in my life I might choose to take the chance to talk with, and others I would not. It's just worth investigating all the possibilities before making the decision. But to enter the decision, no matter what it is, with no expectations.

    federicaVastmind
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited February 2015

    No, I agree with you @karasti, which is why I said that further investigation, by maybe questioning the mother, would be in order...

    But I posted a definition of 'Blood is thicker than water' in a thread, and although a counter-explanation was offered, I'm more inclined to give credence to the result I found during investigation, if only because time and again, it's proven to be accurate....

  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran
    edited February 2015

    Excuse me for a little vent....Africans are terrible about this!!!! You may be my Husband's cousin from 3 Aunts back...but that does NOT mean I have to give you a place to sleep or offer to pay your college fees...And I'm talking about relatives you haven't talked to since you were a kid!!! Yes...it's expected that 'no matter what...and no matter how long it's been'.... I do understand that Tribalism had/has it's place for a zillion reasons....but...give me a break !!!

    Hubby still feels the African pull and I'm "THAT woman" bec I say No. Get in line. Theres alot of 'That us'....hahaha

    Vent over.

    Rowan1980
  • Rowan1980Rowan1980 Keeper of the Zoo Asheville, NC Veteran
    I've considered the possibility that it might be an "I have Cancer" situation, but given his intense distrust of anyone in the medical field, I doubt it's the case. (He smokes a lot and doesn't take care of himself. The latter is very likely the result of living in poverty. My wife grew up poor, so access to healthcare, healthy food, etc. was very limited.)

    Without going into too much backstory, as it really involves a lot of personal stuff for my wife, her father had some very specific hopes for her that would've resulted in her never leaving home, and their relying on her financially and providing oodles of grandkids for them. Suffice it to say, it didn't quite turn out that way. Her dad was already deeply depressed and paranoid. Her mom's known nothing else as far as how one is treated in a marriage is concerned; she's very much the recipient of his tirades, and she deserves better. He's hat bored the expectation that we live with them. NOPENOPENOPE! I'm 34 and too old for that, thanks.

    Setting up a small camera would require the permission from our landlords, which could get sticky. I've been friends with the property manager, their daughter, for over a decade, so she might be able to finesse the request in a reasonable manner. (She's met my in-laws and knows how colorful FIL is.)
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran
    edited February 2015

    Is the camera for when a person doesn't have a peep hole? Just wondering..... I've gotten to where I don't even care if the person sees me looking through the curtains or through the door ( I have a glass panel)... You can't make me open the door for you...this my my house and I pay the cost to be the boss....You can see me look at you, close the curtain back, and then you can walk off in disgust and anger...so what.??! What's the worst that could happen? I can deal with it....Moving right along.....

    Thats my damn door...I'll open it when I get good and ready.

    Rowan1980
  • NichyNichy Explorer

    I just painted my front door blue and i'm totally loving it...

    lobsterVictoriousRowan1980Jeffrey
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran

    wot no picture? Share the luv . . .

    silver
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    Today, I iz mostly beein' a Loithouse......

  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    I was briefly on FaceBook but got off it pretty quickly, all very peculiar IMO.

    Nichy
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    I have 28 friends, and about half of those, are family. keeping tabs on them is easy.
    I've even quietly ignored some 'friend' requests from other family members, and never agree to "So-and-so wants you to 'like' this cause, or that other social occasion" which i could never attend or witness in a million years....

  • anatamananataman Who needs a title? Where am I? Veteran

    @lobster said:
    ^^^ The perfect container . . .

    There I was looking for scientific confirmation that Jesuis Charlie's Eiffel Tower (how soon we forget) . . . and to confirm that 30% of Americans believe we did not land on the moon . . . God made us out of stardust . . . Buddha was a manly type etc . . .

    . . . When I came across one of my Olde experiments . . .
    http://web.archive.org/web/20031222181255/http://pages.britishlibrary.net/lobster/et/

    I iz scientist!

