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I need a little direction
karmatib
Explorer
Hello, I am new here and I am interested in learning and following Buddhist ideas. However I have no idea where to start. I have read things here and there and I am aware of Buddhism being more about the mind then the material world. But I need to know how my wife and I can practice it in our lives. Is there a Buddhism for dummies book or a general guide to get started? Our main goal is to reduce stress in our lives. We both have high stress jobs with long hours and commutes. While i realize that these things are not really worth stressing about (since we could be homeless and starving) we find it near impossible to just let go and just "be". I have enjoyed listening to books on tape by Jon Kabat-Zinn (founding director of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.) He has a nice way of explaining things but he seems to focus on mindfulness in the present moment, which is all fine and dandy but I believe that I am in need of something more in my life. Just mindfulness meditation is not enough. So could anyone point me in a direction?
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Comments
Then I might go to places like:
http://www.accesstoinsight.org
and branch out from there.
I mean first, before you can really begin practice anything, you need to know what the various Buddhist sects stand for. Your practice will be very different if you go with Zen, Theravada, or Mahayana.
The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying (there are some Tibetan specific things in it but you don't need to pay much mind to them if you don't want to) By Sogyal Rinpoche
Anything by Thich Nhat Hahn. I found "Peace In Every Step" to be especially helpful as well as "The Heart of Buddha's Teaching." TNH is a Vietnamese Zen monk, but his words really apply to the heart of Buddhism in any tradition.
Most things by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche. He was a Tibetan monk but had the most to do with spreading the Shambhala tradition to the western world. His books (the ones I have read) are excellent. Specifically "Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior" and "Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism."
When you practice meditation for a long period of time (how long have you been practicing??) you generally will find that changes come automatically into your life, as you should find it easier to calm yourself because you know what calm is. More patience, more understanding, more compassion. More thinking through before being quick to react and go to emotional places. But it does take time, and regular, consistent practice.
I will take a look at a few suggestions and talk with my wife about it.
IMHO To say mindfulness meditation is not enough is to not have practiced it ardently enough.
Could you be specific as to what this "more" is that you seek?
www.urbandharma.org/pdf/wordofbuddha.pdf
But if you want to "fully understand the 4 noble truths" then I still do recommend
Mindfullness practise.
/Victor
But I think you need a teacher...
So I guess it might depend on how fast you want to jump into Buddhism. I think books and audio CD's is a great way to start, just until you feel comfortable enough with Buddhism, that you might want to get with a group. At the moment it is going to be difficult to bring Buddhism into your daily life, but I think the more you ACCEPT Buddhism into your heart, and you TRULY believe in the teachings, and you really focus on what it has to offer you and others, the more you will find it DOES help with stress, anger, and being impatient in traffic.
I think what's great is that you have someone that you can work with (your significant other). And if you both REALLY want to get into Buddhism, you both can help each other when one starts slipping or feels some kind of tension. I think you should really take advantage of that, because being by yourself, and being far away from anyone who practices Buddhism, can be tough at times.
You admit that you have been 'dabbling' and 'inconsistent' and this is the reason that you are looking for more?
Life is always at the same pace - insistent.
Gradually increase your exposure and consistency to explore the potential of what you already have.
Build with what you have rather than looking for more - in my experience the more sort of takes care of itself.
As well as the very insightful links already presented, it may assist you to seek guidance from IRL teacher(s) from time to time.
The best thing I found when starting out is holding on to the present moment. Do you ever just look out into the horizon or something far away and suddenly feel this rush of happiness? its like an energy that makes everything feel okay for that one moment and than its gone. If you know what im talking about my advice to you is to try and feel that as much as possible. Do what you have to do, listen to music while looking out the window or just sit in the grass. Thats is what I call the present moment.
Yes to this. Gil is awesome. I like to download his talks as podcasts through iTunes. He touches on just about anything you can think of, such as your idea of doing each part of the eightfold path. I'm particularly fond of the Q&A sessions he sometimes does.
http://www.yellowpages.com/southern-md-facility-md/buddhist-temple
At least calling around and checking out websites should get you somewhere...
Being rural, yes, you might have a little drive...but you might be surprised
at who/what you find.
Good luck
Then I became the student of a Tibetan Lama who was at that time living in Scotland..this meant regular 1600 mile round trips.
I never regretted it.
Monastery vist. In all honesty, I don't think you need direction....you might just
need a little encouragement.
each place that speaks English. Besides...love and compassion cross language
barriers, I promise. There will be differences, yes, but that's not what your there
to emphasize.
There's Nothing to it, but to do it.
You could go just once to get a feel.
Your motivation to change is inspirational.
You are fortunate to have a companion/wife to work with.
I will dedicate some 'good will' (puja) to your situation and hopefully others will too . . .
Everything is in place. What an adventure. What will you be doing?
There might be other online sanghas. It's not ideal but it provides full teachings of the entire Buddhist path. My lama is setting up the sangha so that when she passes on there will still be a lifetime of practice for her students.
The Lama is Shenpen Hookham and she is a Tibetan Buddhist with ties to Kagyu and Nyingma schools.
If you only want to attend shorter classes held on the weekends, there are these temples listed in the link from Vastmind's post which provide such classes taught in English:
http://www.watyarn.com/meditation_2013.htm
http://www.buddhistvihara.com/activities.htm
"a sangha supporting each other in meditative practices. We are peer-led and lay-led: We are all each others' teachers. All are welcome to sit with us; our group practices are Buddhist, yet we respect all meditative practices and celebrate the diversity of practice among us". "The MPG was established nearly two decades ago as a sangha in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Zen master and founder of the Order of Interbeing, whose speech and practice guidelines inspired our guidelines, our use of the bell, and many of our ceremonies. We are a supporting sangha of the Unitarian Universalist Buddhist Fellowship"
Thanks for all the help! I Will follow up on here after I go for my first practice and let everyone know how it went.
/Victor