    Well I never. I went up the Eiffel Tower last week as it goes - I suffer with vertigo badly - no wonder, especially if my mind knew deep down that it didn't exist, but everyone in the world was telling me it did as it was now an agreed social institution like money and death and taxes, that was the dizziness I was experiencing - anyway, now I've scaled a 330+m illusion and survived, I won't be doing it again, because now I know it ain't real, and falling from such a height onto a hard ground could be disastrous for my illusory body - hang on a minute, that ground ain't real either!!!!!!!! AAAAaaarrrrgggghhh!

  • NichyNichy Explorer

    @lobster will post a pic as soon as a take one

  • NichyNichy Explorer

    @SpinyNorman I was on FB this morning and I realize how negative it is sometimes... so much negativity

    Rowan1980
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator

    Just a silly story.
    We have a boxer (dog) who thinks she could take down the deer in our yard. She is very intent on defending her home against the poor things.
    Today, she sniffed our xbox one, which has really sensitive power and eject buttons. The disc ejected, and she barked at it, tried to eat it, and then promptly hid around the corner and barked at it from a distance.
    Darn threatening Lego Batman game.

    Rowan1980Hamsaka
  • Rowan1980Rowan1980 Keeper of the Zoo Asheville, NC Veteran
    Boxers are accidentally hilarious. :lol:
    karasti
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran

    @Nichy said:
    lobster will post a pic as soon as a take one

    Still waiting eagerly . . .

    Here is a picture of a naked door [note to moderators: hoping entrance porn restrictions are temporarily lifted] I took last year for those still excited . . .

    Rowan1980Nichy
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    @lobster... you're a sad twerp.... :D

    lobsterBunksRowan1980
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran

    Thor is angry with me. Thunder and a flash of light.

    PLEASE FORGIVE ME THOR - I always liked your dad Odin . . .

    If anybody needs a cructacean I will be cowering in the corner . . .

    Rowan1980
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    Into the boiling water with you!!

    lobster
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran

    Bird crashed into my window whilst I was meditating, nearly disturbed my mind wandering . . . O.o

    silver
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    Have resumed meditation, quite hard work refocussing after a break though! Not as easy as riding a bike anyway. ;)

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    I have a stick in' code.

  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran

    ^^^^^
    Either you meant cold....or Lincoln has taken to tryin' to teach you code....

    Either way....good luck! ;)

    Rowan1980karasti
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    (I have a stinking cold).

  • howhow Veteran Veteran

    Eww. Do we now have to wipe down our keyboards?

    Vastmind
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran

    Feel better soon.....I would offer to make you some soup....but we all know I can't cook worth a penny.....I'll just run out and get some.....BRB....

  • BuddhadragonBuddhadragon Ehipassiko & Carpe Diem Samsara Veteran

    @federica said:
    (I have a stinking cold).

    You should follow a healthier diet and drink more green tea, fede.... ;)>:)

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    @how, fortunately not. I am educated and considerate enough to use my sleeve and avoid spatter.

    @Vastmind, that's very good of you - noodles and dumplings are my favourites, if you can find it/them....

    Well. @DhammaDragon , funny you should say that - I have drunk plenty of water today, and made myself hot honey, lemon ginger and turmeric drinks, so actually, MammaDragon, i'm feeling quite a bit better.... No green tea to be had, but I am avoiding caffeine and milk products....

  • Rowan1980Rowan1980 Keeper of the Zoo Asheville, NC Veteran
    Colds are heinous. Feel better soon, @federica .
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    It always affects my throat.... It feels as if a metal rasp-file is removing the top layer... hurts like hell... and my voice sounds only marginally less sexy that that of Lauren Bacall.... If I had her glorious sultry ooks to match, it would be a compensation... but my eyes are baggy and bleary, my nose red and raw, and my head feels like a punch-ball....

    I can't even whistle.... :D

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